Age difference - will DH and I still be able to do fun activities together once I retire?

[Anonymous]

(I know this is a hypothetical question.)

I am 56, DH will be 65 this year. Married for 26 years, no kids.

DH retired 2 years ago. I am still working, albeit part-time (I am a freelancer).

I intend to work for another 9 years at least (I enjoy my work a lot) so I will be 65 when I retire. DH will be 74 then.

I sometimes wonder if we will still be able to do fun things together once I retire. Things like going on vacations, outings, hiking, cycling, going to events, music festivals, etc. These are the things we're doing now, in between my work commitments.

Once I retire we will have all the time in the world and no responsibility towards children or grandchildren because we are childfree.
But will our health allow it? We are both healthy right now but who knows ...

My aunt and uncle are both 69, been married forever (they were high school sweethearts) and they both retired about 4 years ago. They do A LOT of fun outdoor activities together, like playing tennis (several days a week), cycling, walking, going on vacations. They have a large social circle. And they're still in their 60s.

By the time I plan to retire my DH will be in his mid 70s ... meaning while DH is in his 60s (and still healthy) I'll still be working.

Does anyone have a spouse with a 9 or 10 year age gap and do you still go out and do activities together in retirement?

[Anonymous]

What kind of shape are you both in? what is your family health history? What is your diet like? It all depends and you mention none of those factors.

My mother in law looks and acts twenty years older than she is. My brother competes in triathlons at age 74.

[Anonymous]

It is dependent on your DH's health. If he isn't already, then he should start working out, eating right. If he sits around bored then that could be challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of shape are you both in? what is your family health history? What is your diet like? It all depends and you mention none of those factors.

My mother in law looks and acts twenty years older than she is. My brother competes in triathlons at age 74.

We're in an OK shape. Nothing amazing and there is room for improvement.
We're going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week.

Family history. My mom died of cancer in her early 50s, dad died in his early 60s from sepsis (blood poisoning) and complications of poorly managed diabetes.
DH's dad died in his early 80s from a stroke..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is dependent on your DH's health. If he isn't already, then he should start working out, eating right. If he sits around bored then that could be challenging.

DH's health is OK right now, but he needs to eat healthier food. He never eats fruit.

He works out 2 or 3 times a week but he also sits around bored sometimes. He enjoys reading and he reads a lot, one book after another.
Doesn't have his own circle of friends. Casual acquaintances yes, close friends no.

[Anonymous]

Statistically there's a reasonable chance he won't make it another 9 years or at least not long after that. Average life expectancy in the US for men in 73.5 years. This next 5-10 years will likely be his "healthy" retirement years where he's active and enjoying retirement. After that things will go downhill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(I know this is a hypothetical question.)

I am 56, DH will be 65 this year. Married for 26 years, no kids.

DH retired 2 years ago. I am still working, albeit part-time (I am a freelancer).

I intend to work for another 9 years at least (I enjoy my work a lot) so I will be 65 when I retire. DH will be 74 then.

I sometimes wonder if we will still be able to do fun things together once I retire. Things like going on vacations, outings, hiking, cycling, going to events, music festivals, etc. These are the things we're doing now, in between my work commitments.

Once I retire we will have all the time in the world and no responsibility towards children or grandchildren because we are childfree.
But will our health allow it? We are both healthy right now but who knows ...

My aunt and uncle are both 69, been married forever (they were high school sweethearts) and they both retired about 4 years ago. They do A LOT of fun outdoor activities together, like playing tennis (several days a week), cycling, walking, going on vacations. They have a large social circle. And they're still in their 60s.

By the time I plan to retire my DH will be in his mid 70s ... meaning while DH is in his 60s (and still healthy) I'll still be working.

Does anyone have a spouse with a 9 or 10 year age gap and do you still go out and do activities together in retirement?

Wow boomer privilege to retire at 65, we really need to raise the age to 70 to coincide with life expectancy changes since as was created

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(I know this is a hypothetical question.)

I am 56, DH will be 65 this year. Married for 26 years, no kids.

DH retired 2 years ago. I am still working, albeit part-time (I am a freelancer).

I intend to work for another 9 years at least (I enjoy my work a lot) so I will be 65 when I retire. DH will be 74 then.

I sometimes wonder if we will still be able to do fun things together once I retire. Things like going on vacations, outings, hiking, cycling, going to events, music festivals, etc. These are the things we're doing now, in between my work commitments.

Once I retire we will have all the time in the world and no responsibility towards children or grandchildren because we are childfree.
But will our health allow it? We are both healthy right now but who knows ...

My aunt and uncle are both 69, been married forever (they were high school sweethearts) and they both retired about 4 years ago. They do A LOT of fun outdoor activities together, like playing tennis (several days a week), cycling, walking, going on vacations. They have a large social circle. And they're still in their 60s.

By the time I plan to retire my DH will be in his mid 70s ... meaning while DH is in his 60s (and still healthy) I'll still be working.

Does anyone have a spouse with a 9 or 10 year age gap and do you still go out and do activities together in retirement?

Wow boomer privilege to retire at 65, we really need to raise the age to 70 to coincide with life expectancy changes since as was created

In 1935, when the social security pension system was implemented, significant differences in life expectancy ex- isted. Life expectancy at birth was 61.0 for white males and 65.0 for white females.

According to ssb.no, the medium life expectancy in the United States is 81.7 for men and 85.1 for women in 2024.

So the ss age should be raised to 81

[Anonymous]

My dad passed at 73 and my uncle at 72. No guarantees there. I know you enjoy work but do you have to keep working? It may be better to do an early retirement so you can enjoy the time you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of shape are you both in? what is your family health history? What is your diet like? It all depends and you mention none of those factors.

My mother in law looks and acts twenty years older than she is. My brother competes in triathlons at age 74.

x100000. I know people who are 60, but you would think they are 85, by the way they think, move and act, OP. I know people who are 85 who have the attitude and movement of a 60 year old. Life and what you get from it is truly about what you make it, barring major (major) health considerations. Sit on the sidelines, or get busy enjoying!

[Anonymous]

How do you know that YOU will be healthy enough for all of that??

[Anonymous]

My B and SIL are in the same situation. They travelled a lot while they were emptynesters but she still worked.

They are in Colorado and hike, bike, ski constantly. Very in shape.

They told me at 68 it became very hard for my brother to travel as much, it is very obvious. Hearing loss, joint pain sitting in plane for too long.

So my advice is... travel now negotiate more vacation time, do weekend trips etc.

Also, get comfortable traveling with friends and your h needs to be comfortable being home when he doesn't want to travel.

My SIL went on 5 vacations sans my B this year, some with friends 2 with individual kids.

[Anonymous]

The average 65 year old woman is much more mobile and active than the average 74 year old man, and the differences only grow over time.

There are exceptions to those averages, but we have no idea how you and your husband compare to those.

My husband and I have a six year age gap, and neither of us will retire until both of us can, for this same reason.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I’d start taking some longer vacations now - 2 weeks every quarter if possible to do a cycling trip thru southern France, or trip to Tokyo, or whatever. Even if your DH is still very healthy in 9 yrs, and I hope he is, take advantage of time together now if possible. I know a number of couple who put all fun/meaningful things off til retirement and one of them didn’t make it - whether there was an age difference or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(I know this is a hypothetical question.)

I am 56, DH will be 65 this year. Married for 26 years, no kids.

DH retired 2 years ago. I am still working, albeit part-time (I am a freelancer).

I intend to work for another 9 years at least (I enjoy my work a lot) so I will be 65 when I retire. DH will be 74 then.

I sometimes wonder if we will still be able to do fun things together once I retire. Things like going on vacations, outings, hiking, cycling, going to events, music festivals, etc. These are the things we're doing now, in between my work commitments.

Once I retire we will have all the time in the world and no responsibility towards children or grandchildren because we are childfree.
But will our health allow it? We are both healthy right now but who knows ...

My aunt and uncle are both 69, been married forever (they were high school sweethearts) and they both retired about 4 years ago. They do A LOT of fun outdoor activities together, like playing tennis (several days a week), cycling, walking, going on vacations. They have a large social circle. And they're still in their 60s.

By the time I plan to retire my DH will be in his mid 70s ... meaning while DH is in his 60s (and still healthy) I'll still be working.

Does anyone have a spouse with a 9 or 10 year age gap and do you still go out and do activities together in retirement?

My FIL and his wife are about 10 years apart and he is 85 (and a cancer survivor). They just got back from Europe. And are heading back out again in a few mos. to see the Northern Lights in scandanavia. FIL has some health issues but it has been manageable. He walks every day and is in as good health as you can expect at 85 (though obv a bit slower than he was 10 years ago). They are living the life.

It is absolutely doable.