Co-worker asking for my birthday

[Anonymous]

Why can’t work just be work?

Anyone else think blurring the lines between work and your real life is just weird?

Work can be fun. It’s nice to occasionally have lunch with colleagues or enjoy a treat in the conference room, but dropping everything for the obligatory celebration just seems unnecessary.

Celebrate retirements.

Celebrate a baby shower if your team is mostly women and the team is close.

I don’t want my coworkers to sing happy birthday to me. Heck, I don’t want to be at work on my birthday…I usually take the day off.

And only celebrate work anniversaries that are milestones: 5, 10, 15, 20, etc.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them it's December 25th. Nobody in the office that day. Also if they group you with all the December babies for a lunch or cake in the breakroom it's easier to fade out because December is busy.

[Anonymous]

I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

Just stop the nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

No. Don't want it. I know some ppl are naturally generous and don't expect anything in return, but for the vast majority, we feel the moral obligation to reciprocate, and you giving gifts where none was expected just creates more work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

Giftcard meaning money? Sure, if the company is paying I'd take one. I would not want one paid by my coworkers.

[Anonymous]

A coworker did this recently for our very small group at a federal agency and now I am not sure what my obligations are. On the soonest birthday, what am I supposed to do for the person? Just say happy birthday? Offer to go to lunch (but we each pay our own way because it’s government)? Everyone has kids and so we don’t do happy hours.

[Anonymous]

Good luck. At one job, I mentioned not wanting anything birthday related and one person stood over my desk singing their soulful and slow rendition of HBD. I didn't know what to do the entire time, stare at them, smile? I hated it.
At another job a coworker asked what I wanted to do and I said I'm not that into it, I would be happiest not celebrating. Well she baked me a nasty cake and I had to eat a couple of bites to not look like an ingrate.
My point is there are some sadistic people who will latch onto you saying you don't want to do something and push it on you even harder so beware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I wish I knew, my parents were killed by a criminal when I was a baby, and now even the thought of my birthday gives me nightmares.”

Bruce 2/19
Pete 8/10

[Anonymous]

Is it just the co-worker or is it encouraged by the section? My workplaces have always made it clear that it is an option to share that information.

My response, if I felt the way you do, would be short and sweet, “No, thank you.” You do not owe any explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

Sounds nice, but this is controlling under the guise of thoughtfulness/generosity

If this is truly about recognizing someone ELSE, you would recognize they do not wish to share this information and you would respect that and shut up about it.

This sounds like it is about what YOU want. You want to be thoughtful, you want to be generous. If you were actually either of those, you would listen to what others tell you and respect their wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

No. Don't want it. I know some ppl are naturally generous and don't expect anything in return, but for the vast majority, we feel the moral obligation to reciprocate, and you giving gifts where none was expected just creates more work.

No - true generosity, is doing what someone else requests, not what you want to do.

They expect something - whether it is to be thought of as considerate or generous by others or by themselves. There is some sort of issue there and they would do well to figuring it out rather than hounding others for PII.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the birthday person in my office. Would you be okay with some kind of private recognition, such as an e-giftcard?

No. Don't want it. I know some ppl are naturally generous and don't expect anything in return, but for the vast majority, we feel the moral obligation to reciprocate, and you giving gifts where none was expected just creates more work.

No - true generosity, is doing what someone else requests, not what you want to do.

They expect something - whether it is to be thought of as considerate or generous by others or by themselves. There is some sort of issue there and they would do well to figuring it out rather than hounding others for PII.

PP here - and I DO share my birthday with the office. I don’t mind at all but it really bothers me when others are harassed after they have made their feelings known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Thanks for the thought, but I don’t want my birthday shared on the team calendar.”

Jehovah Witness?

My company we ask if on your birthday would you like is to order lunch from restaurant of you choice on birthday and we invite any peers you want to attend and we buy them lunch to. We don’t ask your birthday as we already know it.

We don’t publish it and optional. It is called being human. I don’t track who does it or not. I got a capital grill steak with cheesecake my birthday and invited 5-6 people who were nice to me during year

Very clever. By asking where they want to go for lunch you make it clear they can't take the day off. I hope at least on that day you don't make them badge out for lunch, let them have an extra 15 minutes and maybe even allow a personal phone call at their desk.

NP. That’s silly. If I want to take my birthday off I will. No free lunch would compel me to work on a day I didn’t choose to.

[Anonymous]

I don't take my birthday off, usually, but many people do. Having it on the calendar makes it uncomfortably clear why you're off.