Boston, NYC, DC - Best place to raise kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh just go to NYC if you can afford it. This area is full of people that are insecure that they're not New Yorkers anyway.

x1000 You said it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boston, hands down. DC is too insecure and materialistic. NYC would be great except too many people (for me) like Trump. Braggarts with nothing to back it up. Boston is great.

I've lived in all three cities.

DH is from Boston. I’m from NYC. Now we live in DC. DC seems like it is a good mix of everything.

Boston is all about where you went to school. NYC is money and looks. DC is a city full of smart, not that rich, not that good looking people.

Then it’s perfect for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably choose DC, but I don't even think DC is a great place to raise kids. However I think it's the easiest of those three to raise kids, so I'd go with it. Boston second, NYC third.

The idealized image of raising kids in NYC is very appealing to me. No one I know there actually raises kids in that way and most are highly stressed and even the super high earners seem financially stretched. I don't think it's worth it.

I think the actual best places to raise kids on the Eastern seaboard are: Philly (city if you can afford private, western suburbs if you can't), Providence, Portland Maine. Outside Eastern seaboard, I'd go with Chicago, Minneapolis, San Diego, and Denver.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with all three of these places is that the more money you have, the easier it is to raise kids there, and also the more insane and bad-for-kids the culture becomes. People don't always even engage in the behaviors intentionally, there's just this fear of being left behind and it's so toxic. It is sad to me when we see friends we selected specifically because they are down-to-earth and reasonable engage in the competitive, cut throat behaviors with regards to school (public or private, the well of families at both can be nuts), kid's activities, travel and conspicuous consumption.

Some kids do fine in it anyway, but some kids are more sensitive to some of the competitiveness and ostentatious behavior you see in these places. My oldest is this way, and we are actually moving from the DC are back to the midwest city near where my spouse grew up, because I think it will be a better environment for DD and she is less likely to absorb some of the worst behavior we see there. We also know the city well and that helps us be extra careful about where live and send our kids to school. I know we'll still run into a lot of the same behaviors, but it's not as amplified as it is here, and the expectations are not as dramatically high, especially for stuff like college outcomes.

I have never raised kids in NYC or Boston, but I'm guessing it's similar. You need a lot of money to raise kids in these places with choices and not to be financially stressed all the time (and just to access good schools), but then having a lot of money and being around people with a lot of money creates new problems.

This is really well said. I have found this to be true of this area - totally toxic. I have not resided elsewhere as an adult. There is an undesirable element in this area, and they would be the first piling it on about someone who mentioned it. The MO is to feign obliviousness about most things, especially something like the toxicity and antisocial tendencies, which only perpetuates the behaviors. it is kind of a fascinating social experiment/observation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does NYC in this game have to equal Manhattan? I'd pick Brooklyn, hands down.

NYC includes all 5 boroughs.

This is easy for me, NYC hands down. Harlem, to be specific.

[Anonymous]

None of them is my choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with all three of these places is that the more money you have, the easier it is to raise kids there, and also the more insane and bad-for-kids the culture becomes. People don't always even engage in the behaviors intentionally, there's just this fear of being left behind and it's so toxic. It is sad to me when we see friends we selected specifically because they are down-to-earth and reasonable engage in the competitive, cut throat behaviors with regards to school (public or private, the well of families at both can be nuts), kid's activities, travel and conspicuous consumption.

Some kids do fine in it anyway, but some kids are more sensitive to some of the competitiveness and ostentatious behavior you see in these places. My oldest is this way, and we are actually moving from the DC are back to the midwest city near where my spouse grew up, because I think it will be a better environment for DD and she is less likely to absorb some of the worst behavior we see there. We also know the city well and that helps us be extra careful about where live and send our kids to school. I know we'll still run into a lot of the same behaviors, but it's not as amplified as it is here, and the expectations are not as dramatically high, especially for stuff like college outcomes.

I have never raised kids in NYC or Boston, but I'm guessing it's similar. You need a lot of money to raise kids in these places with choices and not to be financially stressed all the time (and just to access good schools), but then having a lot of money and being around people with a lot of money creates new problems.

EXACTLY THIS first paragraph. I find DC to be great in so many ways, but agree that everything is stifled by what school you go to/what clubs you play for/which pool you belong to/whether you have a nanny... and it just gets worse when you have more money because you end up living in a HCOL neighborhood with less socioeconomic diversity and so on. I see the ways this weighs on my kids and we do everything we can to remind them about our family values. Keeping them in public school, limiting activities, maintaining family time, giving back to others, etc.

I think NYC is even worse, and Boston it depends where you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boston, hands down. DC is too insecure and materialistic. NYC would be great except too many people (for me) like Trump. Braggarts with nothing to back it up. Boston is great.

I've lived in all three cities.

DH is from Boston. I’m from NYC. Now we live in DC. DC seems like it is a good mix of everything.

Boston is all about where you went to school. NYC is money and looks. DC is a city full of smart, not that rich, not that good looking people.

Then it’s perfect for you

We live in a lovely 10,000sf house. My kids are healthy and surrounded by families who are well educated. People are not too materialistic and not obsessed with looks. I think this is a good place to raise kids.

DH and I fit in in nyc, Boston and DC. We have a seven figure HHI and live well. I don’t think this money would go far in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boston, hands down. DC is too insecure and materialistic. NYC would be great except too many people (for me) like Trump. Braggarts with nothing to back it up. Boston is great.

I've lived in all three cities.

DH is from Boston. I’m from NYC. Now we live in DC. DC seems like it is a good mix of everything.

Boston is all about where you went to school. NYC is money and looks. DC is a city full of smart, not that rich, not that good looking people.

Then it’s perfect for you

We live in a lovely 10,000sf house. My kids are healthy and surrounded by families who are well educated. People are not too materialistic and not obsessed with looks. I think this is a good place to raise kids.

DH and I fit in in nyc, Boston and DC. We have a seven figure HHI and live well. I don’t think this money would go far in NYC.

LOL not too materialistic but you come across as exactly that. 0 self awareness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boston, hands down. DC is too insecure and materialistic. NYC would be great except too many people (for me) like Trump. Braggarts with nothing to back it up. Boston is great.

I've lived in all three cities.

DH is from Boston. I’m from NYC. Now we live in DC. DC seems like it is a good mix of everything.

Boston is all about where you went to school. NYC is money and looks. DC is a city full of smart, not that rich, not that good looking people.

Then it’s perfect for you

We live in a lovely 10,000sf house. My kids are healthy and surrounded by families who are well educated. People are not too materialistic and not obsessed with looks. I think this is a good place to raise kids.

DH and I fit in in nyc, Boston and DC. We have a seven figure HHI and live well. I don’t think this money would go far in NYC.

LOL not too materialistic but you come across as exactly that. 0 self awareness

I used to live in nyc and shop frequently and dress up daily. DC life is very different.

[Anonymous]

DC is the least expensive of those 3 options but it sounds like that shouldn't be a factor.

I'd pick Boston - excellent schools, a lot of culture in the city, interesting/historic housing stock, easy access to great beaches and islands + mountains/skiing, new england has a lot to offer.

[Anonymous]

Dc by a mile

[Anonymous]

I lived in all 3 growing up, and while it was a different time, I would hands down say Boston area.

[Anonymous]

Well I'm sure NYC is in a perpetual state of mourning that you're not there lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is the least expensive of those 3 options but it sounds like that shouldn't be a factor.

I'd pick Boston - excellent schools, a lot of culture in the city, interesting/historic housing stock, easy access to great beaches and islands + mountains/skiing, new england has a lot to offer.

+1

I dislike the lack of a sense of place that metro DC has, and how far it is from beaches, mountains, and lakes.