Can a single dad who has his kid full time really be too busy to text?

[Anonymous]

He might dislike texting.

There's a difference between "Can you come over at 3" "Ok" kind of text and having a conversation over text where you need to be witty and engaged. Some posters have mentioned their SOs are surgeons and investment bankers - they are busy people but they are also educated and probably comfortable communicating in writing.

For a construction worker, he might just see texting as a means to an end to communicate things that don't require a phone call but it may not be his personal preferred method of getting to know someone.

[Anonymous]

I'm the female version of him.

Is this a serious relationship?

If you've just started dating and it's casual, yeah he doesn't have capacity right now to have all day long text conversations with someone he's just met. You get to the end of the day with a full-time job, then full-time parent and it is a lot to then be "on" again with someone in your life who is new. I think the comparisons with people who are married to spouses with high-demand jobs is unfair. It's a lot of work at first carrying on a conversation in a new relationship and finding fun and charming things to say. It's different when it's a longer-term relationship and the familiar banter is easy.

I would cut him so slack. But if you can't and you need constant contact than let him go. Because trust me there is nothing less fun than giving all to work, giving all to your kid and then hopping on text or going out with someone who is constantly disappointed in what you have capacity to give.

[Anonymous]

A guy lied to me about this. He was married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has 100% custody, then the mother is a hot mess.

I would question it if he says 100 percent custody. What does that mean? Mom is in jail? Even if she lives out of the country she would have some custody.

Not true. Depends on where the divorce happened.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has more important people to text.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has ADHD. I find it excruciating to keep up with texts.

[Anonymous]

I detest texting conversations.

Texts should be used to make plans to meet up. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. He works by himself in construction and has his daughter all the time 100% custody. He responds to my texts a day or a few days after I send them. It's irritating me. I have no kids but he says that he texts when he can. He also doesn't want to say why he has 100% custody.

No one in construction is social texting from 7am to 4pm.

Is this yet another outlandish troll post?

What else will you add. He’s based in China?

[Anonymous]

None of my relationships that began from scarce texting resulted in anything serious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is tough working full time and then coming home parenting full time. Many days you feel like your day starts when you come home to your child! It’s exhausting. Give him a break.

But why should she put up with a guy who can’t pay her much attention?

Find someone else, op.

He could make time to reply if he wanted to

[Anonymous]

Just because you call, doesn’t mean I need to pick up or call back right away. Just because you text, doesn’t mean I have to respond immediately.

He has a different communication style. He refuses to be a slave to his phone. If you require immediate connection no matter time or means, then you and he are different. If you demand he share his location at all times and he refuses? Neither is right or wrong, but you may not be compatible…

[Anonymous]

Single parent with full custody and working full time.

No, he’s not too busy to text.

[Anonymous]

Depends on age of kids. I consciously put my phone aside when I’m with my kids in the evenings.

I only return texts/ emails after bedtime has been completed. If that is what he’s doing, then I would respect that decision but it still might not work for you.

[Anonymous]

I never ever believe the whole “I don’t have time to text” bit. It’s a cop out and everyone knows it. He is either talking to a ton of women. Or he simply is not that interested and doesn’t see the need/desire to tell you or completely cut you off.

You can text back when your kid is napping, at school (daycare, preschool whatever). If he works clearly his kid has to be in some kind of care. He can text on his lunch break or while he is pooping. Whatever. Everybody has time-it’s just what they choose to do with it and he is not choosing to text you back. Move on. He will NEVER make you a priority.

[Anonymous]

It’s always the same: if a man wants to get in touch with you, he will.