Do you think most athletes were pushed by parents

[Anonymous]

A kid has to be motivated to be coachable and work hard, but in the parent has to find them good coaching and experience.

Finding those opportunities often entails lots of parent work such as driving for hours a week, or networking to learn who is good at coaching, or proactively emailing to get on the try out list, or paying for private coaching/clinics. Kids don't become elite without support. You can decide if that's pushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

What are these kids

[Anonymous]

I think parents "push" kids through a hard day or week or season, but in the big picture it really does have to come from the kid. I don't allow my kids to suddenly quit just because they've had a bad practice or game. But I think that's just the adult's role in taking a longer-term view and not allowing impulsive behavior. I do let them quit if they consistently want to stop over a period of time and aren't upset when they say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

1-2 hours a day is normal? Wut

[Anonymous]

My DC is off to do D1 athletics. 100% led by DC. I would have preferred not to get up at 4:30 for training, but was pushed by DC to do so. So, if anything, the parent was pushed by the athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

Please clarify ages? Because this is certainly not normal in elementary school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

Please clarify ages? Because this is certainly not normal in elementary school

DP. I have 3 kids, which translates to 3 nights/week of 1-2 hour practices just for a standard rec sport (all kids in elementary school). Most weeks we have at least 1 night game, which brings the total to 4 unless something overlaps. If any of our kids did multiple sports - which lots of their friends do - we'd easily have nightly 1-2 hour practices. Or if any of our kids did club/travel we'd be up to 2 practices per week for that kid and that sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the other posters. My kids are swimmers and it is a complete waste if they are not self-motivated. They can't improve their times if they don't really want to win. I don't reward them for winning medals, but I do tell them that I am proud of them for their hard work and for giving it their best. If they ever want to switch to recreational swim, I will switch them right away. It would be cheaper for me!

With some very, very rare exceptions exceptional self-motivation is required. I have encountered exceptionally talented athletes who did not take training as seriously as their peers and were able to coast on pure talent to a point.

Some exceptionally talented athletes have pushy parents and some parents may be pushier because they know their kids are exceptional talents. Pushy parents may require their children to practice more or continue with a sport that they do not enjoy making the child better than they would otherwise be but I don't think pushiness in an of itself will result in an olympian. I do think there is a fine line between encouraging your child to pursue something they are good at and being open to the fact that your child may decide they want to try something new. And I think that kids, especially older kids, have a better read on their strengths athletically than their parents.

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't think it can be forced beyond very young ages.

That said, our kids do travel sports and virtually all their friends/teammates have parents who played at some level. Ones w/o that connection seem to be very much in the minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a DS that is like you're describing. A natural athlete, plays various sports etc.

We haven't pushed at all. We're in rec leagues only. He asks to sign up for stuff with his school friends and if we can make it happen, we do.

There's this other kid on one of his soccer teams that is not as athletic as DS, and that was very clear a year ago when they were playing together.

That kid's dad arranged for a coach to work 1:1 with him.

Now, that kid is easily as good as my DS, if not better.

I'm sure the kid loves soccer and loves to play! But the parents are making the decision to invest in the "extras" that will make a difference in a highly-competitive area.

Now I'm stuck wondering if we're doing the wrong thing by being chill, especially since DS is only 6!!

Good one! I totally thought your post was serious until I got to the last line! LOL

Why do you think it's a joke? It's not!

I don't have illusions that he'll be in the MLS, but I'd like him to be able to play a sport in high school if he chooses. He's not redshirted with a summer birthday, so he's already on teams with kids a year older than he is.

It feels like, as a parent, his self-motivation and love of soccer will not be enough. If he wants to be good, he'll need parents (aka us) to start pushing travel, getting individual coaching etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a DS that is like you're describing. A natural athlete, plays various sports etc.

We haven't pushed at all. We're in rec leagues only. He asks to sign up for stuff with his school friends and if we can make it happen, we do.

There's this other kid on one of his soccer teams that is not as athletic as DS, and that was very clear a year ago when they were playing together.

That kid's dad arranged for a coach to work 1:1 with him.

Now, that kid is easily as good as my DS, if not better.

I'm sure the kid loves soccer and loves to play! But the parents are making the decision to invest in the "extras" that will make a difference in a highly-competitive area.

Now I'm stuck wondering if we're doing the wrong thing by being chill, especially since DS is only 6!!

Good one! I totally thought your post was serious until I got to the last line! LOL

Why do you think it's a joke? It's not!

I don't have illusions that he'll be in the MLS, but I'd like him to be able to play a sport in high school if he chooses. He's not redshirted with a summer birthday, so he's already on teams with kids a year older than he is.

It feels like, as a parent, his self-motivation and love of soccer will not be enough. If he wants to be good, he'll need parents (aka us) to start pushing travel, getting individual coaching etc.

DP. The statistics show if you push and he's not motivated, instead of a high school athlete you'll have a burnt out kid who drops out of sports altogether at 12-13. Be careful. Only go this route if your kid is pushing you to do it.

[Anonymous]

With regard to elite athletes, the parents drive things from the beginning through about age 12, then the kid's drive takes over. So, both must exist.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting to see the schools that produce the most athletes that go all the way are Catholic schools. I would think the best thing for aspiring athletes is for them to go to one of these schools.

Soccer will never be popular in the US. Nobody cares about swimming, track, field hockey, or volleyball.

The sports that matter in the US are football, hockey, basketball and baseball. And baseball players from Latin America and Dominican Republic are dominating baseball. There’s no way a parent is going to make a big difference in young athletes who are on par with these talents. They are self driven and have everything they need to excel in the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting to see the schools that produce the most athletes that go all the way are Catholic schools. I would think the best thing for aspiring athletes is for them to go to one of these schools.

Soccer will never be popular in the US. Nobody cares about swimming, track, field hockey, or volleyball.

The sports that matter in the US are football, hockey, basketball and baseball. And baseball players from Latin America and Dominican Republic are dominating baseball. There’s no way a parent is going to make a big difference in young athletes who are on par with these talents. They are self driven and have everything they need to excel in the sport.

That's because those schools recruit heavily, which they can do because they have no boundaries which kids must live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean people who become elite athletes? It is almost always a combination of motivated child and motivated parent.

I don’t necessarily mean D1 or future pro athletes.

I was thinking about the kids we know who do gymnastics or hockey. I have a friend whose daughter has done gymnastics her entire life since she was in preschool. She did cartwheels and handstands when she was in early elementary but I don’t remember her being any different than other girls doing gymnastics. At some point, she was going to gymnastics all the time and the family would be tied up many weekends, often times traveling for various tournaments. The parents don’t seem academically focused but all in on her gymnastics. On the other hand, we know another girl who is very bright and generally very athletic. She also does some cartwheels and basic stuff. The mom told me the girl begs the parents for gymnastics but the parents are busy with work and her brother’s spoet. There is no way this girl can learn and train by herself without parent support. If her parents were as dedicated as the other friend we have, I don’t doubt this girl could also have been a great gymnast.

The kids we know who play sports all the time are used to the lifestyle. There are so many different sports where families revolve around all things baseball or basketball. We know a kid whose parents are divorced who loves basketball. His parents don’t drive him anywhere and definitely no skills training for him. Does he really have a shot against those kids who have been training since they could walk? Sure he is athletic but so is everyone else who plays basketball.