Preparing for possible mental illness

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. If your son has no signs of OCD at 18 you are doing pretty well! When did it show up for you?

[Anonymous]

was just going to ask--how old were you OP when you first started having symptoms?

[Anonymous]

Not OP but my mother started being obviously not well when she was 30+. Not sure if there were any signs before as I was too little and my dad too clueless.
So it can start at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

NP. You can have him sign a HIPAA release so that you can have access to his medical information. Also, a medical power of attorney would, I believe, give you decision making authority were he to become incapacitated, though I admit I have no idea what steps you have to go through to "prove" that he is incapacitated. I would also get financial power of attorney so that you have access to his financial accounts, and look into having him sign a FERPA waiver so that you could, in theory, have access to his school records (though I don't think that gives you immediate access to things like attendance records if you are just trying to monitor him.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

This is the way. Be open about your experience with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. If your son has no signs of OCD at 18 you are doing pretty well! When did it show up for you?

High school. I think our biggest concern is that stress exacerbates mine, and what's more stressful than starting college? DH thinks that might trigger it, but who knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. If your son has no signs of OCD at 18 you are doing pretty well! When did it show up for you?

High school. I think our biggest concern is that stress exacerbates mine, and what's more stressful than starting college? DH thinks that might trigger it, but who knows?

So many people have OCD and lead successful and happy lives. And for many of them there are signs of OCD or anxiety much younger than high school. There are many worse fates than OCD or anxiety - as long as it is handled well. It sounds like the only real reason for concern here is that he is going to a military academy where perhaps it may disqualify him. Worst case scenario he will have to transfer to a normal college where OCD will seem much less of an issue to you. It will be what it will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. If your son has no signs of OCD at 18 you are doing pretty well! When did it show up for you?

High school. I think our biggest concern is that stress exacerbates mine, and what's more stressful than starting college? DH thinks that might trigger it, but who knows?

So many people have OCD and lead successful and happy lives. And for many of them there are signs of OCD or anxiety much younger than high school. There are many worse fates than OCD or anxiety - as long as it is handled well. It sounds like the only real reason for concern here is that he is going to a military academy where perhaps it may disqualify him. Worst case scenario he will have to transfer to a normal college where OCD will seem much less of an issue to you. It will be what it will be.

Good reminder. I think I'm personally afraid that DH will blame me if that happens, which is of course a marriage issue, not a mental illness one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

NP. You can have him sign a HIPAA release so that you can have access to his medical information. Also, a medical power of attorney would, I believe, give you decision making authority were he to become incapacitated, though I admit I have no idea what steps you have to go through to "prove" that he is incapacitated. I would also get financial power of attorney so that you have access to his financial accounts, and look into having him sign a FERPA waiver so that you could, in theory, have access to his school records (though I don't think that gives you immediate access to things like attendance records if you are just trying to monitor him.).

No 18 year old is going to go for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

NP. You can have him sign a HIPAA release so that you can have access to his medical information. Also, a medical power of attorney would, I believe, give you decision making authority were he to become incapacitated, though I admit I have no idea what steps you have to go through to "prove" that he is incapacitated. I would also get financial power of attorney so that you have access to his financial accounts, and look into having him sign a FERPA waiver so that you could, in theory, have access to his school records (though I don't think that gives you immediate access to things like attendance records if you are just trying to monitor him.).

No 18 year old is going to go for that.

Especially one who's technically in the military.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

NP. You can have him sign a HIPAA release so that you can have access to his medical information. Also, a medical power of attorney would, I believe, give you decision making authority were he to become incapacitated, though I admit I have no idea what steps you have to go through to "prove" that he is incapacitated. I would also get financial power of attorney so that you have access to his financial accounts, and look into having him sign a FERPA waiver so that you could, in theory, have access to his school records (though I don't think that gives you immediate access to things like attendance records if you are just trying to monitor him.).

No 18 year old is going to go for that.

Mamabear has the legal forms. It’s highly recommended for kids going away for college.

[Anonymous]

It might beneficial for him to have a few sessions with a therpaist (or life coach, if the therapist is a deal breaker) to help him develop some solid stress management skills he can call on if needed. Mediation (maybe a few guided visualizations he can listen to on a phone, for example), good eating habits, etc.. Basically just have a solid plan in place for stress management to hopefully head off problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

NP. You can have him sign a HIPAA release so that you can have access to his medical information. Also, a medical power of attorney would, I believe, give you decision making authority were he to become incapacitated, though I admit I have no idea what steps you have to go through to "prove" that he is incapacitated. I would also get financial power of attorney so that you have access to his financial accounts, and look into having him sign a FERPA waiver so that you could, in theory, have access to his school records (though I don't think that gives you immediate access to things like attendance records if you are just trying to monitor him.).

No 18 year old is going to go for that.

Mine did. He has a mental illness and understood the importance of it.

[Anonymous]

My take is different from most of your posters.

I grew up with an uncle with schizophrenia.

If your son has grown up with a Mom with mental illness believe me, he knows he is at risk.

I would send him off to college and let him have a good college life. I'd stay in touch with him via phone calls weekly and texting.

I would not unduly stress him out that he might get the family mental illness. Stress can cause the mental health genes to turn on.

My brother subsequently was diagnosed with bipolar in his mid twenties. My sister was diagnosed with bipolar in her thirties.

Each had normal college experiences. Nothing would have been gained by stressing them out that they might get mental illness in college. I think all you are doing is adding stress.

If you are staying in touch with you son in college you will know if the family mental illness becomes active and can get him treatment at that time.

Going to college has enough stress on kids. If he grew up with a Mom with mental illness, believe me he knows he is at risk. I knew I was at risk having an uncle with mental illness. Your son might not get mental illness. Why unduly stress him. Treat the disease if it occurs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My take is different from most of your posters.

I grew up with an uncle with schizophrenia.

If your son has grown up with a Mom with mental illness believe me, he knows he is at risk.

I would send him off to college and let him have a good college life. I'd stay in touch with him via phone calls weekly and texting.

I would not unduly stress him out that he might get the family mental illness. Stress can cause the mental health genes to turn on.

My brother subsequently was diagnosed with bipolar in his mid twenties. My sister was diagnosed with bipolar in her thirties.

Each had normal college experiences. Nothing would have been gained by stressing them out that they might get mental illness in college. I think all you are doing is adding stress.

If you are staying in touch with you son in college you will know if the family mental illness becomes active and can get him treatment at that time.

Going to college has enough stress on kids. If he grew up with a Mom with mental illness, believe me he knows he is at risk. I knew I was at risk having an uncle with mental illness. Your son might not get mental illness. Why unduly stress him. Treat the disease if it occurs.

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