What did you want more? To be a mom or a wife?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to someone who desired a husband/ partner more than children. Essentially she wants to be a mom but will forfeit this for a romantic relationship. For me, I always wanted to be a mom more than to have a partner. Of course, I wanted both but motherhood was my main objective. It may be cultural but I felt that the bond between a mother and a child outlived most romantic relationships. I also feel like marriage was a way to become a mom in a stable environment. What about you all?

[Anonymous]

A child. Love being married, but a child was more important to me.

[Anonymous]

I was happy to be a wife, but now the role of mother is way more important to me.
Not sure that answers the OP’s pool question, but maybe that the answer changed with the additional roles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A child. Love being married, but a child was more important to me.

+1 I would have figured out a way to have a child if I hadn't married. Glad I'm married but would have been ok if that didn't happen.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Growing up, I always envisioned a husband as a necessary but not necessarily desirable step to becoming a mom. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I’m not straight and eventually became a single mom by choice.

[Anonymous]

I fulfilled my dreams by marrying well, becoming a stay at home wife, and a stay at home mother. Never worked a day in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fulfilled my dreams by marrying well, becoming a stay at home wife, and a stay at home mother. Never worked a day in my life.

You've worked every day, good for you that you don't see it that way.

[Anonymous]

A mother of course. I chose the man who wanted kids ASAP. He was already established and older than me.

[Anonymous]

Both, but motherhood slightly more. However, now that I've had both and I am divorced, and everyone is grown, I would choose neither. Both roles were way too exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Ive never wanted kids, so I'd say wife. But honestly being a wife wasn't a goal or something I wanted, more so a loving, supportive partner to go through life with.

[Anonymous]

Mother

[Anonymous]

It all sort of jumbled together-man - husband - kids = family/kid centric life.

[Anonymous]

Being a mom is so important to me that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't want kids. I would resent them and be mad at myself for choosing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Growing up, I always envisioned a husband as a necessary but not necessarily desirable step to becoming a mom. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I’m not straight and eventually became a single mom by choice.

I was the same way- but married. Regret the marriage- he’s dreadful now after decades of alcohol abuse- but divorce’s has allowed me to be a great single mom. I wish I had done it your way! I won’t marry again- ever.

[Anonymous]

Child. I had a friend who chose her husband over a child. Then their marriage broke up in her forties and she is now desperately trying for a child when it’s late. I’m still pretty pissed at him for robbing her of what he knew was her wish. But she chose to stay (he left that slightly door open). I think it’s very real risk for partners who have any desire to have kids.