Kid reading sexually graphic writing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean I definitely went through a VC Andrews stage at 12-13. That stuff is way more dirty

Me too. My mom drove me to the drugstore so I could buy one of the books. I don't think she ever knew what it was lol.

I don't censor my teen's reading. At least steamy books today usually include safe sex.

[Anonymous]

If your daughter is reading a hockey romance, your son should be watching Shoresy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my 7th grader, who has struggled in reading, how started reading romance novels. No problem, right?! Except there’s now a book (and it isn’t the first one, being traded around school-think it’s gone viral on tiktok) and it has very sexually graphic scenes in it. It’s otherwise just a regular love story as far as I can tell. I remember passing around contraband too (anyone remember Wifey lol) but I was an older teen. Mine is 13.

Would you let it go? Btdt? How to handle?

This is wildly inappropriate because someone that young is too immature to truly understand/ process graphic human sexuality, as they are years away from ever experiencing its intensity.

Unless, of course, the 7th grader is lgtbqia+ in which case they totally need to see it in graphic novels, specifically in the public school library.

[Anonymous]

I read The Happy Hooker at that age. (She has sex with a dog) It didn't traumatize me or make me have a weird relationship with sex.
But I also had a copy of healthy sex information book - Dr. Ruth. So I would make sure she has access to a similar book.

I've just started getting back into reading/listening to romance books recently. Many contemporary romance books, especially the ones that aren't dark, are very focused on female pleasure and consent. At every part of the encounter, the MMC (male main character) will check in with the FMC (female main character) to make sure she still wants to continue.
The only thing I think you need to talk with DD about is how unrealistic the books can be:
-- not every guy has a giant dong,
-- not every woman can have O's with PIV,
-- IRL when a guy starts calling you "mine" and is possessive, it's a red flag,
--having great sex doesn't mean the person will make a great life partner.

There is a HUGE hockey sub genre. I hate sports, but I've read so many hockey romances LOL But the hockey players aren't stereotypical dumb jocks. They are very respectful of FMC (or other MMC, because gay hockey books are a thing). The one thing I don't like is Puck Bunnies. They try not to slut shame, but it is obvious that they will never be a love interest.

If you want more information about romance books, go to reddit/romancebooks. That would be a great place to ask a question like OP asked. Also, to find more information about how spicy a book is, go to https://www.romance.io/

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but the book is clearly Icebreaker. And it is pornographic - really graphic descriptions of sex, and some dominant male gender speak as well. I'm pretty flexible but this was a hard no for me.

My daughter was talked into buying it when shopping with her friends - fortunately her older brother ratted her out when she was only 20 pages in. I returned it - as soon as I said at the counter that my 12 year old had purchased the book the sales guy said "What! Oh no..." and refunded it. So she can go buy something else!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your daughter is reading a hockey romance, your son should be watching Shoresy.

This sentence makes no sense to me (and I know that's my problem and I should probably learn what it means before my kids get interested in any of this, but still)

[Anonymous]

Honest question: what is it about hockey that is appealing to these romance novels?

Or is it just this one book?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: what is it about hockey that is appealing to these romance novels?

Or is it just this one book?

It's a good backdrop for men with friendships, the difficulty of traveling (if professional), dealing with fame (if professional), and competition. I really could be about any sport, but hockey is the latest hot setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: what is it about hockey that is appealing to these romance novels?

Or is it just this one book?

I am qualified to answer this, lol.

First of all, the people who are reading hockey romances probably aren't reading *just* hockey romances. In this sort of modern trashy romance novel genre, there are other sports romances, like football romances (although Susan Elizabeth Phillips has been writing football romances for decades, I guess), and then there are small town romances, mafia romances, college romances, paranormal romances, etc. So it's not just hockey.

Also, hockey players are tall, strong, and talented, and an author can then round out the fantasy by giving the male leads good personalities and an obsession with an average girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question: what is it about hockey that is appealing to these romance novels?

Or is it just this one book?

According to Good Reads, there are 674 hockey romance books

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they problem with romance novels is it gives young girls an unhealthy view of relationships (with some exceptions) that romanticize alpha males and sex vs love. I remember as a young teen wishing that my future husband and I have great chemistry/sex life not realizing that’s actually a small part of marriage. Obviously porn is similarly skewed for adolescent males. So I would just talk to her about what’s silly about the books (and the porn her male classmates are inevitably looking at) without being too judgmental.

You’re thinking of those old cheesy formula romance novels with the muscular male and half dressed female. I doubt it’s one of them.

There are a lot of books written for teens that have rape scenes, violence, sexually explicit language. There’s a huge market for them

[Anonymous]

We don't censor books so I would have no problem with it.

Smutty fanfic is one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

Prep by Curtis Sittenflled was released when my oldest was 13/14. She and all her friends read it and passed it around because of the 'scandalous' loss of virginity scene.

When I was her age, Rain by VC Andrews was the book we all passed around because it too had a loss of virginity scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your daughter is reading a hockey romance, your son should be watching Shoresy.

Canadian humor, gotta love it.

Those series like Icebreaker are young teen books. They aren’t meant for adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:VC Andrews wasn’t super graphic like porn though.

I beg to differ. There are a few lines stuck in my head from 30 years ago that I can't believe I read as an 8th grader.

That said, it didn't kill me, and I'm glad that today's smutty novels have far fewer of the rapist turned lover tropes that abounded in the 80's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell the kid "I am SO glad you've taken an interest in reading! I hope this helps make reading easier for you. I want you to know I read stuff like this at your age too, so if you have any questions feel free to talk to me."

And then I'd go read the book so I'm ready.

This is my approach as well and I'm in the same boat. My 7th grader also deep into romance novels with her group of friends. I am so happy that she is reading and I don't like to censor books.