If you are the parent of a Big 3 lifer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone told me recently that less than 1/3 of Beauvoir girls that got into NCS in 4th end up graduating in 12th.

]
yes, there are 8-12 lifers who graduate from NCS each year.
There is a "lifer" page in the yearbook each year so this is easy to determine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what it really comes down to is whether you'd like to have the Big 3 as an option once your child gets to middle school and is looking for high schools. While it's possible to get accepted into 9th, the reality is that many really talented kids (for whom the school could be a great fit) will not get in that year. And at least for a school like Sidwell, if you don't get in for 9th...you aren't getting in (unless you are a transferring top athlete or your dad is the president).

I do think fear drives you lifers, fear of being left out. It’s really not a good way to make education decisions for your children. If your child could not get admitted at 9th, what are the chances that it’s truly “a great fit”? The kids who really excel at these places are disciplined, highly academic, driven, organized, mature, focused, etc. The new admits are generally these thing plus add in the very top of the MS class and your poor lifer for whom the Big 3 “is a good fit” is now very middle of the pack, and perhaps bottom (god forbid). I’m just saying that not getting admitted at 9th is perhaps a blessing, despite your fear of being left out. I had a 9th admit at a Big3 and I can see how much stronger the class gets. Be careful what you wish for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what it really comes down to is whether you'd like to have the Big 3 as an option once your child gets to middle school and is looking for high schools. While it's possible to get accepted into 9th, the reality is that many really talented kids (for whom the school could be a great fit) will not get in that year. And at least for a school like Sidwell, if you don't get in for 9th...you aren't getting in (unless you are a transferring top athlete or your dad is the president).

I do think fear drives you lifers, fear of being left out. It’s really not a good way to make education decisions for your children. If your child could not get admitted at 9th, what are the chances that it’s truly “a great fit”? The kids who really excel at these places are disciplined, highly academic, driven, organized, mature, focused, etc. The new admits are generally these thing plus add in the very top of the MS class and your poor lifer for whom the Big 3 “is a good fit” is now very middle of the pack, and perhaps bottom (god forbid). I’m just saying that not getting admitted at 9th is perhaps a blessing, despite your fear of being left out. I had a 9th admit at a Big3 and I can see how much stronger the class gets. Be careful what you wish for.

TLDR: my kid is smart your lifer kid is dumb. Stay classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what it really comes down to is whether you'd like to have the Big 3 as an option once your child gets to middle school and is looking for high schools. While it's possible to get accepted into 9th, the reality is that many really talented kids (for whom the school could be a great fit) will not get in that year. And at least for a school like Sidwell, if you don't get in for 9th...you aren't getting in (unless you are a transferring top athlete or your dad is the president).

I do think fear drives you lifers, fear of being left out. It’s really not a good way to make education decisions for your children. If your child could not get admitted at 9th, what are the chances that it’s truly “a great fit”? The kids who really excel at these places are disciplined, highly academic, driven, organized, mature, focused, etc. The new admits are generally these thing plus add in the very top of the MS class and your poor lifer for whom the Big 3 “is a good fit” is now very middle of the pack, and perhaps bottom (god forbid). I’m just saying that not getting admitted at 9th is perhaps a blessing, despite your fear of being left out. I had a 9th admit at a Big3 and I can see how much stronger the class gets. Be careful what you wish for.

TLDR: my kid is smart your lifer kid is dumb. Stay classy.

There are plenty of lifers who are academically high achieving. Anyone who'd make this sweeping generalization is suffering from a serious inferiority complex. My lifers are doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

If you think valedictorians and the top 5% in high school have life figured out, follow up with them 20 years later.

That path often results in mediocre successes. A singular focus on academics is often detrimental.

The well adjusted kids who strike a balance beyond academics tend to be the truly successful ones.

[Anonymous]

For my lifer, it has remained a good fit. Definitely there are some in the class who have moved on- some to other big 3 schools, a few counseled out, and some moved cities. Not all the lifers who stayed are the top of the class students, others aren’t l. Works out fine. Some of these places have lovely elementary schools so even if doesn’t take all the way, might still be a fine outcome

[Anonymous]

Lock it in early, OP. If you can afford 39 x $60k, go for it. The lifer’s life is easy street. No competition till college admissions. It’s a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think valedictorians and the top 5% in high school have life figured out, follow up with them 20 years later.

That path often results in mediocre successes. A singular focus on academics is often detrimental.

The well adjusted kids who strike a balance beyond academics tend to be the truly successful ones.

.

100% agree with you on this.

I’m also the one who posted that the incoming students, particularly at 9th, tend to be academically very strong. I believe that some lifer families are making the decision to send their kid to a Big3 right off the bat because they fear they won't have an opportunity later and also the (hope) belief that their kid will be successful academically. I am pointing out the reality of the academic side. Look, I know loads of families send their kids because it’s convenient for them, they went there, blah blah blah. But, I still believe there is a cohort driven by fear and delusion.

[Anonymous]

We have two kids at Beauvoir and we selected the school in part because of the benefit to STA and NCS applications. I am not sold on those schools being the right fit for either of my kids though. I think that if you go the "Big 3", then you should really hold yourself accountable to checking in and seeing if the school you choose at prek is the right at 6th and 9th etc. I went to a NYC private school mentioned on this board and joined at 6th grade. There were lifers who were excellent students, and a handful that weren't really at the same level as the rest of the class, and everyone knew it. Most of those girls ended up with good college outcomes and are very happy, however there were a few that really struggled being outpaced in high school and really struggled with mental health. One (a friend of mine) finally convinced her parents to let her transfer for 10th grade to a less academically rigorous school that was a much better fit. She's doing great. If her parents were actually trying to meet her where she was, they would have allowed her to transfer earlier. They were really into the idea that she would excel at the same school her mom went to (and her grandmother before that). She just wasn't that kid and that's okay. One of her daughters is actually at the school that wasn't a good fit (the academic school), and another daughter is at a public performing arts school.

I have been very impressed with the Beauvoir parents who are openly talking about how STA and NCS aren't good fits for their kids and why. Success doesn't look the same for everyone.

[Anonymous]

If you are worried about them being in the top xx% of the class due to college placement if you are unhooked, look at who makes the "honor society" junior year and how many of them are lifers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lock it in early, OP. If you can afford 39 x $60k, go for it. The lifer’s life is easy street. No competition till college admissions. It’s a gift.

No place around here is charging anywhere near $60,000 for lower or middle school.

[Anonymous]

K to 12

Never again would I do a k to 8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lock it in early, OP. If you can afford 39 x $60k, go for it. The lifer’s life is easy street. No competition till college admissions. It’s a gift.

No place around here is charging anywhere near $60,000 for lower or middle school.

Oh, they will. OP’s kids are young.

Sidwell’s tuition was $40k in 2018. It’s $57k this year for MS and US. STA: $45k in 2018, $55k in 2023. Holton in 2018 was $40k, $53k in 2024.

Just wait. They’ll get there.

[Anonymous]

I'm a PK-12 lifer from a Big 3, who is a parent of a rising K and we didn't pick a PK/K-12 when we were picking last year. My PK-12 ended up not being a great fit for me in high school but it was a "good enough" fit and it would have been hard to leave at the end of 8th. The school was not supportive of kids like me that were doing well academically leaving even if the kid felt like it wasn't a good fit. I could hack it academically but only with extreme effort on my part that made me fairly miserable but I got good grades. I didn't want that to happen to my kid so we picked a PK-8 and we can reassess at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a PK-12 lifer from a Big 3, who is a parent of a rising K and we didn't pick a PK/K-12 when we were picking last year. My PK-12 ended up not being a great fit for me in high school but it was a "good enough" fit and it would have been hard to leave at the end of 8th. The school was not supportive of kids like me that were doing well academically leaving even if the kid felt like it wasn't a good fit. I could hack it academically but only with extreme effort on my part that made me fairly miserable but I got good grades. I didn't want that to happen to my kid so we picked a PK-8 and we can reassess at that point.

Were you at a PK-12 that was known for strong academics? We just chose a Pk-12 for our rising K for a few reasons, but one was that we though they would have more flexibility for high school, whether to leave or stay. The school we chose is good, but definitely not a Big 3 so I'm hoping we don't have a similar experience.