If you are the parent of a Big 3 lifer

[Anonymous]

We didn't have the option of staying K-12 due to a work transfer, but now that I have a rising college freshman, I'm very glad she had to start a new HS in 9th and go through the process of making new friends, etc.

I can't imagine having my kids at the same school for 13 years in a row from a developmental standpoint--I think it would get way too comfortable. Getting kids out of their comfort zone can be good for growth and independence.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the stigma of going to a "lesser" school can happen regardless of whether you re at a k thru 8 or a k thru 12.

What I mean is, let's say you go to Beauvoir or Norwood and then wind up at Bullis rather then NCS. Well, that's a stigma just like going from NCS to Bullis would have been. So the stigma factor doesn't really matter. Though I guess it is more obvious to the child if you are counseled out rather than having to apply elsewhere because the school is ending.

[Anonymous]

You are using “stigma” unironically?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think valedictorians and the top 5% in high school have life figured out, follow up with them 20 years later.

That path often results in mediocre successes. A singular focus on academics is often detrimental.

The well adjusted kids who strike a balance beyond academics tend to be the truly successful ones.

.

100% agree with you on this.

I’m also the one who posted that the incoming students, particularly at 9th, tend to be academically very strong. I believe that some lifer families are making the decision to send their kid to a Big3 right off the bat because they fear they won't have an opportunity later and also the (hope) belief that their kid will be successful academically. I am pointing out the reality of the academic side. Look, I know loads of families send their kids because it’s convenient for them, they went there, blah blah blah. But, I still believe there is a cohort driven by fear and delusion.

All anyone can do is hope their child will be academically successful when they apply them to PK at 3 or 4. My child was one of the youngest children at a Big 3 private and we applied her when she was 3. The idea that we knew she would be academically gifted 11 years later in 9th is ridiculous. There are so many things that you don't know about your child at 3 or 4. Will they have mental health issues or health challenges that will throw their life off course? Will the school be socially difficult even if it is academically a great fit? Do they not really like to work hard and does academic achievement not motivate them like it does us as parents?

There are the parents who use their donor, legacy, and/or VIP status to facilitate acceptance at PK or K and my thinking on that is that if your child can't even get in on their own talents at 3 or 4 how do expect them to survive on their talents as they go through the school?

[Anonymous]

LOL at the idea that 3 and 4 year-olds are being admitted to Big 3 schools on "their talents."

[Anonymous]

Parent of a "lifer" and a student who went to a K-8 then joined the lifer for 9-12.

Both schools gave our kids what they needed when they needed it. The one that started at a K-8 benefitted from that, the one that started at a big 3/5 has done extremely well, toured and applied out for 9th but ultimately decided to stay and has had a great experience. I think knowing that they made a conscious decision to stay after truly evaluating an option (and getting admitted) made a real difference.

First and foremost, make the decision for the child you are applying for at the time you are applying, not for who you think (or hope) they will be later. IF the K-12 is a good fit for your rising Kindergartner, then consider if the progression through 12th grade fits with what you currently value/hope for your student, recognizing this may change, your student may change, and the school may change.

As others have said, commit to re-evaluating the choice for each child every few years.

Finally, if your hope is to keep siblings together and to have students stay for long term, really consider and ask about how different types of students do at the school -- sporty, shy, outgoing, those who thrive on challenge, those who prefer a more supportive environment. Some schools are big enough and flexible enough for many different types of kids to thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a "lifer" and a student who went to a K-8 then joined the lifer for 9-12.

Both schools gave our kids what they needed when they needed it. The one that started at a K-8 benefitted from that, the one that started at a big 3/5 has done extremely well, toured and applied out for 9th but ultimately decided to stay and has had a great experience. I think knowing that they made a conscious decision to stay after truly evaluating an option (and getting admitted) made a real difference.

First and foremost, make the decision for the child you are applying for at the time you are applying, not for who you think (or hope) they will be later. IF the K-12 is a good fit for your rising Kindergartner, then consider if the progression through 12th grade fits with what you currently value/hope for your student, recognizing this may change, your student may change, and the school may change.

As others have said, commit to re-evaluating the choice for each child every few years.

Finally, if your hope is to keep siblings together and to have students stay for long term, really consider and ask about how different types of students do at the school -- sporty, shy, outgoing, those who thrive on challenge, those who prefer a more supportive environment. Some schools are big enough and flexible enough for many different types of kids to thrive.

Thoughts on which Big 5(ish) K-12 schools in DC fit this description? Any schools that absolutely don’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a "lifer" and a student who went to a K-8 then joined the lifer for 9-12.

Both schools gave our kids what they needed when they needed it. The one that started at a K-8 benefitted from that, the one that started at a big 3/5 has done extremely well, toured and applied out for 9th but ultimately decided to stay and has had a great experience. I think knowing that they made a conscious decision to stay after truly evaluating an option (and getting admitted) made a real difference.

First and foremost, make the decision for the child you are applying for at the time you are applying, not for who you think (or hope) they will be later. IF the K-12 is a good fit for your rising Kindergartner, then consider if the progression through 12th grade fits with what you currently value/hope for your student, recognizing this may change, your student may change, and the school may change.

As others have said, commit to re-evaluating the choice for each child every few years.

Finally, if your hope is to keep siblings together and to have students stay for long term, really consider and ask about how different types of students do at the school -- sporty, shy, outgoing, those who thrive on challenge, those who prefer a more supportive environment. Some schools are big enough and flexible enough for many different types of kids to thrive.

Thoughts on which Big 5(ish) K-12 schools in DC fit this description? Any schools that absolutely don’t?

Look, if you are talking about traditional Big3/Big5, you aren’t talking about any school that is “big enough” or “flexible enough” for “many different types of kids.” They are a grind and specifically they are good for academically very motivated kids. That’s it.

If you want any of those other things like big or flexible or more accommodating, look at bigger schools or less academically rigorous. I’m not saying there aren’t a bunch of truly very smart kids at the following places, just that you have a little more balance: Landon/HA, Gonzaga, etc. There are a lot of really good private and public options in DC. But don’t kid yourself that STA/NCS, Sidwell, GDS, etc are any of the those things.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read this entire thread, but I would just pick the school that you like in elementary and middle school. Change is actually a good thing, and many of us don't experience enough of it. If your kid has to change to high school, so be it. They will be ok. Just keep a gauge on how they are doing and adjust as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a PK-12 lifer from a Big 3, who is a parent of a rising K and we didn't pick a PK/K-12 when we were picking last year. My PK-12 ended up not being a great fit for me in high school but it was a "good enough" fit and it would have been hard to leave at the end of 8th. The school was not supportive of kids like me that were doing well academically leaving even if the kid felt like it wasn't a good fit. I could hack it academically but only with extreme effort on my part that made me fairly miserable but I got good grades. I didn't want that to happen to my kid so we picked a PK-8 and we can reassess at that point.

I have a similar story, but backwards: didn't get into a K-12 in an earlier grade, went to a K-8 (which I loved), and ended up getting in for 9th. Not that all K-8s are perfect, but they tend to invest significantly in the middle school experience and everyone has this buit-in/celebratory transition point when they're old enough to have real opinions.

Sure, you can apply out of any school at any grade, but I think folks tend to underestimate how hard it can be – mentally, emotionally, socially. You have to know yourself and your kid and commit to reevaluating if the fit isn't there anymore.