Age difference - will DH and I still be able to do fun activities together once I retire?

[Anonymous]

My husband is 10 years older. I'm the one with the health issues.

[Anonymous]

Nearing late 70's: don't ski anymore, have difficulty with higher altitude - as in don't prefer to travel to those locations, can't count on being about to go on a 7 - 10 mile hike.

Things that happened out of the blue: torn meniscus in the knee, torn rotator cuff in the shoulder, tear in the retina of the eye. All needing fairly immediate attention.

[Anonymous]

You never know, of course.

I have heard that the 60’s are the go go years, the 70’s the slow go years, and the 80’s the no go years.

I think you are taking a risk (of never sharing that carefree phase of life with him).

Why don’t you retire when he is 70?

(I say this as a 67 year old who has learned I can’t do/enjoy what I used to overseas. Standing—like at a museum with no chairs, walking up steep hills, and lugging a suitcase have all gotten harder.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have any guarantees. If he is bored now, what does he want to do?
Is it imperative financially that you keep working?

I have a parent mid-70s with Parkinson’s who is housebound and will never travel again. If you can do it now, do it.

At least maximize your vacation time and do some fun trips.

[Anonymous]

OP, your DH's retirement, presently, should not be impacted by you/your work. He should be doing all of his bucket list things, now. Just not with you.

If you start to wish you were along for the adventures, that gives you your answer.

[Anonymous]

My husband retired at 61 and he is now 73. While he is still very active he definitely can not go at the same pace as he did at 61. Nor can I frankly. I know you like your work but I wouldn’t wait until he is 74 for you to retire unless you really need the money. If he sits around bored for the next nine years waiting for you to retire he will age faster.

[Anonymous]

None of us can accurately predict the future, OP.

Balance your need to keep your career viable with trips and activities as you go. Best of both worlds.

Make sure to keep up a social network of your own as well. You will likely outlive DH. Another balance to strike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad passed at 73 and my uncle at 72. No guarantees there. I know you enjoy work but do you have to keep working? It may be better to do an early retirement so you can enjoy the time you have.

OP here.
I don't HAVE to keep working. I work freelance so I take on the work I can get. The work is interesting and fulfilling, but it's a competitive world out there for freelancers, and if I don't work I don't earn. Financially we're OK, I work part-time, but I'm worried that if I slow down and work less, or occasional projects, my clients will move on and find someone else.

Part time seems ideal and to offer a lot of flexibility.

Make a list of things you both want to do and start scheduling them in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have any guarantees. If he is bored now, what does he want to do?
Is it imperative financially that you keep working?

I have a parent mid-70s with Parkinson’s who is housebound and will never travel again. If you can do it now, do it.

At least maximize your vacation time and do some fun trips.

This is OP.
It is not imperative that I keep working. We have some savings and we have investments. We also have a second property that we rent out. It's a small, older property and the rent isn't high, but it's a regular additional income for us.
My DH will probably also inherit from his very elderly parent, but that's not guaranteed.

I do like my work, it gives me a lot of satisfaction and self worth, and I think I would find it strange to not work. To have no role in the workforce.
Having said that, I enjoy doing things with my husband, like traveling, hiking, biking, going to events, dining out, etc.

My DH happy being retired but yes, he sometimes gets bored.
He loves reading books, and during the colder months he reads the majority of the day. He works out 3 times a week, which is 3 hours, but I think he should increase the time he spends being physically active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(I know this is a hypothetical question.)

I am 56, DH will be 65 this year. Married for 26 years, no kids.

DH retired 2 years ago. I am still working, albeit part-time (I am a freelancer).

I intend to work for another 9 years at least (I enjoy my work a lot) so I will be 65 when I retire. DH will be 74 then.

I sometimes wonder if we will still be able to do fun things together once I retire. Things like going on vacations, outings, hiking, cycling, going to events, music festivals, etc. These are the things we're doing now, in between my work commitments.

Once I retire we will have all the time in the world and no responsibility towards children or grandchildren because we are childfree.
But will our health allow it? We are both healthy right now but who knows ...

My aunt and uncle are both 69, been married forever (they were high school sweethearts) and they both retired about 4 years ago. They do A LOT of fun outdoor activities together, like playing tennis (several days a week), cycling, walking, going on vacations. They have a large social circle. And they're still in their 60s.

By the time I plan to retire my DH will be in his mid 70s ... meaning while DH is in his 60s (and still healthy) I'll still be working.

Does anyone have a spouse with a 9 or 10 year age gap and do you still go out and do activities together in retirement?

My FIL and his wife are about 10 years apart and he is 85 (and a cancer survivor). They just got back from Europe. And are heading back out again in a few mos. to see the Northern Lights in scandanavia. FIL has some health issues but it has been manageable. He walks every day and is in as good health as you can expect at 85 (though obv a bit slower than he was 10 years ago). They are living the life.

It is absolutely doable.

Sure, it’s doable, but there’s no guarantee. So don’t postpone joy.

I didn't say to postpone. I would travel and stuff as much as I could now. But I also answered the question about whether it was doable. And it is.

The point is, it’s only doable if you are both in good health and mobile. Which is less and less likely the older you get.

[Anonymous]

There are no guarantees in life. Either of you could have a health issue arise.

I wouldn't put off doing activities together for 9 years. Live life now. You do part time freelance work. That should be work you can do while also travelling or enjoying other activities. Find a blend of retirement fun and part time work.

I worked with a woman whose husband had retired a few years before her. She was retiring at 65. They had 20 years of fun retirement life planned and had been saving and waiting for her retirement.. She retired and died of a heart attack two weeks after retiring.

Life can change in a heartbeat. An accident, an illness, a condition, an injury, a trauma. Live the beat life you can now. I wouldn't wait and plan for the future.

Just based on aging alone your husband will be fine. There are very active people in their 90s. However that is pretty much a roll of the dice.

[Anonymous]

Most people do in retirement what they did during their weekends. But take longer trips. And time for hobbies expands. Imo, people don't reinvent themselves, or even reinvent what their day or week looks like, just because they retire.

[Anonymous]

It’s great that work is fulfilling, but is that more important than spending quality time with your DH while he is able to travel? Hopefully not!!

Talk to a financial planner to see if you have enough now to retire the way you want. If you don’t, then figure out how much more you need to make.

Assuming you can afford it, I think you should go very part time and travel as much as possible, especially more adventurous trips. My family has travelled extensively with my ILs in the last 15 years. They are both healthy and active, but there is a big difference in what they could do at 65 vs 75. Jet lag hits them harder, they walk more slowly and need more frequent breaks. The heat especially really takes it out of them in the last couple of years. We have to plan for naps/downtime back at the hotel sometimes, which was never the case in their 60s. They luckily don’t have any major health issues and go for long wake every day, eat healthy etc. But they are just getting older.

My dad worked hard his whole life and planned on traveling extensively in retirement, he loved the ocean and wanted to charter boats all over the world. He was diagnosed with a progressive illness and didn’t get to take any of his trips. It has been devastating.

[Anonymous]

Health is not guaranteed so I’d do as much of that stuff now. I’ve known to many people that never got to enjoy retirement like they planned because of physical limitations or death (not too sound morbid). Life is short so enjoy your youth and health now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an age gap slightly bigger than yours. I plan to retire at the same time as DH. I also plan to cultivate friendships with other women and family members so I can continue the hobbies I enjoy with them if DH becomes to old to enjoy them with me while I am still relatively young.

What is the plan if DH isn’t ambulatory? What is he like when he is sick now (flu, sprained ankle type stuff)?