Kid asked if my son was gay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

Not anymore. Now it's a topic of conversation in the cafeteria and playground and in class. It's a different world. Until the kids grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are homophobic in grade school. As a former teacher , I can tell you that all the inclusion curriculum in the world hasn’t changed that.

Kids today aren’t any different from the kids of our time

This has not been the experience with kids I've worked with in our diverse community. For the most part they know who has two moms or two dads or just a mom without a dad or a dad without a mom. But they talk about it in a matter of fact way.

Polar opposite from when I was a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

Not anymore. Now it's a topic of conversation in the cafeteria and playground and in class. It's a different world. Until the kids grow up.

I didn't claim it was uncommon, I claimed it was rude. Of course it is a topic but it's invasive and personal. There is nothing wrong with discussing sexual orientation in the abstract, but to directly ask someone about their orientation is casually asking them to publicize sensitive information that they themselves are still processing and are not ready to share, or to lie, or to refuse to answer the question in a way that makes them a target.

It's also rude to ask adults, btw, but at least they can just make a mental note that you have no manners and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

Not anymore. Now it's a topic of conversation in the cafeteria and playground and in class. It's a different world. Until the kids grow up.

I didn't claim it was uncommon, I claimed it was rude. Of course it is a topic but it's invasive and personal. There is nothing wrong with discussing sexual orientation in the abstract, but to directly ask someone about their orientation is casually asking them to publicize sensitive information that they themselves are still processing and are not ready to share, or to lie, or to refuse to answer the question in a way that makes them a target.

It's also rude to ask adults, btw, but at least they can just make a mental note that you have no manners and move on.

It's not rude anymore.

[Anonymous]

By 5th grade we had pansexual and a transsexual male in our neighborhood. So, yeah, OP buckle up! Also, you kid very well could be gay. Most kids know very early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

Well, I have a port wine birth mark on my cheek - I think it's rude when people point it out, like I don't know it's there. Young kids are the first to do this; I know it and have to take it in stride "did someone punch you?", "what's that on your face?", "is that make up?". Yep, heard it all. It's not the norm, neither is being gay. Kids ask rude questions - these are just facts. Answer it, don't be offended, and move on.

[Anonymous]

I would worry about my kid and their feelings and not bother with the other kid. I would explain to my 8 yo that kids hear about things like being gay and are very curious. I’d say that most kids don’t know if they are gay yet, and that luckily he doesn’t have to decide that for a long time. Then I’d say even so, it can be hard to know what to say when someone asks a question like that. The moment has passed but maybe we’d come up with 5 ideas of things to say next time you’re on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Is it rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to be done about it. Your kid is going to have to learn to navigate this.

By 5th grade everyone will lay claim to their gender and sexual identity. Buckle up.

We are not seeing this in my kid’s sixth grade class. I’m sure some kids talk about it, but it really isn’t the “thing” that news and social media says it is. Her class has about 350 kids.

When my child was in 5th there were a handful of kids who were stating that they were gay or bi, one who came out as trans, one a sexual etc. By midway through 6th the only the trans kid remained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It’s not an appropriate question for an eight year old.

It's not an appropriate question for anyone. Mind your own business, folks, please.

Still, it barely scratches the surface of the rudeness and meanness school children must endure these days. Kids re AWFUL and no one seems to do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

Well, I have a port wine birth mark on my cheek - I think it's rude when people point it out, like I don't know it's there. Young kids are the first to do this; I know it and have to take it in stride "did someone punch you?", "what's that on your face?", "is that make up?". Yep, heard it all. It's not the norm, neither is being gay. Kids ask rude questions - these are just facts. Answer it, don't be offended, and move on.

Different queer person who also thinks the question is rude. Of course kids ask rude questions! A lot! Adults should be explaining to them why they shouldn’t ask people potentially stressful or uncomfortable questions like “what’s that on your face” or “are you gay”. I can and will gracefully handle “are you gay” (have been since I was a teen) but I also teach my kids that sexuality is personal and while it’s fine to share or present your own, it’s not polite to ask other people about theirs.

[Anonymous]

"None of your business." I would teach my kid to handle nosey questions of any sort with that response. How much do you weigh? Are you gay? How much money do you make?

N.O.Y.B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh my! That's a very rude question".

Welcome to the 21st century. No longer rude.

LGBTQ+ is much more accepted now than it used to be and the goal is to remove any stigma with being in any of those demographics. So, stop considering it rude and just answer. If the kid asked your son and he denied and then the kid asked you, I would say "He said he wasn't. Why would you not believe him?"

It is a super rude question as it is asking about a very personal matter. The level of rudeness has nothing to do with whether anything is wrong with any answer. Obviously 3rd graders ask all sorts of rude/invasive questions, but the solution is to teach them not to or at least ignore it rather than deny its a rude/invasive question.

Signed, a gay woman

+1 Very personal and rude question. Teach kids to be mindful of other people’s boundaries, don’t normalize this.

[Anonymous]

My kindergartner is a non-binary, gender fluid furry and I can tell you I’d be irate if one of his classmates asked if they were gay!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kindergartner is a non-binary, gender fluid furry and I can tell you I’d be irate if one of his classmates asked if they were gay!!!!

And if they used the wrong pronouns. Straight to the principal