If you like your husband, what are you doing for Father’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Dinner at a new restaurant with a menu that caters to his likes (mostly vegetarian). A card and small gift from each of us (consumables in categories he loves, this is affordable enough that our teens can each buy something with their own money). That’s it! He’ll be happy and I’m happy with something similar for mother’s day.

[Anonymous]

I have to work in the morning, which makes me feel terrible. But later in the day, we’re going to grill things and have had a special item made with him and the kids printed on it. Also a spa day (fancy barber) gift certificate, and a joke certificate for hassle free hour long bathroom scrolling session. 😂 we’ll probably improvise as we go for day of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is bourbon.

It’s the perfect size!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I feel like we have most everything we could ever want. Every day feels like a holiday or a birthday. We don't do anything special. Sometimes we'll go out as a family to lunch or dinner the day before so we don't have to deal with crowds and reservations.

[Anonymous]

Hoping for a decent blowjob that's all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's going on a golf weekend with friends.

He'll be home Sunday and we'll grill steaks.

So, I guess the question is what his other family is doing for him on Father's Day?

[Anonymous]

We are going boating, his request (we live by the water). I helped the kids select three gifts for him, and ordered some catering (I’m not a good cook but we’ll eat at home).

[Anonymous]

Brunch at a casual outdoor restaurant, a little walk/hike with our upper teens/younger 20somethings, then probably steak for dinner. I'll get him a couple of small things.

[Anonymous]

I love my husband. We dont do a big deal for either mothers day or fathers day. Kids will male a car and ill tell them to be nice and not whiny. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol he's the father of your kids whether or not you like him.

And no, this should not be a tit-for-tat situation "he just phoned it in on Mother's Day, I'm not going to exert myself for Father's Day." Be better than that.

Why? Honest question. If fathers can not "be better" than phoning it in, than why should women do more? I think matching energy is a great way to balance things. If he wants a big deal on Father's day, the best way to get it is to make a big deal on mother's day. If no one cares, great (that's my marriage). But there's no real reason it should be lopsided either.

Such a weird mentality. For starters, neither of you are each other's parent. And then, bean counting kills marriages.

But if one person does nothing, why shouldn't the other person feel ok with also doing nothing? I'd argue NOT ever paying attention to who is paying all the emotional "beans" results in one partner feeling taken advantage of.

I think communicating about what you'd like and doing that together is the best way. That's what we do. But I watch a lot of women feel burned on Mother's day turn around and pamper their spouses for Father's day and then eventually feel emotionally neglected. If the pampering gives you joy, by all means do it. But if it doesn't, and instead leaves you feeling like a martyr, skip it. And then talk about why you skipped it.

I agree. And it applies to lots of things too. Sometimes men (and some women) are just clueless about what should actually be done, and they are either dumping it onto the other spouse or damaging the relationship by not cultivating love. But other times we are sort of making unnecessary work for ourselves. It's not a matter of bean counting, it's a matter of focusing energy on what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just looking to see what other people are doing. I don’t think it’s as standard as the Mother’s Day brunch.

Giving a hall pass to use whenever

[Anonymous]

planning on a hike, but he's down with covid right now so we will see.
got a few presents (gym shorts that he needs, a new set of knives) and helped kids gets some things.

[Anonymous]

He asked me what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day, I answered pretty clearly I thought (see my mom and not cook - don’t care if we eat out, get take out or he cooks, I just don’t want to do it). We did that and my kids did a few things that they came up with too (which I loved).

I have been asking what he wants to do for weeks (our sort of usual thing is not an option this year) and he seems annoyed I have asked. I ran two ideas for gifts that the kids came up with by him because they were more than he wanted to spend and he didn’t want them. Sounds like the kids came up with something and he either wants to sit or at least didn’t want to say no to them. So we are doing that. I will buy something random out of obligation that he probably won’t like that much but the kids will be sad if we don’t get him something. He told me, not in front of the kids, he might work some. I am sort of dreading it. Some years are fine or even very nice this one feels crappy.

The idea of special sex for Father’s Day is very weird to me.

[Anonymous]

I’m taking him to my favorite buffet instead of having the boys make him a breakfast of unrecognizable foods like he did for mothers day

[Anonymous]

I’m taking both my husband and father to a nationals game. I will get them both gifts and serve dinner that night at my home. My mom will also be with us.