Husband insists he won’t not have motorcycle

[Anonymous]

The two people u know who died very young (right after high school) had motorcycle accidents; it’s incredibly dangerous.

If your DH insists on riding, you must square away life insurance, medical and financial POA, an advance directive, etc. first. Elder care attorneys specialize in this. I’d meet with one together and get all those ducks in a row so your family is as prepared as possible for possible death and disability.

You can’t stop him from riding, but there’s no reason to gloss over the very real risks. Please face them head on.

[Anonymous]

*Two people I know ^

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, LTC and disability insurance, too.

[Anonymous]

I’d not be pleased with a husband who told me something anything was “nonnegotiable”. You will get support because it’s a motorcycle, but the real problem is his attitude. I’d probably divorce over this because I won’t be dictated to by a peer.

Now onto you, op. Did you think the bike was sexy or fun before you had kids? Do you get to ride the bike with him or have your own bike? Does he go out riding and come home not wanting to do fun things with you because he’s already had fun? Does he insist on riding no matter what because “that’s who I am”?
To the poster who wonders why her husband keeps his bike when it just gathers dust, he keeps it because he likes it. I wish I’d hung onto my drum set. I didn’t have space for it when my husband and I got married, though looking back, I should have made the space. It very likely would have gathered dust once we had kids, but oh how I miss it.
To the people predicting doom and gloom, that’s what this board does. It’s doubtful he’ll be sitting home with the home health care worker while you go out, decent men won’t go out with a married woman, so the “dates” will be “come over and f***” during the workday” which means you also won’t be going out on Friday night.
Do get life insurance, long term care insurance and disability insurance. Get a power of attorney that can only be invoked if he’s on life support in the hospital. This isn’t your time to force him to let you make all decisions because the first thing you’d probably do is sell his bike which is abusive, op. You don’t have to like the bike or the husband, you can get rid of the husband, but you can’t manipulate things so you keep the husband and sell his bike because “I’ve got power of attorney”
You’ve also gotten good tips on how he should ride, how he should behave when he does ride, and I’d think about that assuming you still like the husband.

Admittedly op, I’ve got the thrill seeking gene and my dad rode a motorcycle. Dad is still alive for those of you wondering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I’d not be pleased with a husband who told me something anything was “nonnegotiable”. You will get support because it’s a motorcycle, but the real problem is his attitude. I’d probably divorce over this because I won’t be dictated to by a peer.

So you're going to dictate to him (a) that he can't dictate to you, and (b) he can't have a motorcycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The two people u know who died very young (right after high school) had motorcycle accidents; it’s incredibly dangerous.

I knew two guys who rode motorcycles - one got paralyzed and the other one got his leg shattered (surgery, bolts and plates, had to walk with a cane starting at age 22).

But that said I knew other guys who got killed in car accidents. Boys being boys.

[Anonymous]

This is the one rule I have in my marriage. I would honestly forgive cheating over this. I would divorce. Honestly. He's putting your future at risk for what? A thrill? Tell him to go to an amusement park.

[Anonymous]

Rode my motorcycle in the rain
You told me not to drive but I made it home alive so you said that only proves that I'm insaaaaaane

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married almost 20 years to a rider.

When we met he was an amateur road racer (like on a track/full leather knee dragging thing).

He stopped racing before we married but kept a few bikes that he rarely rides.

I still think it is pretty hot seeing him on his bikes.
Our boys skipped that gene and have absolutely zero interest in motorcycles- it’s just his thing and part of the package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Triple his life insurance and let him know that if he’s disabled in a motorcycle accident then you’re not sticking around.

This is how I handled it OP
And disability insurance upped.

[Anonymous]

His odds of dying on a motorcycle are 26x more than in a car.

(Look it up on iihs.org). Ask him how he would feel about the mother of his children taking on that risk voluntarily.

[Anonymous]

Sports bikes are much more dangerous.

Have him get ABS.

[Anonymous]

He is being selfish, immature and irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

It is SO DCUM to give financial advice.
Not everything can be reduced to $$$$

[Anonymous]

My cousin rode a bike to work everyday. One day on his way home someone hit him and he was thrown into a deep culvert bike and all. Driver left him. He laid in the water with broken arms and legs, he drowned. They did not find him for a week. He was so bloated and you know, the funeral home they chose refused to perform their duties. He had to be cremated. The family very Catholic was double devastated.

I was coming home one day and it started raining hard. I was at a red light when I saw a dude coming from an exit on a Harley. I watched him fall. He slid faster than the bike. Had I not been the first one at the light he may have slid right into the traffic and got run over. Thankfully he stopped right before he slammed into me. Good people got out to help him. He was fine.
Thank God.

don't get a bike