Was this tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

OP's gripe seemed to be more-so the (low) food caliber and obligation to bring a dish, not the attendees.

Where did you get this from the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

This is OP and the ‘coffee and donuts’ comment wasn’t from me. As for some comments saying I was fine with the event until I found out it was potluck, I hadn’t committed or said yes to anything i.e. I would run it by the spouse.

Get over it, you were fine with a church event until you found out it was potluck, not steak and lobster.

You are like much of DCUM and consider potlucks tacky and lowbrow. It is entirely understandable that you wish to pursue social events that are high status and will elevate your social status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

This is OP and the ‘coffee and donuts’ comment wasn’t from me. As for some comments saying I was fine with the event until I found out it was potluck, I hadn’t committed or said yes to anything i.e. I would run it by the spouse.

Get over it, you were fine with a church event until you found out it was potluck, not steak and lobster.

You are like much of DCUM and consider potlucks tacky and lowbrow. It is entirely understandable that you wish to pursue social events that are high status and will elevate your social status.

To OP’s point, I think the church person should have explicitly stated this was a potluck and not hide behind the term ‘event’. The whole ‘you’re Asian and should like to celebrate Lunar New Year’ angle is low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

This is OP and the ‘coffee and donuts’ comment wasn’t from me. As for some comments saying I was fine with the event until I found out it was potluck, I hadn’t committed or said yes to anything i.e. I would run it by the spouse.

Get over it, you were fine with a church event until you found out it was potluck, not steak and lobster.

You are like much of DCUM and consider potlucks tacky and lowbrow. It is entirely understandable that you wish to pursue social events that are high status and will elevate your social status.

To OP’s point, I think the church person should have explicitly stated this was a potluck and not hide behind the term ‘event’. The whole ‘you’re Asian and should like to celebrate Lunar New Year’ angle is low.

If OP was offended about being into a Lunar New Year event as an Asian, it wouldn’t matter if the event was potluck or champagne and caviar. Clearly OP cares, so she is free to turn down the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

This is OP and the ‘coffee and donuts’ comment wasn’t from me. As for some comments saying I was fine with the event until I found out it was potluck, I hadn’t committed or said yes to anything i.e. I would run it by the spouse.

Get over it, you were fine with a church event until you found out it was potluck, not steak and lobster.

You are like much of DCUM and consider potlucks tacky and lowbrow. It is entirely understandable that you wish to pursue social events that are high status and will elevate your social status.

To OP’s point, I think the church person should have explicitly stated this was a potluck and not hide behind the term ‘event’. The whole ‘you’re Asian and should like to celebrate Lunar New Year’ angle is low.

If OP was offended about being into a Lunar New Year event as an Asian, it wouldn’t matter if the event was potluck or champagne and caviar. Clearly OP cares, so she is free to turn down the invite.

I think OP feels like she was invited so that she would provide authentic food. It is kind of tacky. The person doing the invite could have brought two dishes since the OP is their guest. Instead it seems like they only invited OP to have her bring food.

[Anonymous]

I think it is tacky. Your friend attends the church and is the member- they bring a dish. You come as the guest, and therefore shouldn’t be expected to contribute to the church’s party food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of church thinks it’s a good idea to recruit newfound members by compelling them to make a homecooked dish to share with complete strangers? I’m with OP on this one being tacky. The way to do it would be for the church to have this event be catered for with the members attending sharing the costs and have new recruits show up and just mingle with no stress about their food, other people’s food etc. The event is missable and nothing screams Lunar New Year about except for getting an Asian person to show up.

I think "tacky" is the wrong word for it, but I agree with the rest of the take.

"Tacky" would be inviting her to an event and letting her discover at the door that there's an entrance fee.

In this case, the invitation seems somewhere between socially inept and racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. Your friend attends the church and is the member- they bring a dish. You come as the guest, and therefore shouldn’t be expected to contribute to the church’s party food

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went out to lunch with a former coworker and former coworker asked if my spouse and I liked to socialize with other couples and then brought up Lunar New Year since my ethic background is Asian. Former coworker starts hyping up an ‘event’ by their church that was also going to celebrate Lunar New Year and promised to send details. I really thought this was going to be an actual event you just show up to. Turns out it’s a potluck that requires ‘Asian food’ and former coworker wants to know what dish I’d like to bring. I feel bamboozled since I feel like former coworker should have been upfront about it being potluck-style from the beginning and I’m only being asked because I fit the demographic they want. Spouse suggested that I explain I don’t do potlucks post-Covid but former coworker knows our office conducts potlucks all the time so I can’t use that excuse. I want to be honest and let former coworker know I don’t want to attend and contribute to a potluck where I only know ONE person and I honestly think it’s weird I was asked since I’m not a church goer either. Anyway, had to get this off my chest and wondered if anyone else thinks how former coworker went about this is tacky?

Not tacky and I think you are overreacting. She thought you might enjoy the event. If not, say no. But most big church activities are, by their nature, potluck or some other inexpensive way to feed a large group

I agree with this. And my family is Asian.

[Anonymous]

Not tacky. I invite friends to my church’s meatless Monday potluck, with zero interest in having them join the church, it’s an entirely non secular event. I tell them that the first time they don’t need to bring a dish, but they usually do anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is tacky. Your friend attends the church and is the member- they bring a dish. You come as the guest, and therefore shouldn’t be expected to contribute to the church’s party food

This.

+1. Or, they tell you up front it’s a potluck and you can make an educated choice.

I only do potlucks with people I know. I would never say yes to one with strangers. Who wants to put in that effort (and eat from people whose hygiene habits you don’t know??)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not tacky. I invite friends to my church’s meatless Monday potluck, with zero interest in having them join the church, it’s an entirely non secular event. I tell them that the first time they don’t need to bring a dish, but they usually do anyway.

This is how our family’s church rolls. Plenty of completely “secular” events (with little more than a generic “blessing” before actually eating). We have very large and vibrant Filipino, Hispanic (heavy on El Salvador …. yum to the pupusas!!), and (oddly enough) German congregants along with Deep Southern flavors. Potluck is absolutely amazing.

Sorry things went awry. Hope you just politely declined and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

OP's gripe seemed to be more-so the (low) food caliber and obligation to bring a dish, not the attendees.

Where did you get this from the OP?

No where. It’s not up thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go, OP. You know the food is going to be trash.

The free coffee & donuts after mass today weren't anything special (I prefer a cappuccino and a croissant) but it was still nice to catch up with a few couples.

But if you're OP you only know one person and have already caught up with them so there's no sense for OP of it being "nice to catch up with a few couples."

This is OP and the ‘coffee and donuts’ comment wasn’t from me. As for some comments saying I was fine with the event until I found out it was potluck, I hadn’t committed or said yes to anything i.e. I would run it by the spouse.

Get over it, you were fine with a church event until you found out it was potluck, not steak and lobster.

You are like much of DCUM and consider potlucks tacky and lowbrow. It is entirely understandable that you wish to pursue social events that are high status and will elevate your social status.

To OP’s point, I think the church person should have explicitly stated this was a potluck and not hide behind the term ‘event’. The whole ‘you’re Asian and should like to celebrate Lunar New Year’ angle is low.

If OP was offended about being into a Lunar New Year event as an Asian, it wouldn’t matter if the event was potluck or champagne and caviar. Clearly OP cares, so she is free to turn down the invite.

I think OP feels like she was invited so that she would provide authentic food. It is kind of tacky. The person doing the invite could have brought two dishes since the OP is their guest. Instead it seems like they only invited OP to have her bring food.

False. Nowhere does OP even hint at that.

[Anonymous]

Tacky is being invited to a church event, finding fault with the invitee and the event (with no good reason!) and then posting about it here!