What did you want more? To be a mom or a wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ive never wanted kids, so I'd say wife. But honestly being a wife wasn't a goal or something I wanted, more so a loving, supportive partner to go through life with.

This. I find the obsession with being "Mrs. so and so" or "Larla's mommy" very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom more, but I knew I wanted to SAH and also I'm pretty traditional, so I also needed a husband. Sort of of a package deal.

Well at least you admit it.

[Anonymous]

When I was young I didn’t care about either one. Now that I have both, I enjoy being a mom more than a wife. Being a mother changes your world/life (in a good way) in a way that nothing else does.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I grew up with a culture where marriages were awful to women. I didn’t expect to find the companionship I have with my husband. Now I feel like being a wife has be fulfilling but I still would pick being a mom because the odds of finding such companionship is very low.

[Anonymous]

Definitely a mom, but to live the life I wanted I needed to be a wife too.

[Anonymous]

I wanted a lifelong companion and to be desperately in love. If kids came a long during that then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted a lifelong companion and to be desperately in love. If kids came a long during that then so be it.

This is me, too. In my childhood/family experience, a loving partner is for life and parenthood is a phase of that partnership. We got married not intending to have kids, and only have 1 now. He's almost grown, and I still intend on 40+ more years of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Both equally, but long-term to be a wife. I adore my husband and we have a great time together. Looking forward to retirement/being empty nesters (when the time comes). I love being a mom but the goal is to launch them away from you successfully.

[Anonymous]

Mom. I waited to marry until I found someone I was excited to have kids with. I loved others, but DH is also a great father.

[Anonymous]

I always felt that one would lead to the other and that’s how it worked out. I wanted both so I started with a husband but I didn’t put a lot of thought into one without the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a mom is so important to me that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't want kids. I would resent them and be mad at myself for choosing them.

100% THIS

Being a mom is the most important thing I will ever accomplish in life. Everything else is pathetically insignificant compared to raising good and decent human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ive never wanted kids, so I'd say wife. But honestly being a wife wasn't a goal or something I wanted, more so a loving, supportive partner to go through life with.

This. I find the obsession with being "Mrs. so and so" or "Larla's mommy" very strange.

I’m sorry you cannot feel the indescribable joy that is motherhood. I really feel bad for you.

[Anonymous]

Having a best friend and partner to share my life with was my dream, I love him so much our kids are like the icing … mini versions of us we share our lives with