Preparing for possible mental illness

[Anonymous]

I'm in recovery from a serious illness and am doing great. The problem is that this condition has a possible genetic component, and while none of my children have shown signs, my senior DS is leaving this summer for a rigorous university. It's crossed my mind that he might develop it while he's away.

I'm not overly anxious about this, but I want to be prepared. With the understanding that I won't see him much, even on school breaks, what should I look out for? Anything I can do now to be prepared?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what the illness is but there is a history of hoarding in my family and it always starts small. First someone “has” to have a dozen jackets for every weather; they buy stuff for future use that just sits there; they have an overflowing pantry which no one thinks much of… until it’s too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what the illness is but there is a history of hoarding in my family and it always starts small. First someone “has” to have a dozen jackets for every weather; they buy stuff for future use that just sits there; they have an overflowing pantry which no one thinks much of… until it’s too late.

It's actually OCD which can present as hoarding, so this is actually very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to have him sign paperwork when he turns 18 so you have medical decision making ability. I did that for my DS with a mental illness.

I actually don't think this is possible in his situation, but I'll look into it.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what the illness is but there is a history of hoarding in my family and it always starts small. First someone “has” to have a dozen jackets for every weather; they buy stuff for future use that just sits there; they have an overflowing pantry which no one thinks much of… until it’s too late.

It's actually OCD which can present as hoarding, so this is actually very helpful.

In my family’s case it was also depression, anxiety and whatnot.
But every time I spot clutter - a lightbulb goes off in my head. Unfortunately I can’t walk around warning people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

THIS. Normalize that mental illness isn't the end of the world and that help is available and effective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

THIS. Normalize that mental illness isn't the end of the world and that help is available and effective.

Unfortunately it would be life-altering for him (the school has medical requirements), which is why DH and I are concerned he might try to hide it. But you're right, we need to do a better job of normalizing it for him anyway.

[Anonymous]

You think the university would have a medical requirement that would preclude your child from attending with ocd? no, that university does not exist.

ocd sucks, but it doesn't involve psychosis. seems to me the obvious thing to do here would be to share your experience with the condition with your child, alert them to the possibility that they may develop it, and let them know there is effective treatment and how they can access that if they develop symptoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think the university would have a medical requirement that would preclude your child from attending with ocd? no, that university does not exist.

ocd sucks, but it doesn't involve psychosis. seems to me the obvious thing to do here would be to share your experience with the condition with your child, alert them to the possibility that they may develop it, and let them know there is effective treatment and how they can access that if they develop symptoms.

Some universities do have medical requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

THIS. Normalize that mental illness isn't the end of the world and that help is available and effective.

Unfortunately it would be life-altering for him (the school has medical requirements), which is why DH and I are concerned he might try to hide it. But you're right, we need to do a better job of normalizing it for him anyway.

Look, it's better to have his college life altered and him healthy and alive than the alternative. We have mental illness and addition in my family and several teen relatives have died due to them and YOU CAN BET I'm having frank conversations, often, with my kids about their risk factors, what it means to seek and get help, and that things can get better, even when they feel dark. Give your kid the tools and information he needs and deserves.

[Anonymous]

They might have medical requirements. Think West Point or the Naval Academy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to him about OCD, how it might feel, and what role genetics plays. Talk to him about how you take care of yourself and help him brainstorm things he can do if he starts to feel off (whether it's OCD or depression or anything else). Normalize talking about mental health.

THIS. Normalize that mental illness isn't the end of the world and that help is available and effective.

Unfortunately it would be life-altering for him (the school has medical requirements), which is why DH and I are concerned he might try to hide it. But you're right, we need to do a better job of normalizing it for him anyway.

Look, it's better to have his college life altered and him healthy and alive than the alternative. We have mental illness and addition in my family and several teen relatives have died due to them and YOU CAN BET I'm having frank conversations, often, with my kids about their risk factors, what it means to seek and get help, and that things can get better, even when they feel dark. Give your kid the tools and information he needs and deserves.

I totally agree! We've had conversations with him before, but they've always been slanted toward me - I don't know that we've ever talked about his risk factors. Good reminder, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Is it a service academy? Those have medical requirements.