Husband insists he won’t not have motorcycle

[Anonymous]

I don’t want a divorce.

I don’t want to be widowed.


The motorcycle is non-negotiable he says.

Married 14 years. 2 kids.

He can afford the actual motorcycle financially. It’s nut short term I’m worried about.


An accident could leave him a quadriplegic needing round the clock care or dead.

Anyone dealt with this?

[Anonymous]

Triple his life insurance and let him know that if he’s disabled in a motorcycle accident then you’re not sticking around.

[Anonymous]

My husband got that out of his system at 19 when he broke his wrist in a motorcycle accident. His brother commuted by motorcycle for a long time, until health issues forced him to give up his bike. He never had an accident, though. A friend of ours still rides, but only on nice weekends, not in commute situations, which makes it safer. So far, no accidents either.

So... yes, motorbikes are dangerous, but you might be inflating the risks a bit.

[Anonymous]

I used to have an M on my license. You couldn't pay me enough to ride in this area.

If you're planning on being somewhere with open roads/better drivers, you can rent a bike. Maybe that's a workable compromise?

[Anonymous]

My DH also refuses to give up his motorcycle. But he hates riding around here, due to the traffic, so it sits in our garage collecting dust and taking up space. He’s ridden it maybe 2 or 3 times a year since we started having kids (9 years ago). He was involved in an accident just before we got married (lady pulled out in front of him in traffic and he had nowhere to go), but fortunately wasn’t seriously hurt, and the bike was salvageable.
Not sure why he is holding onto it, as we have no plans to move until kids are grown and we are retired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Triple his life insurance and let him know that if he’s disabled in a motorcycle accident then you’re not sticking around.

+1, plus disability insurance, and everything else you need to do to financially prepare for his death or disability.

Sadly, insisting on this is the only thing you can do. Also never ever ride with him; as sad as it is to lose one parent, losing two at a time is obviously way worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH also refuses to give up his motorcycle. But he hates riding around here, due to the traffic, so it sits in our garage collecting dust and taking up space. He’s ridden it maybe 2 or 3 times a year since we started having kids (9 years ago). He was involved in an accident just before we got married (lady pulled out in front of him in traffic and he had nowhere to go), but fortunately wasn’t seriously hurt, and the bike was salvageable.
Not sure why he is holding onto it, as we have no plans to move until kids are grown and we are retired.

This is actually more understandable that OP's husband.

He's holding onto it for nostalgic reasons, which is totally fine.

Heck, even if he just sits on it in the garage every now and then, its no big deal. Let him have this memories

[Anonymous]

Blog post about a woman I knew from a mom’s group when my kids were young—died in a motorcycle accident and left two sons.

https://freedomhauntsmysoul.com/category/maida-carpio-scott/

[Anonymous]

I learned to ride a motorcycle at the age of 42. Now, there's a few factors to take into consideration.

1. Why does he want to ride? Is it to relax or for an adrenaline rush? I learned to ride so I could take relaxing rides on weekends and sometimes ride into work.

2. What type of motorcycle is he looking at purchasing? If it's a sport bike that is a red flag. If it's a cruisers it's different. I purchase a cruiser where you sit more upright. It's not about speed. It's about comfort.

3. Where he learns is important. The best motorcycle school train you to realize to always ride defensively. Always assume no one can see you at all times. Always yield to cars, people, etc. You need to have the right mentality for it.

After all these years I have yet to come close to an accident. However, since the pandemic I have not ridden as often since it's clear more and more cars on the road do not pay attention. But, this goes back to when he will ride. If he's riding in a group relaxing on the weekends I wouldn't worry. If he's buying a sports bike and going 90mph weaving through traffic I would worry.

[Anonymous]

meh! Just make sure he's got life insurance and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

RIP Treat Williams


https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2023/08/02/treat-williams-motorcycle-accident-death-driver-charged/70511509007/

He was my dad crush!

[Anonymous]

Motorcycles are a hard no for me. Absolutely no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned to ride a motorcycle at the age of 42. Now, there's a few factors to take into consideration.

1. Why does he want to ride? Is it to relax or for an adrenaline rush? I learned to ride so I could take relaxing rides on weekends and sometimes ride into work.

2. What type of motorcycle is he looking at purchasing? If it's a sport bike that is a red flag. If it's a cruisers it's different. I purchase a cruiser where you sit more upright. It's not about speed. It's about comfort.

3. Where he learns is important. The best motorcycle school train you to realize to always ride defensively. Always assume no one can see you at all times. Always yield to cars, people, etc. You need to have the right mentality for it.

After all these years I have yet to come close to an accident. However, since the pandemic I have not ridden as often since it's clear more and more cars on the road do not pay attention. But, this goes back to when he will ride. If he's riding in a group relaxing on the weekends I wouldn't worry. If he's buying a sports bike and going 90mph weaving through traffic I would worry.

I think that this is a sensible answer.

I ride horses. I used to enjoy riding hot horses and doing high risk sports with them. Now that others are dependent on me, I still ride, but in a much less extreme way. My current horse is young, but she's phlegmatic and built like a sofa.

[Anonymous]

You might first ask him how he plans to deal with his emotions when he smells your perfume and sees you all dressed up to go out on a Friday night while he and the home health aide stay home? I mean hey, he got to have fun with his hobby, why should you live the rest of your life with no intimacy?

Your next step is to look into long-term care, disability and a 10-15x yearly income life insurance policy.

[Anonymous]

The problem is him saying that something is not negotiable. Of course it's negotiable. I'd make his life a living hell if he got one.