Do you think most athletes were pushed by parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean people who become elite athletes? It is almost always a combination of motivated child and motivated parent.

I don’t necessarily mean D1 or future pro athletes.

I was thinking about the kids we know who do gymnastics or hockey. I have a friend whose daughter has done gymnastics her entire life since she was in preschool. She did cartwheels and handstands when she was in early elementary but I don’t remember her being any different than other girls doing gymnastics. At some point, she was going to gymnastics all the time and the family would be tied up many weekends, often times traveling for various tournaments. The parents don’t seem academically focused but all in on her gymnastics. On the other hand, we know another girl who is very bright and generally very athletic. She also does some cartwheels and basic stuff. The mom told me the girl begs the parents for gymnastics but the parents are busy with work and her brother’s spoet. There is no way this girl can learn and train by herself without parent support. If her parents were as dedicated as the other friend we have, I don’t doubt this girl could also have been a great gymnast.

The kids we know who play sports all the time are used to the lifestyle. There are so many different sports where families revolve around all things baseball or basketball. We know a kid whose parents are divorced who loves basketball. His parents don’t drive him anywhere and definitely no skills training for him. Does he really have a shot against those kids who have been training since they could walk? Sure he is athletic but so is everyone else who plays basketball.

What you just described isn't pushing. You described parents who have the bandwidth and desire to support sports interests (versus other interests) that their kids have. Totally, totally different than the kids I know who are signed up for sports by their parents, mom is always going on and on about how little Larla wants to play in high school, but Larla clearly could not care less about practices or games and puts in no work outside of practice and does the bare minimum at practice (or less!).

[Anonymous]

Gymnastics parent here. It is very parent-driven in gymnastics. My DD is considered very good in our state but average to below-average at her gym.

The "best" girls in her workout group are legit prodigies. But they also happen to have insanely pushy parents. You wouldn't know it from a brief encounter, because they are careful to follow the script that it's all led by their child and their child wasn't happy doing anything else. As you get to know the girls, you realize that there are a lot of layers of truth beyond what's said out loud. Of the 20 in my daughter's current level, 4-5 of them are self-driven and dragging the parents along for the ride.

The rest are either begging to quit, going along with workouts halfheartedly and milking injuries, or working very hard because their parents berate them in the parking lot or the back hallways of the convention center where the meet is held (I'm middle-aged and graying and invisible to all, so I hear a lot). The girls don't feel like they can try anything else but gymnastics. Their parents have taken front desk jobs at the gym, moved from 45 minutes away, pulled them from regular school to homeschool, rearranged siblings schedules, etc.

My DH did a very different sport growing up and went on to do it in college and at an elite level. It used to be the kind of thing that parents weren't even remotely involved in because it started to get serious only in HS and frankly it's quite boring. Now even his sport has been infiltrated by pushy parents. I don't think any activity is safe.

[Anonymous]

I think things have changed since we were kids. I was a D1 scholarship athlete and it was driven by me the whole way. One of my parents did rec/town sports growing up and was a decent athlete, but nowhere near elite. The other was/is not at all athletic. They didn't do any research on the best clubs/teams or coaching. They just signed me up for whatever was closest to home and whatever was easiest in terms of carpooling, until very late HS when I pushed them to let me join a different team that ended up being instrumental in setting me up for college. Maybe if they had been more involved I would have been even better... or maybe I would have felt too much pressure from them and burned out.

I'm not even sure my parents' approach would even work anymore because everyone is getting caught up in finding "the best" at younger and younger ages. I find myself getting caught up in it now with my own kids' sports... looking up the small group trainings and camps, researching clubs, etc. My kids have very much chosen their sports, but this area makes it hard to keep up while being chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, the ones who make it to the pros have the drive in themselves.

Ask Andre Agassi that question lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the other posters. My kids are swimmers and it is a complete waste if they are not self-motivated. They can't improve their times if they don't really want to win. I don't reward them for winning medals, but I do tell them that I am proud of them for their hard work and for giving it their best. If they ever want to switch to recreational swim, I will switch them right away. It would be cheaper for me!

Mine loves swimming but doesn’t care if he’s the fastest. So even though he likes swim team, I switched him to rec—much cheaper and less work for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean people who become elite athletes? It is almost always a combination of motivated child and motivated parent.

This is the right answer.

When it’s kid driven, it just flows. I’ve seen it with many and those kids are a joy to work with. A parent forcing a kid can work if they have that innate talent, but they may hate you and it (like Agassi).

[Anonymous]

At the elite level the athletes are self driven.

[Anonymous]

My sister was an Olympian. My parents were definitely unmotivated.

The most successful elite athletes will be self motivated and self driven. My sister even had to find her own coaches and which was difficult as we lived in a very very rural area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was an Olympian. My parents were definitely unmotivated.

The most successful elite athletes will be self motivated and self driven. My sister even had to find her own coaches and which was difficult as we lived in a very very rural area.

Same with our family. We just had some talented athletes and some that didn’t play sports at all. The adults weren’t really involved because organized sports didn’t start until middle school. I know quite a few once they were cut from pro teams or didn’t even last a year they had trouble with holding a regular job or started using too much alcohol. Their talent got them in college and then into pros, not their academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, the ones who make it to the pros have the drive in themselves.

+1 million. I always thought parents were the ones behind highly skilled athletes. Then I had a child with a lot of musical talent. I can’t pull him away from his instrument, it’s totally the internal drive.

[Anonymous]

My D1 T20 kid is very self motivated.

Sometime too much so and I’d say we pulled the reigns back at times , never pushed, but provided lots of opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting to see the schools that produce the most athletes that go all the way are Catholic schools. I would think the best thing for aspiring athletes is for them to go to one of these schools.

Soccer will never be popular in the US. Nobody cares about swimming, track, field hockey, or volleyball.

The sports that matter in the US are football, hockey, basketball and baseball. And baseball players from Latin America and Dominican Republic are dominating baseball. There’s no way a parent is going to make a big difference in young athletes who are on par with these talents. They are self driven and have everything they need to excel in the sport.

That's because those schools recruit heavily, which they can do because they have no boundaries which kids must live in.

Do they recruit from other states? Do top athletes in small towns contact them? Every time you see the top high schools they are Catholic. Then mixed public, usually big cities, and non religious private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting to see the schools that produce the most athletes that go all the way are Catholic schools. I would think the best thing for aspiring athletes is for them to go to one of these schools.

Soccer will never be popular in the US. Nobody cares about swimming, track, field hockey, or volleyball.

The sports that matter in the US are football, hockey, basketball and baseball. And baseball players from Latin America and Dominican Republic are dominating baseball. There’s no way a parent is going to make a big difference in young athletes who are on par with these talents. They are self driven and have everything they need to excel in the sport.

That's because those schools recruit heavily, which they can do because they have no boundaries which kids must live in.

Do they recruit from other states? Do top athletes in small towns contact them? Every time you see the top high schools they are Catholic. Then mixed public, usually big cities, and non religious private schools.

Do you think the best football schools in Texas are Catholic?

Do you think the best lacrosse schools on Long Island are Catholic?

The best soccer players come out of Catholic schools?

Do you think the tennis players come out of Catholic schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting to see the schools that produce the most athletes that go all the way are Catholic schools. I would think the best thing for aspiring athletes is for them to go to one of these schools.

Soccer will never be popular in the US. Nobody cares about swimming, track, field hockey, or volleyball.

The sports that matter in the US are football, hockey, basketball and baseball. And baseball players from Latin America and Dominican Republic are dominating baseball. There’s no way a parent is going to make a big difference in young athletes who are on par with these talents. They are self driven and have everything they need to excel in the sport.

That's because those schools recruit heavily, which they can do because they have no boundaries which kids must live in.

Do they recruit from other states? Do top athletes in small towns contact them? Every time you see the top high schools they are Catholic. Then mixed public, usually big cities, and non religious private schools.

Do you think the best football schools in Texas are Catholic?

Do you think the best lacrosse schools on Long Island are Catholic?

The best soccer players come out of Catholic schools?

Do you think the tennis players come out of Catholic schools?

That is so bizarre to me. But it works for the kids who are really top athletes and are willing to relocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, the ones who make it to the pros have the drive in themselves.

Ask Andre Agassi that question lol

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