Does life become amazing and easy once kids are off to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

How on earth do you think you’re going to manage close supervision when he lives at college away from you and is now also a legal adult whose information and records you won’t be privy to?

Smart parents get legal power of attorney for their young adult children. Most parents in my neighborhood have done this. (Not PP)

I would be surprised if parents are getting full legal power of attorney like you do with your elderly parent who is starting to have dementia, so you can sign enforceable contracts on their behalf.

It is common to have kids agree to a Medical Power of Attorney so that your parent can make medical decisions especially if there is an emergency medical situation.

We are getting full. You never know when a crisis will occur. I'm paying the tuition bill - I'm having access.

Just curious for an example of a crisis that isn’t medical where you need to be able to bind your kid to a contract possibly without them even knowing.

That sounds awful. Somehow boomers went to college without their parents taking away their adult rights but gen whatever doesn’t get the same consideration? How many millennials had parents that did this? I’m an elder millennial and never heard of this in my peer group - even after Napster lawsuits lol. I’m fine with medical power of attorney but full??? Why

I am PP and not doing this with my kids nor do I know anyone doing it with their kids. Medical is one thing.

Quite honestly…you read about parents doing shady stuff in the name of their kids who do things like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need to know. Near the finish line with two rising seniors and stress levels are high.

This should not be stressful or hard unless they are having mental health/drug issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

I have a rising college sophomore and I don’t worry about this stuff. I think a lot of this depends on your personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine how much time back I will have!! First off to college this year- second in two years.

It’s just the meals and juggling family calendar and appointments and sports blah blah. I am hanging on by a thread in my real job.

Those before and after work hours are going to be so peaceful.

Yes, right now everything is drudgery. Clean, work, clean and cook, deal with issues of the day with teens, their moods if they are home, collapse in bed, repeat. It feels busier than younger years in a way, and more mentally exhausting.

Thank you for putting this into words! I am glad I am not alone. I will miss my kid horribly but am so looking forward to being able to use the time after work as I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

Same here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

I have a rising college sophomore and I don’t worry about this stuff. I think a lot of this depends on your personality.

Out of sight out of mind.

My mom said they only worried when we were home on breaks and would go out...and she'd listen for us coming in, etc.

When we were off at college--no idea what we were up to or how late we were out or how often. They taught us well---gave us all the usual info and warnings about 'open containers'...don't accept random open container drinks--someone could slip something in, go out with friends/group, don't walk alone late at night or jog or hike in woods alone, etc, etc, etc.....And kids will live and learn and you hope make good choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

Same here

Oh god. I am a TOTAL over-analyzer. My brain goes non-stop. I go to worst case scenario a lot of time...but I have zero of those ^ worries. No worries when kids are away. My oldest is 'old' for the grade, will turn 19 end of September as a Fall bday cutoff so he is more than ready to be on his own, and well prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

Same here

Oh god. I am a TOTAL over-analyzer. My brain goes non-stop. I go to worst case scenario a lot of time...but I have zero of those ^ worries. No worries when kids are away. My oldest is 'old' for the grade, will turn 19 end of September as a Fall bday cutoff so he is more than ready to be on his own, and well prepared.

I am the original PP of that post this person responded to. My kids did fine by the way, as I mostly knew they would. Didn't mean I didn't worry. Did it occupy my mind all day, absolutely not. But am I just forgetting about them while they are not here, no.

[Anonymous]

I have a different perspective. I hope life continues to be amazing and easy once the kids go off to college. I know parenting can be tough and we've had our share of challenges (who hasn't!) but most of it has been so fun and amazing. I don't know if we just got lucky with just easygoing and laidback kids or if it's all in our perspective but I have enjoyed every phase of their childhood and experiencing life through their eyes. Our oldest is a rising junior and our goal, of course, is to successfully launch all of our kids but, to be honest, I dread the day he goes off to college. So I have the opposite fear that our life won't be quite as amazing without our family together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a different perspective. I hope life continues to be amazing and easy once the kids go off to college. I know parenting can be tough and we've had our share of challenges (who hasn't!) but most of it has been so fun and amazing. I don't know if we just got lucky with just easygoing and laidback kids or if it's all in our perspective but I have enjoyed every phase of their childhood and experiencing life through their eyes. Our oldest is a rising junior and our goal, of course, is to successfully launch all of our kids but, to be honest, I dread the day he goes off to college. So I have the opposite fear that our life won't be quite as amazing without our family together.

🤮

[Anonymous]

I feel like my 18 years with each of three kids went so fast. I miss them but don't miss the work of cooking and cleaning, and 'the mental load'. Sad they’re out of the house but really enjoy the time when we're together now. I love them as adults too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's great actually. Much better then I thought!

omg.. I can't wait. We have two more years to go until youngest DC goes off to college.

[Anonymous]

Life got great when they got themselves to middle school and back. I think I had to go to school twice to drop something off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only imagine how much time back I will have!! First off to college this year- second in two years.

It’s just the meals and juggling family calendar and appointments and sports blah blah. I am hanging on by a thread in my real job.

Those before and after work hours are going to be so peaceful.

Yes, right now everything is drudgery. Clean, work, clean and cook, deal with issues of the day with teens, their moods if they are home, collapse in bed, repeat. It feels busier than younger years in a way, and more mentally exhausting.

Thank you for putting this into words! I am glad I am not alone. I will miss my kid horribly but am so looking forward to being able to use the time after work as I want.

I actually think older teen years are easier than when they are young, but WE are just old and tired. And we need a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

How on earth do you think you’re going to manage close supervision when he lives at college away from you and is now also a legal adult whose information and records you won’t be privy to?

Smart parents get legal power of attorney for their young adult children. Most parents in my neighborhood have done this. (Not PP)

I would be surprised if parents are getting full legal power of attorney like you do with your elderly parent who is starting to have dementia, so you can sign enforceable contracts on their behalf.

It is common to have kids agree to a Medical Power of Attorney so that your parent can make medical decisions especially if there is an emergency medical situation.

We are getting full. You never know when a crisis will occur. I'm paying the tuition bill - I'm having access.

Just curious for an example of a crisis that isn’t medical where you need to be able to bind your kid to a contract possibly without them even knowing.

That sounds awful. Somehow boomers went to college without their parents taking away their adult rights but gen whatever doesn’t get the same consideration? How many millennials had parents that did this? I’m an elder millennial and never heard of this in my peer group - even after Napster lawsuits lol. I’m fine with medical power of attorney but full??? Why

Why would you even need medical? As parents, won’t we automatically be next of kin with right to make decisions?