A shy 7yr old with an April birthday - 2nd v. 3rd grade
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Anonymous
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We are relocating to the area and as is, DS will enter 3rd grade in September. However, this likely is our only/last chance for us to reverse? a decision we made with putting him as one of the youngest kindergarteners. It wasn't an easy decision and while he has adjusted, he has had difficulties, socially. We have often wondered if he would have fared better if he was one of the oldest kids in the class.
A bit about DS: He is a little shy, sensitive, and loves to read and do arts & crafts. In 1st grade, the "jocks" excluded him from recess sports and that had a huge impact on him unfortunately. He has always scored 50% in height and weight so I don't think size was an issue. He is actually decent in sports but still refuses to play sports at school during recess. He is caring and is very good with younger kids, etc. Would he feel more confident if he were to repeat 2nd grade in a new area/school, come September? He excels academically so one major consideration for us is that he might get bored. We are also trying to decide private v. public currently (he's been in a private school since kindergarten) and if we were to put him in a public school, we are thinking repeating 2nd grade makes good sense. Appreciate your thoughts! |
Anonymous
| An April birthday is in the middle of the year, there’s no way he is the youngest in the class. I have heard of people redshirting kids with September or late August birthdays, but not April. If he is already ahead of the curve academically, he will be bored. And what kind of message does it send that he has to do second grade again because he is shy? He has to keep repeating it until you’re satisfied he plays enough sports at recess? This is just his personality! Let him be who he wants!! He will make new friends in a new place. Sitting through another second grade year is definitely going to do more harm to his self worth and I can’t see anything positive coming from it. |
Anonymous
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Where are you coming from? This area is more nerdy/less sporty than lots of places.
If you go to public school, your kid will absolutely be middle of the pack age-wise. I definitely would not redshirt. If you go private, talk to the school to get a sense of the ages and dynamic in the grade - more private kids are held back around here than public, in my experience. |
Anonymous
+1 Totally different conversation with a summer birthday (I have a summer birthday we didn't redshirt and we have discussed the pros/cons of repeating a grade if we move for MS -- I can see arguments for and against). But with an April birthday, you actually risk making him an outcast by putting him in 2nd grade with a bunch of younger kids, some of whom are over a year younger. The goal if you are moving a kid should be to put him with the cohort where he will be most average. Kids have a very strong need to fit in, and being new makes you stand out. Don't also make him stand out as the oldest in class (and he will definitely not be the youngest). |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. There's no way he is the youngest in the class. As PP said, this is his personality. Stop trying to over manage this. Also, don't assume that you can simply dictate what grade he goes into. That is a principal, not a parent, decision. There's no way a school wants to have a kid turning 13 in the spring of their 6th grade. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. And fast forward--do you really want your kid graduating from high school as a 19 year old??? |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. He is not young, he is shy. This is not a fault, it just is. Repeating a grade isn't going to fix it because there's nothing to fix. |
Anonymous
| My daughter is born in late July and she is 8, in 3rd grade. There are kids in her class that are 10 - I can't imagine being 10 and in a class with kids that are nearly 2 years younger than them. That means that they won't graduate high school until 19 or close to 20. No thanks. |
Anonymous
| My child is an April birthday, too. I wouldn’t think of redshirting him. Even though he is on the younger side for his class, there are plenty of younger kids and many right around his age. Also, at this point, it would be more like holding him back and would likely crush his self esteem. Please do not do this. |
Anonymous
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What is the cutoff where you are coming from? I grew up with a late May birthday and a June 1 cut-off, so I was youngest. My husband grew up with an August BD, but a Dec 1 cutoff - so he was in the middle.
Virginia has a September 30th cutoff, so July-September kids are youngest. Jan - April birthdays feel like the sweet spot in the DMV for maturity and age compared to peers. For comparison, my July kid has classmates who are 10-14 months older than him and my November kid is bored the first half of each school year. |
Anonymous
| Never considered redshirting our late June birthday kid. So, no. |
Anonymous
My DS has a May birthday and is nowhere near the youngest in class. I would not hold him back. |
Anonymous
| You’ll find a lot less redshirting in public school. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t hold a kid back with a spring birthday especially if they’re excelling academically. My spring birthday kids were never the youngest in the class. I redshirted my late July kid for kindergarten but he was behind academically and now still struggles in K. |
Anonymous
| My April boy is the youngest in his private lower elementary class. We are not happy about it but feel redshirting an April boy is pushing things too far. |
Anonymous
| April? Yes you send. Some kids are shy, focus on helping him with his confidence, but you don’t need to hold back. |