What is attractive to ambitious men?

[Anonymous]

OP you just sound tiresome and very full of yourself. That’s my guess as to why you don’t land the men you think you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seem to have a track record of attracting men who are not career driven. They are well educated, may have multiple degrees, are cultured and worldly but they do not care about working and aren’t driven to succeed, socially or professionally.

I initially am attracted to them due to their intelligence and knowledge but quickly become bored by their lack of direction and goals and ambition.

Money is a factor, but I’m not necessarily looking for extremely rich guys, just men who are driven and know where they are going and can build a reasonably comfortable life together.

I don’t know what I’m doing to signal I am a candidate for the less driven guys and the ambitious driven ones do not approach me. Please help!

OP, the main factor attracting successful men is beauty. It applies to women of all ages. You said you are slim, which is commendable. But are you actually magazine cover looking, and stylishly slim (e.g. long neck, long nice legs, small feet and aristocratic fingers, classic pretty face)? Would you look amazing on his elbow in evening dress?

I'm telling this because my problem is just the opposite: I prefer interesting, artsy men. I'm wealthy and very good looking. If I like men first, and they match me back - that would be the "interesting" guy type I want to date

But the guys who like ME first are all sorts of executives: tech entrepreneurs, high level government officials, law partners, SVPs of large companies making at least half a million a year. I was married to this type and divorced, have no interest in them at all, as I just want to enjoy the world. These men have a very standard idea how their GF should look and behave, and somehow I fit the bill. But they also place me in strict frame of how I should live my life with him, e.g. basically blending into his lifestyle, his friends, everything on his terms and his schedule etc.

Is this really what you want?

Beauty is not a factor at all. The most ambitious men I know are married to unattractive, but very wealthy women. Look at Melinda Gates or MacKenzie Scott, WOOF! But they came from very wealthy backgrounds that supported their ambitious husbands.

These are early marriages, in grad school or straight out. In OLD dating age and post age 30, looks and how the woman ages definitely matter. Look who Murdoch marries - they are all attractive and wealthy, or models

That’s totally different. At that point, by marriage number three, they’ve shown themselves to be narcissistic jerks and no women with true wealth or value will marry them. They’re left with exclusively gold digger options, so them might as well settle for the prettier, younger ones.

I don't think it's the jerkiness, but women of lesser means than him would be more willing to blend into his lifestyle: make his interests her own, make his travel style her travel style, accept his food habits, organize his schedule etc. It is a hard work to be married to a high NW man. I was married to one of the wealthiest men on the East Coast for 20 years while working full time myself. So I know what I'm talking about.

All wives of his colleagues were attractive at a minimum

Lol, are you for real? When food habits become part of the equation, you’re dealing with a JERK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I seem to have a track record of attracting men who are not career driven. They are well educated, may have multiple degrees, are cultured and worldly but they do not care about working and aren’t driven to succeed, socially or professionally.

I initially am attracted to them due to their intelligence and knowledge but quickly become bored by their lack of direction and goals and ambition.

Money is a factor, but I’m not necessarily looking for extremely rich guys, just men who are driven and know where they are going and can build a reasonably comfortable life together.

I don’t know what I’m doing to signal I am a candidate for the less driven guys and the ambitious driven ones do not approach me. Please help!

Be driven yourself. If you are a GS 15, you'll not be approached by GS 7 but your peers.

[Anonymous]

You missed 20's and early 30's so in mid 30's to early 40's, for a high achiever man you need to look at divorced dads in late 40's or early 50's who'll have all that but part of their time and money would go to their kids and first wives who made sacrifices helping them climb the ladder.

[Anonymous]

Example: Hope Hicks

[Anonymous]

Men you are looking for want trophy wives, beautiful and relaxed with generational wealth, elevating them instead of counting their 401K and credit score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

Is this a serious description? I can't tell. Don't ever tell anyone you are obsessed with self-improvement again if you are being serious.

Again, if serious, this description sounds pretty navel-gazing and kind of drippy. So I agree like meets like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

I hate ambiguous men too.

Use it or lose it man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

This must be the part where you confirm you’re a Troll.

[Anonymous]

I’m a guy that gets women like op but also loses women like op because I’m not all that ambitious or into long working hours

So I know exactly what op is talking about - I lose a lot of women like her

It’s all good tho - I enjoy chillaxing too much to be a grind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are YOU ambitious? All the ambitious men I know married ambitious women (peers in college, grad school, or first jobs). Some of the women now SAH or work part time, but they didn't have a "man is the plan" attitude when they first met and attracted their now-spouses.

Agree.

Same. Ambitious men like ambitious women. It drives them harder to be worthy of an ambitious woman. It’s like a feedback loop.

+1

They are looking for the same thing you are - goal oriented, ambitious, driven, plus gorgeous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a gold digger who historically makes bad choice in men. You deserve what you get.

Pretty much

[Anonymous]

I have been with Dh for over 20 years so my info may be dated.

I was a well educated very ambitious woman. Ambitious men always liked me. I was very type A go getter. I used to be told I was hot. I’m naturally thin, pretty face, big boobs. They probably liked most that I loved sex too. I think guys like that like women who are both classy and sexy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

Have you read Proust? Not many people have. The only (three) people I know who have were professors. They were definitely ambitious people, because academia is cutthroat. I think you mean a rich man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seem to have a track record of attracting men who are not career driven. They are well educated, may have multiple degrees, are cultured and worldly but they do not care about working and aren’t driven to succeed, socially or professionally.

I initially am attracted to them due to their intelligence and knowledge but quickly become bored by their lack of direction and goals and ambition.

Money is a factor, but I’m not necessarily looking for extremely rich guys, just men who are driven and know where they are going and can build a reasonably comfortable life together.

I don’t know what I’m doing to signal I am a candidate for the less driven guys and the ambitious driven ones do not approach me. Please help!

OP, the main factor attracting successful men is beauty. It applies to women of all ages. You said you are slim, which is commendable. But are you actually magazine cover looking, and stylishly slim (e.g. long neck, long nice legs, small feet and aristocratic fingers, classic pretty face)? Would you look amazing on his elbow in evening dress?

I'm telling this because my problem is just the opposite: I prefer interesting, artsy men. I'm wealthy and very good looking. If I like men first, and they match me back - that would be the "interesting" guy type I want to date

But the guys who like ME first are all sorts of executives: tech entrepreneurs, high level government officials, law partners, SVPs of large companies making at least half a million a year. I was married to this type and divorced, have no interest in them at all, as I just want to enjoy the world. These men have a very standard idea how their GF should look and behave, and somehow I fit the bill. But they also place me in strict frame of how I should live my life with him, e.g. basically blending into his lifestyle, his friends, everything on his terms and his schedule etc.

Is this really what you want?

Beauty is not a factor at all. The most ambitious men I know are married to unattractive, but very wealthy women. Look at Melinda Gates or MacKenzie Scott, WOOF! But they came from very wealthy backgrounds that supported their ambitious husbands.

These are early marriages, in grad school or straight out. In OLD dating age and post age 30, looks and how the woman ages definitely matter. Look who Murdoch marries - they are all attractive and wealthy, or models

That’s totally different. At that point, by marriage number three, they’ve shown themselves to be narcissistic jerks and no women with true wealth or value will marry them. They’re left with exclusively gold digger options, so them might as well settle for the prettier, younger ones.

I don't think it's the jerkiness, but women of lesser means than him would be more willing to blend into his lifestyle: make his interests her own, make his travel style her travel style, accept his food habits, organize his schedule etc. It is a hard work to be married to a high NW man. I was married to one of the wealthiest men on the East Coast for 20 years while working full time myself. So I know what I'm talking about.

All wives of his colleagues were attractive at a minimum

Lol, are you for real? When food habits become part of the equation, you’re dealing with a JERK.

+1

“Accept his food habits”? What the heck does this even mean?