Atheists - how do you respond when someone asks you to pray for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I say a prayer anyway, just like throwing salt over my shoulder though I'm aware of the origin and know, no bad luck will befall me if I don't. A moment of honoring someone dear to you's beliefs is fine by me but I'm solidly in the side of those who don't want to rock the boat.

I do the same, a private moment to offer positive thoughts and wishes. Nothing wrong with putting a wish out in the universe. If nothing else the verbalization makes you feel that wish more sincerely and maybe even act on it to help ease someone’s suffering.

[Anonymous]

"I'll be holding you in the light"

[Anonymous]

"I'm absolutely rooting for you. Sending you and your husband healthy vibes." Stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts are with you and your family.

This or something similar.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the "of course" posters. What does it matter that my "prayers" will actually be thoughts of comfort and empathy?

[Anonymous]

Another "of course" atheist. I work in a neonatal ICU, and I have even, on rare occasions, performed a baptism with the clergy on FaceTime. (This has only come up when the parents request a ritual, and I normally explain I am not Christian but can do the physical parts while we call a clergy of their choice to offer prayer). I've certainly held parents' hands while they pray. Because it's not about me in these moments.

[Anonymous]

“I’m not a religious person but I think a lot. I will keep you in my thoughts.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A colleague I know recently lost their spouse, suddenly. They're a very religious person (Christian). I have compassion for what they're going through and know that they're experiencing a lot of tough emotions - and I certainly wish them peace.

But I do not believe in any gods. I do not pray, nor do I think it does anything whatsoever.

So I don't know how to respond when they ask me to keep them in my prayers. Obviously it's not respectful to say "I don't believe in prayer" at a time when someone's suffered a loss and is grieving, but at the same time saying "yes" or "I will" is completely disingenuous and dishonest.

Fellow atheists - how do you respond? Do you just say "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Or something else?

NP. Sometimes I wonder how some of you get through the world on a daily basis. This is not hard.

“I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and heart. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Optionally, something I do because I have candles and I use them for meditation at times: “I’ll light a candle in his memory.” It’s something that is often appreciated by people who are religious.

You could also just say prayers. What is a prayer but a whispered wish out to the universe? Nobody in grief is going to be fighting over definitions. I’ve stood under the stars before and thought about lost loved ones before; how is that not a prayer in the face of the immensity of the world? Prayers don’t require divinity, they require intention and love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another "of course" atheist. I work in a neonatal ICU, and I have even, on rare occasions, performed a baptism with the clergy on FaceTime. (This has only come up when the parents request a ritual, and I normally explain I am not Christian but can do the physical parts while we call a clergy of their choice to offer prayer). I've certainly held parents' hands while they pray. Because it's not about me in these moments.

Bless you for your kindness and work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always just say "absolutely, I'm so sorry you're going through this."

Why get into it? The time someone is in pain is not the time to be like "god isn't real."

This is the answer.
Thank you for showing that you don’t have to be Christian or subscribe to any religion at all in order to be a compassionate human.
-signed Bible-believing Christian

Another vote for this response. The posters trying to be coy and who are perhaps visibly uncomfortable in front of the widow/er are just making it about themselves.

[Anonymous]

You say yes, obviously. Don’t make this about you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I just replace the word "prayer" with thoughts or vibes.

[Anonymous]

"I'm honored to enlist in your Thoughts and Prayers Army, Special Ops Division T".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I’m not a religious person but I think a lot. I will keep you in my thoughts.”

"I don't think a lot, but of course I'll keep you in my thoughts. You're important."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A colleague I know recently lost their spouse, suddenly. They're a very religious person (Christian). I have compassion for what they're going through and know that they're experiencing a lot of tough emotions - and I certainly wish them peace.

But I do not believe in any gods. I do not pray, nor do I think it does anything whatsoever.

So I don't know how to respond when they ask me to keep them in my prayers. Obviously it's not respectful to say "I don't believe in prayer" at a time when someone's suffered a loss and is grieving, but at the same time saying "yes" or "I will" is completely disingenuous and dishonest.

Fellow atheists - how do you respond? Do you just say "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Or something else?

I explain to them that they are silly for believing fairy tells about magical births of a guy who became a zombie.

No, that’s just how I silently judge them and their weak minds. Usually I just nod and tell them I will keep them in my thoughts