Emotional affair or friendship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Initially, he was required to block me on the phone, but after she realized I lived halfway across the country from him, is now allowing us to text and stay in touch again. During the period of blocking, he would reach out to me through Google voice and it seemed like he wanted us to stay in touch. She goes through his cell phone and computer, and checks all of his messages.

While this is controlling af, to the point of her seeming stupid insecure and clingy, if he agreed to block you, per her requirements, and then went around that block to continue talking with you, he cheated on her. So yeah, it's an EA at that point.

Anonymous wrote:She recently called him and was asking him when the last time he talked to me was, and it seems like she’s not okay with us as friends at all. She keeps asking about me, and is accusing him of being a womanizer. I’ve blocked him for now because I didn’t enjoy going through their drama, and the experience honestly caused me to lose respect for him. They have been dating for 6 months, though their relationship is characterized by a lot of fighting. For reference, he and I dated for 2 years and didn’t fight the entire time.

It's not about how much you fight/don't. That you frame yourself as better than her means you're in a competition mentality. If he's your ex, and you're truly over it, "she can have him" should be the way you frame all of it. Not "I was better".

Anonymous wrote:While I disagree we are in an emotional affair, I’m not sure if that’s accurate given that I’m not interested in a sexual relationship with him. Thoughts? Further wondering if what I’m describing above is a threat to her relationship with him? I was pretty hurt by her allegations and I don’t know if I’m ready to be friends with her.

Why the fsck would you want to be friends with her? Honestly, why do you still want to be his "friend"? He's the sort of person who would tell his GF one thing, and then go behind her back and do another. If he'd do that to her, he'd do it to you, too.

You need some better friends, and some better self-esteem, OP. Dump this whole hot mess and work on yourself.

OP here. Thanks for the input. I’m basically moving on from this friendship and situation now. I’ve had enough of it. Just wondering others thoughts.

[Anonymous]

You are clearly having an emotional affair. If it’s over it’s over - no friendship. Let the guy go so he can grow with us new girlfriend. I have been in the position of the girlfriend where I have no problem with him having a friendship with an ex but hiding it and flirting via text was a really painful situation. If he had been upfront and said I’m friends with my ex and was open about the relationship and she knew about me that would have been fine. But nope I found out many years later and how funny he forgot to mention it. Not to mention 3 years into our relationship he had to have goodbye sex with her but never said goodbye. I adore men and never understood man haters but my boyfriend is everything that gives men a bad name - a liar and a cheater. So why do I stay? Addicted to him but also know he is relocating for work this winter and then it’s goodbye forever. Cannot wait but just trying to have fun until that day comes. Our relationship has run its course and I want my life back.