A shy 7yr old with an April birthday - 2nd v. 3rd grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep him on track. A new school or group of peers might change things for him. Also, he might change some himself. My 7-year-old, a July birthday in second grade, has gone from completely bookish to a sports-obsessed athlete over the past couple months. Both “personas” are just a growing part of who he is.

Same here. 10 year old who has always hated organized sports now plays basketball and comes home talking about football and Travis Kelce. Really hoping it’s just a phase! I kind of preferred when he just ran around and talked Pokémon.

[Anonymous]

I have to assume OP doesn't know the date cutoffs in this area. No one in their right mind would hold back an academically advanced, 50% size, April birthday. That is nuts.

My son has an August birthday and is still not the youngest in his class. April is going to be middle or older than most.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. April is not that young. My DD is the youngest in her grade as a late July birthday and she's doing absolutely FINE. Redshirting has gotten absolutely out of control because of people like you. There are March redshirts in my DD's grade and it's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People will just think he failed a grade if you hold back an April birthday. I’ve heard of June and even that is pushing it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to assume OP doesn't know the date cutoffs in this area. No one in their right mind would hold back an academically advanced, 50% size, April birthday. That is nuts.

My son has an August birthday and is still not the youngest in his class. April is going to be middle or older than most.

Agreed but is there anywhere in the country where the age cut off is May or June? I know in NY state it's December but that still wouldn't make any sense for OP.

This is one of the weirder red shirting questions I've seen asked on here, and I always read the red shirting threads because like you I have an August birthday we didn't redshirt and I'm always curious what the conventional wisdom is on that because it was a hard choice for us (and I've kind of concluded it's hard either way because there are downsides both to being the youngest and the oldest). I've always envied parents with kids who have winter or spring birthdays because they don't have to think about this.

[Anonymous]

Anyone know if it's common to redshirt April boys (starting in preschool) at St. Patricks, Beauvoir, etc? Those are the places where this is likeliest to happen. I know June is pretty routine at this point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An April birthday is in the middle of the year, there’s no way he is the youngest in the class. I have heard of people redshirting kids with September or late August birthdays, but not April. If he is already ahead of the curve academically, he will be bored. And what kind of message does it send that he has to do second grade again because he is shy? He has to keep repeating it until you’re satisfied he plays enough sports at recess? This is just his personality! Let him be who he wants!! He will make new friends in a new place. Sitting through another second grade year is definitely going to do more harm to his self worth and I can’t see anything positive coming from it.

This x100!!! What the heck, OP? I am not anti-redshirt or repeating a grade but this is not a good case for it.

[Anonymous]

No to the redshirting. Make more of an effort to link up with kids like him (not sporty). It may even be easier than you expect in a new place.

[Anonymous]

My county would not let you do this. April is crazy to redshirt! And I'm someone who did redshirt my August boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is an April birthday, too. I wouldn’t think of redshirting him. Even though he is on the younger side for his class, there are plenty of younger kids and many right around his age. Also, at this point, it would be more like holding him back and would likely crush his self esteem. Please do not do this.

My daughter has a late April birthday, like April 29. I can empathize with you OP. With all of the redshirting (where we are 99% of kids who are born June 1 onwards are redshirted, girls and boys) a late April birthday is basically the equivalent of being born in late July in the 80s or 90s. It feels like everyone except for you and me is in an arms race to have the oldest child. Anyway, my daughter’s best friend from preschool is a boy and he was born a week earlier and his parents held him back a year. He’s really smart and very calm. He’s small (I guess, he doesn’t look particularly small to me but that is what his mom said; fwiw his parents are small - his dad is like 5’8) and on the quiet side and even though he got into a great private school they talked to the school about their concerns and the school said that he could do a “soft” application the following year and spend another year in preschool. So it happens, OP. I would say don’t do it and that all of this redshirting is bananas and if a child is smart and has a good work ethic they will do fine if they are one of the youngest students or one of the oldest students but a lot of literature suggests being an older student is better. Of course there are many anecdotes that prove exceptions to this rule are not uncommon but we all know that we shouldn’t consider ourselves or our kids exceptions. Statistically that doesn’t work out well. So just do what you want!

[Anonymous]

Redshirting is something to consider only when the child has a birthday less than a month before the cutoff and the child is immature in multiple aspects. Even then, it is not necessarily the best choice for every child.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't if it's just due to shyness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An April birthday is in the middle of the year, there’s no way he is the youngest in the class. I have heard of people redshirting kids with September or late August birthdays, but not April. If he is already ahead of the curve academically, he will be bored. And what kind of message does it send that he has to do second grade again because he is shy? He has to keep repeating it until you’re satisfied he plays enough sports at recess? This is just his personality! Let him be who he wants!! He will make new friends in a new place. Sitting through another second grade year is definitely going to do more harm to his self worth and I can’t see anything positive coming from it.

April is a common redshirt month now. I have May kids and they are the youngest and have many kids who are over 12 months older than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An April birthday is in the middle of the year, there’s no way he is the youngest in the class. I have heard of people redshirting kids with September or late August birthdays, but not April. If he is already ahead of the curve academically, he will be bored. And what kind of message does it send that he has to do second grade again because he is shy? He has to keep repeating it until you’re satisfied he plays enough sports at recess? This is just his personality! Let him be who he wants!! He will make new friends in a new place. Sitting through another second grade year is definitely going to do more harm to his self worth and I can’t see anything positive coming from it.

April is a common redshirt month now. I have May kids and they are the youngest and have many kids who are over 12 months older than them.

I am so curious where people think the line should be drawn. I personally know March redshirted kids. I'm in a moms FB group where more than one mom has asked about redshirting January and February kids and people are validating it as a normal choice.

To be transparent, I'm the PP with a late July girl that went on time and to my knowledge, she's the absolute youngest in her grade. I'm not ANTI redshirt, but I'm not pro-redshirt in the way that many people use redshirting - solely to have their child to be the oldest or "give them the gift of time" (that one is particularly irritating). Certainly there are cases for redshirting - learning disabilities, behavior issues, extreme immaturity - for those that are within a month of two of the cut off. But perfectly typical children that are born 5-6+ months before the cut off (ours is 9/1)... that is just WILD to me and I would be embarrassed to have such little faith in my kid to do this to them.

Is my non-redshirted July kid the smartest in her class? No. But she's smart and works hard. Is she the most mature kid in her grade? No, but pretty close to it. Respectful and responsible. Is she the most talented? I have no idea. Luckily she's in an activity where her actual birthdate matters, not her grade, so she's on an even playing field there. She's even one of the tallest for her grade. Have faith in your kids and send them and know IT'S OK for them to not be the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An April birthday is in the middle of the year, there’s no way he is the youngest in the class. I have heard of people redshirting kids with September or late August birthdays, but not April. If he is already ahead of the curve academically, he will be bored. And what kind of message does it send that he has to do second grade again because he is shy? He has to keep repeating it until you’re satisfied he plays enough sports at recess? This is just his personality! Let him be who he wants!! He will make new friends in a new place. Sitting through another second grade year is definitely going to do more harm to his self worth and I can’t see anything positive coming from it.

April is a common redshirt month now. I have May kids and they are the youngest and have many kids who are over 12 months older than them.

I am so curious where people think the line should be drawn. I personally know March redshirted kids. I'm in a moms FB group where more than one mom has asked about redshirting January and February kids and people are validating it as a normal choice.

To be transparent, I'm the PP with a late July girl that went on time and to my knowledge, she's the absolute youngest in her grade. I'm not ANTI redshirt, but I'm not pro-redshirt in the way that many people use redshirting - solely to have their child to be the oldest or "give them the gift of time" (that one is particularly irritating). Certainly there are cases for redshirting - learning disabilities, behavior issues, extreme immaturity - for those that are within a month of two of the cut off. But perfectly typical children that are born 5-6+ months before the cut off (ours is 9/1)... that is just WILD to me and I would be embarrassed to have such little faith in my kid to do this to them.

Is my non-redshirted July kid the smartest in her class? No. But she's smart and works hard. Is she the most mature kid in her grade? No, but pretty close to it. Respectful and responsible. Is she the most talented? I have no idea. Luckily she's in an activity where her actual birthdate matters, not her grade, so she's on an even playing field there. She's even one of the tallest for her grade. Have faith in your kids and send them and know IT'S OK for them to not be the best.

I personally think barring a legit disability that requires a doctors note, it should be within 1 month of the cut off. Make it a little harder to do this. My kids are May and there are kids 18m older on their class who were redshirted for sports or the extra boost. It just creates a very uneven playing field and makes the spring/summer kids appear behind or immature when they are being compared to 7 year olds in K.