Are 8th grade girls always mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not universal, particularly if your child and their friend group do not strive to be popular.

This pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not universal, particularly if your child and their friend group do not strive to be popular.

This pretty much.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a generalization. My child and her friends were not like this. I am sure it happens, but not everywhere. I am so sorry for kids of both genders who have difficult middle school experiences.

It is everywhere. But most kids are not involved in it and don’t even know it’s happening.

Most kids are not involved? Sure most kids aren't involved in all the drama all the time but I've never seen a friend group not experience some drama. This just shows some people have no idea what goes on at school all day to be so clueless.

This! The other day I listed to the mother of the #1 mean, excluding girl wax poetic about beautiful friendships our kids are developing. She included me i.e. my kid there; I just don't think she has any idea about what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a generalization. My child and her friends were not like this. I am sure it happens, but not everywhere. I am so sorry for kids of both genders who have difficult middle school experiences.

It is everywhere. But most kids are not involved in it and don’t even know it’s happening.

Most kids are not involved? Sure most kids aren't involved in all the drama all the time but I've never seen a friend group not experience some drama. This just shows some people have no idea what goes on at school all day to be so clueless.

This! The other day I listed to the mother of the #1 mean, excluding girl wax poetic about beautiful friendships our kids are developing. She included me i.e. my kid there; I just don't think she has any idea about what is going on.

lol. Some mothers are woefully clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 7th at a K-8. I think
The dynamic is different because while the MS curriculum is different and class schedule is MS style it’s not a whole new school. Some kids come and go but generally we don’t have huge drama issues. There are different groups bif kids seem to mesh back and forth depending on who’s in their classes etc. Hopefully it won’t change next year.

Found a mean girl’s parent. ⬆️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 7th at a K-8. I think
The dynamic is different because while the MS curriculum is different and class schedule is MS style it’s not a whole new school. Some kids come and go but generally we don’t have huge drama issues. There are different groups bif kids seem to mesh back and forth depending on who’s in their classes etc. Hopefully it won’t change next year.

I also went to a (small) K-8 and everything OP describes is spot-on.

Ok, mean girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a generalization. My child and her friends were not like this. I am sure it happens, but not everywhere. I am so sorry for kids of both genders who have difficult middle school experiences.

It is everywhere. But most kids are not involved in it and don’t even know it’s happening.

Most kids are not involved? Sure most kids aren't involved in all the drama all the time but I've never seen a friend group not experience some drama. This just shows some people have no idea what goes on at school all day to be so clueless.

This! The other day I listed to the mother of the #1 mean, excluding girl wax poetic about beautiful friendships our kids are developing. She included me i.e. my kid there; I just don't think she has any idea about what is going on.

+2

[Anonymous]

Parents teach your DDs it's rude to only hang out with certain friends if they set something up. It should be a two way street. My DD is over it with some friends who never reach out to her.

[Anonymous]

It is really bad at that age. I'm sorry your child is in the thick of things. For DD they got better in 9th as the kids matured more.

The things DD went through were really mean. I'm talking openly making fun of her appearance in a room full of girls and boys, telling her to go home at gatherings and things like that by one particularly immature girl. We heard she's nicer now as she is struggling with her own issues - LDs in high school and poor grades.

[Anonymous]

It's funny someone is calling posters "mean girl mom" for pointing out that it varies from child to child. At my children's schools it's always the "mean girls" who have the most turbulent social lives, and not coincidentally they also have most permissive hands-off parents as well.

The dorky sheltered kids have way less drama because their parents don't let them out of sight very much and don't let them have phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not universal, particularly if your child and their friend group do not strive to be popular.

This pretty much.

Even the smart, nerdy girls can be mean and have friend drama. A girl with good grades who had a reputation for being a nice kid spread rumors about my DD and when my daughter reported it, the administration sided with the mean girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 11th grade girl and no, we’ve never had to deal with this. Have you read queen bees and wannabes? If your kid is around that group or wants to be, yes, there’s drama. If your kid avoids the drama, there are plenty of girls who don’t act like that. Teach your kid that if someone is being purposefully mean, they’re not your friend - she should seek out other friends who are kind.

But I will say some of it is also just humans being social beings - I’ve heard girls and moms complain of mean girl behavior, but the details of the story are just the other girl not acting the way the mom or girl thinks she should act.

No, it's not just the popular girls who do this. It can happen within any friend group.

My DD went through something similar in 8th grade. HS is much better, but she has PTSD from the awful 8th grade experience. They basically stopped her from eating lunch with them, or talking to her. Real mean girl social bullying shlt. It had nothing to do with what clothes she wore or any material things. It was a power play because she didn't want to do what the alpha girl wanted.

These girls are not part of the in crowd.

This also happened to me in MS back in the 80s, and we were not part of the in crowd.

[Anonymous]

My DD is low-drama and found a group of very nice, low-drama friends. Hope your DD can do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not universal, particularly if your child and their friend group do not strive to be popular.

This pretty much.

+1 million

I agree with this as well. Meanness seems to be about insecure and jockeying for potion. Some kids just don’t care about all that.

I am always baffled by these posts and questions? Is everyone mean in 8th grade? OP, Is your daughter mean? Were you mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is low-drama and found a group of very nice, low-drama friends. Hope your DD can do the same.

Again, nothing to do with low-drama. Sometimes socially inept low-drama kids can cause the most pain because they don't know how to mesh new friends with old friends or friends from music with friends from soccer and so on...it can be painful.