Does life become amazing and easy once kids are off to college?

[Anonymous]

I need to know. Near the finish line with two rising seniors and stress levels are high.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it calms down. The first visit and summer home had a few bumps, but by the time they are 20, parenting becomes less worrisome and anxiety ridden.

Hang on for two more years.

[Anonymous]

If you can...drop the kids off to college and take a vacation. Take advantage of off-season rates to decompress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can...drop the kids off to college and take a vacation. Take advantage of off-season rates to decompress.

I wish I could go this but after paying for college, I don’t have anything left. I always laugh when people suggest this.

Your kids will have long summers in college so they’ll be back!

[Anonymous]

I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. It’s great. I was miserable for the first two weeks after my child left, and then the benefits outweighed missing him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

Good luck. Our kid was similar and we had almost no communication from him once he left. Anxiety provoking in its own way. I think you can take your vacation but I get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

His college should have mental health services, I would quickly get him connected into those. It is good for him to start accessing his own support services and they are well versed in college aged issues.

[Anonymous]

Last year, after 18 years of parenting a child with special needs, dropping him off at college was terrifying yet liberating. I had so much free time! Nothing untoward happened, because I had closely supervised his meeting with the Disability Office the summer before he moved in, and the year was uneventful, apart from stressful miscommunications over his exam accommodations at the end of each semester.

And now he's back for the summer, has a job, and has grown in independence since his senior year of college. His executive function is not perfect, not by a LONG shot, but so much better than it used to be.

So yes, you miss your kid but life is comparatively simpler.

[Anonymous]

Answer will depend on mental health of your child and their ability to fend for self. If no immediate red flags and child has been self-sufficient for last couple years anyway, you are likely good to go. If mental health concerns and have not been self-sufficient, different story could unfold. Agree with above poster to make sure student knows student health options at school and to set clear expectations for your child going into college for what happens if start using drugs or alcohol to detriment of grades, etc.

[Anonymous]

it is easier? depends. In terms of time spent ferrying kids, worrying about day to day stuff, yes much. You have nothing but free time when they leave (which I hate). But there always seems to be something to worry about with kids, even college kids. For me, I worried would my introverted DS find friends? Would my extraverted DD party too much or get her heart broken (which it did many times). Will they stay away from drug and stay focused on school? Will they be safe? will they get a good internship, will they get a good job, where will they live after graduation? The worries never really end but it is much less part of your minute by minute reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

We’re in the same boat. My anxiety levels are off the chart this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid leaving for college in the fall. I anticipate he will still need a close parental eye for at least the first semester (prone to anxiety, extreme introvert, some new self harming behaviors) to make sure he does not go off the rails and has the support he needs.

DH and I were going to take a LONG awaited solo vacation in Sept, but now feel like we need to stay relatively close 'just in case.'
(DS is going to school about 90m away.)

Kids transitioning to college can be rough in ways different from them living at home.

His college should have mental health services, I would quickly get him connected into those. It is good for him to start accessing his own support services and they are well versed in college aged issues.

I am a therapist and very adept on knowing signs/getting services and teaching my kid how to get services/advocate for himself. He and I even looked yesterday to see if he could go to the counseling center at his university before school starts vs trying to schedule with his old therapist (he stopped seeing her a year or so ago when things had evened out.) And he already has an appointment with the disability office to get some accommodations (mostly for his learning differences.)

[Anonymous]

It's great actually. Much better then I thought!

[Anonymous]

For my parents, I would say no. Firstly, because they didn't have good communication skills and fought ALL the time. That wasn't magically the fault of us kids. Secondly, once we were gone, there was nobody to clean the house but them, and my mom wouldn't do it, so it all fell to my dad who was working a full time job. Which increased his stress which increased their fighting.