5th grade boy teased for being homosexual, even though he isn’t homosexual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sad to say, but he might want to wear different clothes. I have a nephew who his fashionable mom has always dressed him like a little . . . sorry, gay man. Fitted pants rolled up at the ankles, loafer with no socks, bow ties and bowler hats. He was super cute, yes. And he loved the attention. But now, in school, all he was getting is a very negative kind of attention for how he dresses. His younger brother has always refused to dress like that as if sensing early on nothing good comes from it. Hoodies and running shoes for him. Older brother is morphing as well. But it's been painful.

My son wears jeans, sneakers, t-shirts and a turtleneck under the t-shirts in the winter, just like his friends. It has nothing to do with how he dresses.

This is bullying, but lose the jeans. No kids wear jeans anymore.

Um.. what? What do they wear?

Do you live under a rock or something? Every boy older than like 7 years old that I have seen around northern Virginia wears athletic pants as the PP described above. They will wear nicer pants when the occasion calls for it, but to school and for everyday wear it’s sweatpants.

Parents, do your kids a favor, and pay attention to what others are wearing. I remember my own parents being oblivious and hating that I never had the clothes that were “in”. You can say it’s silly to worry about that stuff, but every child wants to fit in. If they have strong opinions about their clothing, then of course, let them wear what they want. But if they are neutral on it, like most boys, then just get them some athletic clothes from Kohl’s or Dick’s. Growing up is hard enough. No need to give jerky kids more reasons to pick on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Yes counselor should be mediating this. Having saud that, your kid might need new friends. These 2 sound like jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven’t already, make a formal report using the word bullying. This meets the definition provided by FCPS:

“ Any aggressive and unwanted behavior that is intended to harm, intimidate, or humiliate the victim; involves a real or perceived power imbalance between the aggressor or aggressors and victim; and is repeated over time or causes severe emotional trauma. “Bullying” includes cyberbullying. “Bullying” does not include ordinary teasing, horseplay, argument, or peer conflict.”

Once you make the report, they are required to investigate the allegation AND all allegations are required to be documented in their system. Within 5 days of your reporting it, all parties (including the other parents) must receive a notice:

“FCPS employees are required to report immediately to the principal or designee any instance of bullying the staff member becomes aware of or witnesses. When a bullying allegation is reported to school administration, the Students Rights and Responsibilities states, "The principal is responsible for investigating and documenting all allegations of bullying. All allegations (whether founded or not) of bullying, including supporting information, shall be recorded in the Bullying and Harassment Management System (BHMS). In connection with any allegation of bullying, and within five school days of the initial report of such to a school official, the principal shall furnish notice regarding the status of the investigation to the parent/guardian of each student allegedly involved."

https://www.fcps.edu/resources/student-safety-and-wellness/bullying-prevention-and-intervention

Your school has no incentive to help your child, but they do have incentive to keep their reported numbers low.

Hold up - stop. The children saddled with the label “bully” will have that on the permanent record.

Do you really want to harm 2 innocent childrens for the rest of their life with this bully label??

lol please. They don’t take any bullying seriously at the school. Even kids using homophobic slurs. And the only “permanent record” is an adult criminal record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I heard back from the counselor and she said the other two boys denied making any comments except that his clothing was forbidden colors (blue and green???), and that unless they are willing to admit making those comments, there is nothing she can do.

Our current school system in action. Of course she could just have said instead that it's not nice to exclude people based on what they wear. If it was a black head covering for Islam I'm sure she'd be saying something different. Since she can get away with this she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven’t already, make a formal report using the word bullying. This meets the definition provided by FCPS:

“ Any aggressive and unwanted behavior that is intended to harm, intimidate, or humiliate the victim; involves a real or perceived power imbalance between the aggressor or aggressors and victim; and is repeated over time or causes severe emotional trauma. “Bullying” includes cyberbullying. “Bullying” does not include ordinary teasing, horseplay, argument, or peer conflict.”

Once you make the report, they are required to investigate the allegation AND all allegations are required to be documented in their system. Within 5 days of your reporting it, all parties (including the other parents) must receive a notice:

“FCPS employees are required to report immediately to the principal or designee any instance of bullying the staff member becomes aware of or witnesses. When a bullying allegation is reported to school administration, the Students Rights and Responsibilities states, "The principal is responsible for investigating and documenting all allegations of bullying. All allegations (whether founded or not) of bullying, including supporting information, shall be recorded in the Bullying and Harassment Management System (BHMS). In connection with any allegation of bullying, and within five school days of the initial report of such to a school official, the principal shall furnish notice regarding the status of the investigation to the parent/guardian of each student allegedly involved."

https://www.fcps.edu/resources/student-safety-and-wellness/bullying-prevention-and-intervention

Your school has no incentive to help your child, but they do have incentive to keep their reported numbers low.

Hold up - stop. The children saddled with the label “bully” will have that on the permanent record.

Do you really want to harm 2 innocent childrens for the rest of their life with this bully label??

Yes, I would. Because if in their whole life there’s one report no one will care and the innocent kids will go on with their lives. But if there are multiple, that says something about maybe they aren’t that innocent. And reports can just say the allegations were unfounded. But when a parent starts advocating for some kind of change or placement, the first thing the school says is usually “this is the first time…” Then the parent can pull out their pile of reports that show it’s not the first time.

[Anonymous]

OP, bring it up with their teacher. Something like this happened to my DD (two kids she thought were friends called her a lesbian in 3rd grade). Their teacher, who is otherwise not a nice person at all, and a horrible teacher, handled it really well. The girls wrote her apology letters, and a year or two later, they went back to being friendly. They're all middle schoolers, and still friendly.

For your son, since the other kids are denying it, it would be important for the teachers to keep an eye on any future interactions, to make sure that nothing further happens.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is bizarre. OP doesn’t know that boys her son’s age wear athletic pants? The counselor said she couldn’t do anything because the kids didn’t admit to using a slur? All counselors do is guide kids on appropriate ways to interact. She can do that regardless of whether everyone agrees on what words were used. Some pp thinks a report that a student bullied a classmate at age 10 will have life long ramifications for the student?

I feel like you’re all from a different planet.

[Anonymous]

What did the teacher say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sad to say, but he might want to wear different clothes. I have a nephew who his fashionable mom has always dressed him like a little . . . sorry, gay man. Fitted pants rolled up at the ankles, loafer with no socks, bow ties and bowler hats. He was super cute, yes. And he loved the attention. But now, in school, all he was getting is a very negative kind of attention for how he dresses. His younger brother has always refused to dress like that as if sensing early on nothing good comes from it. Hoodies and running shoes for him. Older brother is morphing as well. But it's been painful.

My son wears jeans, sneakers, t-shirts and a turtleneck under the t-shirts in the winter, just like his friends. It has nothing to do with how he dresses.

This is bullying, but lose the jeans. No kids wear jeans anymore.

Of course they do! What else would they wear?

The turtleneck might an issue.

- NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is bizarre. OP doesn’t know that boys her son’s age wear athletic pants? The counselor said she couldn’t do anything because the kids didn’t admit to using a slur? All counselors do is guide kids on appropriate ways to interact. She can do that regardless of whether everyone agrees on what words were used. Some pp thinks a report that a student bullied a classmate at age 10 will have life long ramifications for the student?

I feel like you’re all from a different planet.

Not OP, but athletic gear is against the dress code at most schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you live under a rock or something? Every boy older than like 7 years old that I have seen around northern Virginia wears athletic pants as the PP described above. They will wear nicer pants when the occasion calls for it, but to school and for everyday wear it’s sweatpants.

Maybe in public school.

[Anonymous]

File a bully report and send it to the Principal. That is if FCPS has a Bully form like MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the most depressing thing is the absolute rigidity that we expect in boys. We athletic clothes! Or else you're gay? It's so awful and we wonder why men, as a whole, are trash -- we beat their humanity out of them and make them conform from childhood.

[Anonymous]

When do kids wear what they want and stop with the stupid track pants?

[Anonymous]

My son goes to public and doesn’t wear athletic wear. He wears cargo pants usually.