Kid reading sexually graphic writing
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Anonymous
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So my 7th grader, who has struggled in reading, how started reading romance novels. No problem, right?! Except there’s now a book (and it isn’t the first one, being traded around school-think it’s gone viral on tiktok) and it has very sexually graphic scenes in it. It’s otherwise just a regular love story as far as I can tell. I remember passing around contraband too (anyone remember Wifey lol) but I was an older teen. Mine is 13.
Would you let it go? Btdt? How to handle? |
Anonymous
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I would tell the kid "I am SO glad you've taken an interest in reading! I hope this helps make reading easier for you. I want you to know I read stuff like this at your age too, so if you have any questions feel free to talk to me."
And then I'd go read the book so I'm ready. |
Anonymous
Name the book/author. |
Anonymous
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My DD did this around the same age. We were just laughing about this over the weekend. Apparently, it's very common among her peers.
At the time, DD never did it again because she was too embarrassed that we found out. It's totally normal. I wouldn't make a huge deal about it. |
Anonymous
| I think they problem with romance novels is it gives young girls an unhealthy view of relationships (with some exceptions) that romanticize alpha males and sex vs love. I remember as a young teen wishing that my future husband and I have great chemistry/sex life not realizing that’s actually a small part of marriage. Obviously porn is similarly skewed for adolescent males. So I would just talk to her about what’s silly about the books (and the porn her male classmates are inevitably looking at) without being too judgmental. |
Anonymous
| I was definitely reading graphic stuff younger than 13. The nice thing is these days, there are so many better depictions of consent, healthy relationships, etc. in modern books. I would find some similar to what she's reading and check they take a healthy approach. |
Anonymous
Book banner urgently wants to do some "research". |
Anonymous
| Great! This should make your kid a stronger reader! |
Anonymous
Uh, I grew up in NYC and never EVER thought I'd be having sex on a horse with a man who looked like Fabio while galloping through the countryside. I knew damn well there was something weird about the consent aspect - the women were always desperate to be saved and had sex with the man who rescued them because they were grateful and mistook that emotion for attraction to a conventionally attractive man. I liked guys like Joey McIntyre and Jordan Knight who could sing and dance yet were straight. I liked looking at Marky Mark in those CK ads, but thought "He's the kind of boyfriend who'd cheat and then make it seem like the girlfriend's fault he "had" to cheat." I didn't read or watch sexually explicit stuff and aspire to it. I grew up in a home where my father came home after work every day and rolled up his sleeves to do laundry and cook dinner while helping with homework. I grew up in a family where no aunts and uncles got divorced, nobody was an alcoholic or abusive and the one person who won a Grammy in our family is female. The one time someone got sloppily drunk at a bat mitzvah a few uncles ushered him out, and safely drove him home with his wife, then the aunts checked on the wife that night and the next morning (I was told about this years after the fact). |
Anonymous
| If it's reading, I'd allow it: Assuming this is a typical romance novel. |
Anonymous
I want to know what the book is too! A lot of modern, explicit romance novels show great portrayals of healthy sexuality including consent, safe sex practices, diverse representation, etc. When I was subbing I saw kids reading a Jasmine Guillory novel and I thought it was great. But there are others that are popular right now that are extremely problematic, like Haunting Adeline. OP is the book a hockey romance, by chance? I wouldn't worry about it if it was. If it was something that is so bad the author needed to add a million trigger warnings in the introduction, I'd have one of those awkward awful sex conversations. I would absolutely not tell her what to read though, not at this age. It'll backfire terribly. |
Anonymous
| I don’t actually care about the romance part of it and I am nowhere close to a book banner/censor. I actually make my living in the industry. I LOVE the fact that she’s reading. But the few pages I saw were basically, porn — the language, description, etc. Fine for an adult or an older teen….I just paused for my kid. |
Anonymous
| Yes PP, it’s a hockey/ice skater romance |
Anonymous
What was the book? |
Anonymous
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Hmmm... That feels a little young to me too (and I have a 12 yr old DD).
I think I would sort of take a "talk about it" approach instead of a "ban" though. Mention you realize this novel has sexually explicit writing. Discuss that many romance novels do as well, and that many adults enjoy them. Discuss that I read some of those books when I was her age, but it those scenes sometimes felt "too much" or uncomfortable to read (which is true for me!). Discuss whether she may want to hold off until later for these types of books, when adult content may make more sense... by this point, she is probably talked out of reading another so perhaps I have surreptitiously met my goal! Though if indeed DD disagrees, then I would expect her to continue reading such books, and at that point I don't see much point in trying to "forbid" them given that this will just push her to read them on the DL... |