moving mom to AL--she is in denial

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not accepting that she has dementia is part of having dementia. It's normal.

This, with dementia, she doesn't understand or remember.

It's called anosognosia - ancient Greek for "without knowledge of disease." People with dementia (and people with mental illness) are often cognitively unaware of their condition due to physiological damage to the brain. It's a lack of self-awareness. Their brain simply cannot process the fact that they have dementia.

My mom is 82 and in the moderate stages of Alzheimer's. She lived with us two and a half months, until it became unsustainable and we moved her into assisted living. Two months later, she had a pretty serious wandering incident so she was moved to the secure memory care wing of the facility. To this day she says there is nothing wrong with her and complains about having to live with "all these old sick people."

Well yeah, memory care is basically prison.

Op, is your mom on meds? Something like Aricept or were quell or both could help. You need to consult a psychiatrist, neurologist, geriatrician etc about meds that might help. They can improve mood.

Prison might be better.

[Anonymous]

Denial is part of the disease. You need to lie to her. Tell her that the house needs a lot of work (fumigation, pipe replacement, etc) or that she needs to go somewhere temporarily for rehab (if she's fallen?) and move her into a facility that has both AI and memory care; they will evaluate her for what level of care she needs. Make sure there is a doctor that is attached to the facility (even if she continues to see her person, you need someone who can also prescribe meds).

I made the mistake of thinking that my mom, in early stages of alzheimers, would be able to make a decision about where to go, but honestly decisions are really tough for her. It would have been better if I had chosen the facility I liked that was closest to me. Because no matter how many services they provide, you will still be going a lot.

So visit a lot on your own, look up inspections/violations, etc, and then choose.

[Anonymous]

PP here, I missed that she lived with you. So tell her that you need to do renovations to her room and the house and that you need to house her temporarily. The renovations will last a long time. She will eventually forget.

[Anonymous]

Curious my mom is making up stories often where she is the benevolent whatever thing she wants to be for the day completely twisting facts from the past often just one week after they transpired. Getting angry readily. Forgetting things all the time. She takes anti-depressants. She seems to be well physically though. She has a lot of friends but I've noticed the friends don't really listen to each other anymore. They just talk at each other over meals. They all have a lot of money from their dead husbands so there aren't really a lot of issues to deal with unless it's family or illness. Is this beginning stages of dementia? I feel like until she has a physical issue it would be impossible to get her out of her house.