Atheists - how do you respond when someone asks you to pray for them?

[Anonymous]

A colleague I know recently lost their spouse, suddenly. They're a very religious person (Christian). I have compassion for what they're going through and know that they're experiencing a lot of tough emotions - and I certainly wish them peace.

But I do not believe in any gods. I do not pray, nor do I think it does anything whatsoever.

So I don't know how to respond when they ask me to keep them in my prayers. Obviously it's not respectful to say "I don't believe in prayer" at a time when someone's suffered a loss and is grieving, but at the same time saying "yes" or "I will" is completely disingenuous and dishonest.

Fellow atheists - how do you respond? Do you just say "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Or something else?

[Anonymous]

Yep. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you. Let me know if you'd like to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

[Anonymous]

I've actually never had someone tell me to pray for them - usually it's the other way around.

What I normally say is something like "you'll be in my thoughts". I'm not going to tell someone "ok!11!! I'll go pray for you!" but I also don't think its necessary to get into my personal beliefs vs yours when there is something bigger going on (ie lost spouse).

[Anonymous]

I also say things like "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Don't over think this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts are with you and your family.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also say things like "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Don't over think this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

If course it's the right call, because it's the most compassionate option. Don't make it about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

This is the answer.
Thank you for showing that you don’t have to be Christian or subscribe to any religion at all in order to be a compassionate human.
-signed Bible-believing Christian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

This is the answer.
Thank you for showing that you don’t have to be Christian or subscribe to any religion at all in order to be a compassionate human.
-signed Bible-believing Christian

Completely agree.
-signed atheist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

I'm not saying to get into it, but being dishonest also doesn't seem like the right call.

If course it's the right call, because it's the most compassionate option. Don't make it about you.

Exactly.
That’s also why a conservative fundamentalist who fully believes that homosexuality is sinful should still say “congratulations! I wish you every happiness!” when their gay friend or coworker announces they are getting married!
It’s not about you.
It’s about sharing in someone’s sorrow or sharing in someone’s joy. Just be kind and do no harm.

[Anonymous]

You know, I say a prayer anyway, just like throwing salt over my shoulder though I'm aware of the origin and know, no bad luck will befall me if I don't. A moment of honoring someone dear to you's beliefs is fine by me but I'm solidly in the side of those who don't want to rock the boat.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the exact situation I definitely could find myself in the “absolutely…” camp but it’s also not that hard to supply a compassionate answer that dodges the prayer part. Anything along the lines of “oh Helen, you know my thoughts are with you” to “I am so so sorry Helen. I really wish your family peace and healing” to “Helen, be well my dear friend” to “I wish you nothing less than a speedy recover and strength to get through this” are all perfectly fine responses to “pray for me” depending on the situation.