No, I will not sit on your couch all week
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Anonymous
Have you actually just been sitting in their house for days on end with a toddler and not doing anything?? |
Anonymous
Yes. DH feels it's rude not to socialize, especially since we usually sleep in an Airbnb. |
Anonymous
| If your IL’s are anything like my IL’s, their list of priority “wanting to see” is 1), my husband, 2 after a significant gap), the grandkids, and I am not even on the list. I’d use the toddler as an excuse. “She’s going through a really active phase right now so I’m going to take her to this nearby park or the local trampoline park or whatever to burn off some energy and hopefully she sleeps well tonight, ha ha! Do you need anything from Target on the way home?” And then just go. Your husband can stay back and visit. |
Anonymous
No and your kid will behave better if you take them out to run around and it's good to stimulate little kids. They can go out each morning, get back in time for lunch, then nap, then wake and go to a local park with the grandparents, then dinner, books/bath, bed. |
Anonymous
| Definitely plan some outings! Invite them to join you, and if they say no or try to guilt you to stay, just say joyfully "Ok! Next time then!" and off you go. |
Anonymous
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I used to bd in the same bost. Then I thought eff it, and started going out and taking the kids out to parks and activities. Sometimes the in-laws even joined us. I was much happier after that, as were the kids.
It is about finding the right balance. Sitting on a sofa for a week is not that balance. |
Anonymous
PP with the inlaws near San Francisco here. They'd yell at us. "No! You're not going to the XYZ museum! You're here to see us! You're staying here!" |
Anonymous
No, it’s not rude. Communicate what you’re doing, and GO! Plan one outing every day — it can be small, like a nearby lake/nature center or big like the aquarium. If you’re staying a week there should be one or two big outings and the rest should be small outings. The key is to be upbeat and happy, invite everyone to join you, but go anyways even if they decline. Ignore any passive aggressive comments. Then you come back full of stories about your adventures to tell everyone at dinner. If grandparents don’t go, have your child bring them backs little token gift each day, like soft pretzels if you’re in Philadelphia, or get the photo at zoo. Make it fun. |
Anonymous
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I let my MIL know my schedule so she can plan meals.
We make sure we have time with them and time out of the house. |
Anonymous
And that would be the last time I visited them. I don't do well with controlling people. These ILs are beyond controlling. |
Anonymous
x1000000 Not anywhere! |
Anonymous
Do you stay with them? OP stays in an airbnb so that might make it easier. If my ILs told me this I'd look at them with a puzzled look and be like "Umm no, we're going to the museum. If you don't want to come, we'll see you at 5." |
Anonymous
| My first thought is that these people must be really sedentary and unhealthy. Sitting around all day every day is extremely bad for your health. |
Anonymous
And invite them to be polite. |
Anonymous
+1. We had a similar dynamic with DH's parents (although we drove there, so I had my own car), and I just did my own thing with one or more of the kids. I invited them along, but they never said yes. This does not seem like a big deal to me. |