At what point does your happiness outweigh the happiness of your kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Total bull....There we go again just because women file for divorce 70% of the time they are always right give me a break.. Signed dad with full custody of his 3 kids |
Anonymous
Exactly. Ashley Madison is full of these women who selfishly live and die by the “if I’m happy my kids will be happy” while ultimately it’s about THEM. Then they blow up the family and the kids are effed up forevermore. All fir some rando D. |
Anonymous
|
If there’s serious issues likes abuse, it’s no question. You need to protect yourself and your kids.
If it’s minor issues, try marriage counseling, date nights etc. If you’re both unhappy or already in a “silent divorce,” the kids will know and/or think that’s what marriage should look like which isn’t good. Better to have two happy loving parents who demonstrate self respect and care than stay together miserable and not as your best self. |
Anonymous
|
There has to be a balance between everyone's happiness in a family but since parents are the one who decided to be together and procreate together, they have the legal and ethical responsibility to make things work for them. However, sometimes its just not possible, in that case aim should be to put egos aside and find ways to do healthy co-parenting.
|
Anonymous
. This |
Anonymous
Your children are learning by example that this is what a “healthy” relationship looks like. |
Anonymous
| What if you are severely depressed and have given up on yourself? Isn’t it better to remove yourself from the family unit. |
Anonymous
|
I grew up with parents who bickered and fought constantly. I wish they would have divorced instead of putting me in the middle and having them make digs at each other to me.
As a parent now, I don’t think staying together “for the kids” is doing them any favors for their mental health or modeling positive relationships. Staying together does have the benefit of providing more resources for your kids financially and having parents more available for activities, car pooling, etc. |
Anonymous
No, it’s time to grow up and be an adult. Get your depression treated, get in therapy, etc. |
Anonymous
I think it's best kids can learn that there's no one way to have a "healthy" relationship. Rigid thinking is the root of a lot of unhappiness. |
Anonymous
| What does this question even mean? Your kids well-being is important - but this doesn’t mean they’ll always be happy. Are you living the life you want to model for your kids? Living in alignment and integrity? Don’t foist your adult decisions onto your kids. |
Anonymous
| Op run and become one of the many fifty plus single women on these boards who thought they would be happy if only they dumped their husband and put themselves front and center. Go for it, I hope your husband and children find their happiness when you are gone. Go be selfish. |
Anonymous
This. Being a parent always requires sacrifice. Now sometimes there is a lot of correlation in that it’s darn hard for a kid to be happy if the mom is in an abusive situation, but you are kidding yourself that your kids will benefit if you wake up one day not feeling “fulfilled” by your spouse and deserve to be “happy” so you just leave. You fight for your marriage first before bi-bopping off to search for personal happiness. |
Anonymous
You think I haven’t been doing that? On meds for over 30 years. Meds have changed over time. Currently going to a therapist. Maybe some people can’t be “fixed.” My spouse says they cannot enjoy the twilight of their life due to my depression, no desire for sex or being touched and lack of wanting to do anything in general. |
Anonymous
Stop it. You’re a grown up. Don’t tell us you need to abandon your family and responsibilities to “work” on yourself. That is a cop out. Own your issues and refund your purpose in life as a parent and spouse and family member and friend. Don’t blow up the lives of everyone around you |