Atheists - how do you respond when someone asks you to pray for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

This is the answer.
Thank you for showing that you don’t have to be Christian or subscribe to any religion at all in order to be a compassionate human.
-signed Bible-believing Christian

Completely agree.
-signed atheist

Another atheist here. This is what I do. I'm "Christian" (in quotes because that's how I grew up/was baptized). My atheist/Jewish friend does the same. He considers himself culturally Jewish and religiously atheist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not a religious person but I think a lot. I will keep you in my thoughts.”

There is absolutely no reason to say this to someone in mourning. It's not about you or whether or not you are religious. Just offer kind words of support and leave out the subtle jab and debate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A colleague I know recently lost their spouse, suddenly. They're a very religious person (Christian). I have compassion for what they're going through and know that they're experiencing a lot of tough emotions - and I certainly wish them peace.

But I do not believe in any gods. I do not pray, nor do I think it does anything whatsoever.

So I don't know how to respond when they ask me to keep them in my prayers. Obviously it's not respectful to say "I don't believe in prayer" at a time when someone's suffered a loss and is grieving, but at the same time saying "yes" or "I will" is completely disingenuous and dishonest.

Fellow atheists - how do you respond? Do you just say "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Or something else?

NP. Sometimes I wonder how some of you get through the world on a daily basis. This is not hard.

“I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and heart. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Optionally, something I do because I have candles and I use them for meditation at times: “I’ll light a candle in his memory.” It’s something that is often appreciated by people who are religious.

You could also just say prayers. What is a prayer but a whispered wish out to the universe? Nobody in grief is going to be fighting over definitions. I’ve stood under the stars before and thought about lost loved ones before; how is that not a prayer in the face of the immensity of the world? Prayers don’t require divinity, they require intention and love.

I like this. I wish more people thought like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

I say "I don't pray". It elicits surprise, but I also think that it makes the person asking realize that it's not the wisest question to ask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I say a prayer anyway, just like throwing salt over my shoulder though I'm aware of the origin and know, no bad luck will befall me if I don't. A moment of honoring someone dear to you's beliefs is fine by me but I'm solidly in the side of those who don't want to rock the boat.

I do the same, a private moment to offer positive thoughts and wishes. Nothing wrong with putting a wish out in the universe. If nothing else the verbalization makes you feel that wish more sincerely and maybe even act on it to help ease someone’s suffering.

This is a beautiful kindness. Thank you for helping someone in pain.

[Anonymous]

"I will definitely do what I can. This is such a hard thing to face, and I'm so sorry you are going through it."

[Anonymous]

Naw dawg

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

I say "I don't pray". It elicits surprise, but I also think that it makes the person asking realize that it's not the wisest question to ask

Because someone who's in pain needs you to provoke them with surprise and a challenge about whether their question is wise. You must be so proud of yourself.

[Anonymous]

That's really not the situation to get into a religious debate.

I've worked around the world with people of many faiths and I will always respond in kind. No one actually thinks I'm that particular religion, it's just simple respect during someone's time of need

[Anonymous]

Cmon man. Just be polite. It’s their world and Jesus is the center of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not a religious person but I think a lot. I will keep you in my thoughts.”

There is absolutely no reason to say this to someone in mourning. It's not about you or whether or not you are religious. Just offer kind words of support and leave out the subtle jab and debate.

DP - Doesn't seem like a jab or debate to me. Just honesty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

I say "I don't pray". It elicits surprise, but I also think that it makes the person asking realize that it's not the wisest question to ask

Because someone who's in pain needs you to provoke them with surprise and a challenge about whether their question is wise. You must be so proud of yourself.

Not proud -- honest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cmon man. Just be polite. It’s their world and Jesus is the center of it.

Maybe -- Jesus isn't the only Diety that people pray to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

The second definition of prayer in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: an earnest request or wish. So not sure what you even mean that you would be lying? Are you incapable of sending out a wish to the universe for them? What exactly is the problem with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

Exactly. I’m an atheist, not an a-hole.