Divorce, friends and Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

I'm a former single Mom with lots of single Mom friends. A single Mom friend would always be welcome. My only hesitation being proactive is that I wouldn't want her to feel bad on Mother's Day that I have a husband and she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

I always send my mom friends Mother's Day texts and I always try to get the single moms little gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. My STBX is a better ex than he was a husband. He’s never been good at gift giving, but he would never want our kids to feel bad about having nothing to give me on Mother’s Day. He makes sure I don’t have to cook on Mother’s Day or my birthday and the kids have gifts to give me on gift giving occasions. I make sure he is celebrated on his birthday and Father’s Day and receives gifts too. It’s for our kids, so they get to experience normal family related events.

When I separated, I had one friend who made standing offers of help and another friend who started celebrating me at every holiday. I get treat bags from her all throughout the year. She’s extra thoughtful. I don’t have any friends who are unmarried, but if I did, I’d be happy to take their kids shopping for gifts for special occasions. Maybe start asking friends in advance.

Is he still single and angling for a return?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. My STBX is a better ex than he was a husband. He’s never been good at gift giving, but he would never want our kids to feel bad about having nothing to give me on Mother’s Day. He makes sure I don’t have to cook on Mother’s Day or my birthday and the kids have gifts to give me on gift giving occasions. I make sure he is celebrated on his birthday and Father’s Day and receives gifts too. It’s for our kids, so they get to experience normal family related events.

When I separated, I had one friend who made standing offers of help and another friend who started celebrating me at every holiday. I get treat bags from her all throughout the year. She’s extra thoughtful. I don’t have any friends who are unmarried, but if I did, I’d be happy to take their kids shopping for gifts for special occasions. Maybe start asking friends in advance.

Is he still single and angling for a return?

Definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Mothers Day isn't really a holiday you celebrate with anyone but family. And I say this as a single mom. This year I actually have my daughter on Mother's Day. Last year I didn't, so my friends and I went to a kid-free winery and it was awesome so now I'm thinking damn, I should have planned that for this year too.

But my point stands that this is a family holiday and your friends aren't on the hook to hang with you. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A. Why in God's name would the person you are divorcing lift a finger to celebrate you?

B. Why would your friends celebrate YOUR motherhood?

The entitlement is beyond belief!!! Is this why you couldn't get along with your husband?

My goodness.

I’m not sure why you feel bad that your ex is not celebrating you. Also don’t know why you would expect your friends to make plans with you or even think about you on Mother’s Day.

I send and get some happy Mother’s Day texts on Mother’s Day. That’s about it from my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always send my mom friends Mother's Day texts and I always try to get the single moms little gifts.

I always am creeped out about all the mom friends sending each other Mother’s day texts. It’s weird to me, but I reply so not to be rude. It’s a family thing to me.

[Anonymous]

WTH are you talking about? Mother’s Day is about mothers being with their kids (if they want to) and celebrating however they want, relaxing or whatever. It is NOT National Friends Day. Get over yourself.

I am there for my friends and family a lot. I listen, I take time, I sacrifice, I move things around, my time and energy goes to them even when I don’t have a lot to give.

Guess what? Today is about ME and mine and it is not yet another Woman Sacrificing Herself Day. It’s the opposite of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 😳 at some of these responses. Including those assuming I initiated the divorce. Ha.

I never said it was anyone’s responsibility. I said I felt sad because my XDH didn’t do anything, my kids are too little to do anything themselves, and so I have no one else checking in. I feel forgotten.

Thanks for the empathy from some posters. And thanks to those suggesting I take things into my own hands. I’ve been obviously needing to do that more in life but this example hit me hard. Still, I appreciate the push.

They’re “checking in” on their own mothers. And they are receiving love and plans and time and attention from their own kids. Which is what the day is all about. This is not yet another day for Women Supporting Women or Women Giving Yet More. You should want your friends to enjoy their day, relax, and spend it however they want. Which, sorry, is not supporting and checking in on friends yet again, some more.

[Anonymous]

For 364 days a year, I am That Friend who checks in, follows up, makes plans, recognizes what others are going through. How about one day a year where I can honestly just enjoy my day, relax and spend time with my family?

Women really are expected to constantly give, give, give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always send my mom friends Mother's Day texts and I always try to get the single moms little gifts.

I always am creeped out about all the mom friends sending each other Mother’s day texts. It’s weird to me, but I reply so not to be rude. It’s a family thing to me.[b]

+100

Your own mom, grandmother, daughter, etc., but wishes and celebrations with others is plain weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always send my mom friends Mother's Day texts and I always try to get the single moms little gifts.

I always am creeped out about all the mom friends sending each other Mother’s day texts. It’s weird to me, but I reply so not to be rude. It’s a family thing to me.[b]

+100

Your own mom, grandmother, daughter, etc., but wishes and celebrations with others is plain weird.

^ and wife

[Anonymous]

My teen sons walked to the bakery on my husbands suggestion while I was still in bed. Gave me handmade cards (xerox psoer and cupcakes. I ate a red velvet cream cheese cupcake in bed with the latte my husband made. Perfect.

Done. We will order out for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always send my mom friends Mother's Day texts and I always try to get the single moms little gifts.

I always am creeped out about all the mom friends sending each other Mother’s day texts. It’s weird to me, but I reply so not to be rude. It’s a family thing to me.[b]

+100

Your own mom, grandmother, daughter, etc., but wishes and celebrations with others is plain weird.

NP who AGREES. I put my phone on silent and don’t respond to the attention-seekers who try to make today more than it is. I call my mom and send a gift, I have a quiet, fun celebration at home with my family. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

This is a good reminder to check in with my single friends! It takes zero effort to be kind! I’m surprised so many people are being mean, OP!