How much notice to give when quitting a volunteer role?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Boy Scouts similar with this everyone needs to be involved and volunteer dynamic? I had been thinking about having DS join (2nd grade) but he has a Saturday activity and 3-4 activities during the week, so I’m not sure we’d be able to attend every BS event.

This is not to say OP’s situation is not unfair! I think she’s done more than her share.

It depends on the Troop/Pack in Scouts BSA. My sons Troop has 65 active Scouts, at different levels of activity. We don't need all of those Scouts to have active parents. We do need a minimum of 3 adult leaders, with proper training, for any over night activity. Some activities we look for 4 adults, like backpacking, skiing, hiking, and water sports. That allows us to maintain 2 deep leadership in case of an emergency. Two adults can go with the Scout and two adults stay with the remaining Scouts. More adult volunteers mean that we have 6 adults who have completed Wilderness First Aid, a requirement for any activity that will be 1 mile from a road, so backpacking, water sports, high adventure camps, and the like. This makes it easier for us to plan activities and spread out the load on the Adult volunteers. We have plenty of parents who do nothing and a good number who help with organizing one event a year. Then you have the Committee and Scoutmaster/Assistant Scout Masters who are more active out of necessity. We also realize burn out so we rotate the Scoutmaster and Committee Chair position every 2 years.

Cub Scouts is a different beast and depends on the Pack. Parents are allowed to drop off starting in 2nd grade, most of the parents hang out at the meetings because wrangling 8-10 2nd graders is a task in and of itself. Our Pack had a rule that parents helped run one Den meeting with the Den Leader, that meant there would be 3 adults to help with the wrangling. Parents have to camp with their kids for Cub Scouts.

Activity wise, all of Scouts BSA is based on what the kid wants to do. We have kids in our Troop that are fully in on Scouts and knocked out the first 4 ranks and a ton of merit badges in their first year. We have kids who have been in the Troop for 3 years and have completed 4 merit badges and one rank. Kids can be as active as they want and do the things that they want to do. For some that is everything, I would say there are 40 kids who are fully engaged in the Troop and attend most of the meetings and activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Boy Scouts similar with this everyone needs to be involved and volunteer dynamic? I had been thinking about having DS join (2nd grade) but he has a Saturday activity and 3-4 activities during the week, so I’m not sure we’d be able to attend every BS event.

This is not to say OP’s situation is not unfair! I think she’s done more than her share.

It depends on the Troop/Pack in Scouts BSA. My sons Troop has 65 active Scouts, at different levels of activity. We don't need all of those Scouts to have active parents. We do need a minimum of 3 adult leaders, with proper training, for any over night activity. Some activities we look for 4 adults, like backpacking, skiing, hiking, and water sports. That allows us to maintain 2 deep leadership in case of an emergency. Two adults can go with the Scout and two adults stay with the remaining Scouts. More adult volunteers mean that we have 6 adults who have completed Wilderness First Aid, a requirement for any activity that will be 1 mile from a road, so backpacking, water sports, high adventure camps, and the like. This makes it easier for us to plan activities and spread out the load on the Adult volunteers. We have plenty of parents who do nothing and a good number who help with organizing one event a year. Then you have the Committee and Scoutmaster/Assistant Scout Masters who are more active out of necessity. We also realize burn out so we rotate the Scoutmaster and Committee Chair position every 2 years.

Cub Scouts is a different beast and depends on the Pack. Parents are allowed to drop off starting in 2nd grade, most of the parents hang out at the meetings because wrangling 8-10 2nd graders is a task in and of itself. Our Pack had a rule that parents helped run one Den meeting with the Den Leader, that meant there would be 3 adults to help with the wrangling. Parents have to camp with their kids for Cub Scouts.

Activity wise, all of Scouts BSA is based on what the kid wants to do. We have kids in our Troop that are fully in on Scouts and knocked out the first 4 ranks and a ton of merit badges in their first year. We have kids who have been in the Troop for 3 years and have completed 4 merit badges and one rank. Kids can be as active as they want and do the things that they want to do. For some that is everything, I would say there are 40 kids who are fully engaged in the Troop and attend most of the meetings and activities.

Thanks this is helpful. I think DS would WANT to do every Scouts activity but he is busy and things like sports teams don’t even have a set game time or day until all the sign up periods for activities are way over. I see these kids who seem to be in 2 sports every season and Scouts and I don’t know how - I guess we know a couple kids on each sport team who signed up and just didn’t show up to most games and practices. I assume because they had activity conflicts. I don’t know if BS troops are ok with this level of involvement?

[Anonymous]

Girl Scouts differs most from BSA in how much parent involvement is allowed/required. Because its ethos is all about it being “girl-led”, or at least building toward that, adults are present only in minimum, required amounts for safety ratios and supervision. So a troop of the youngest girls, Daisies, would need to have 2 registered, trained and background-checked adult volunteers present for each group of 12 girls. Parents who are not registered and background-checked are explicitly prohibited from being at meetings and events unless it’s a specific family-oriented event.

This requirement makes it more complicated to message to families how necessary volunteer involvement is vs. Cub Scouts, which starts out with a mandatory requirement that a parent is present.

[Anonymous]

I keep brainstroming ways to make this work for you and keep the troop going...

If you're willing to be the signup genius guru in addition to the outdoor person, I'd create a signup genius for meeting leaders. Tell all families that any meeting that doesn't have a leader at least a week in advance will be cancelled. Tell them sooner rather. I'd also let your service unit manager what's going on, as she may be able to help train/recruit/cajole some of the parents.

Also, absolutely don't be the cookie manager next year. Either someone else steps up or you don't sell cookies. This troop sounds like one where the parents would be far happier paying dues and not selling cookies. That's fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep brainstroming ways to make this work for you and keep the troop going...

If you're willing to be the signup genius guru in addition to the outdoor person, I'd create a signup genius for meeting leaders. Tell all families that any meeting that doesn't have a leader at least a week in advance will be cancelled. Tell them sooner rather. I'd also let your service unit manager what's going on, as she may be able to help train/recruit/cajole some of the parents.

Also, absolutely don't be the cookie manager next year. Either someone else steps up or you don't sell cookies. This troop sounds like one where the parents would be far happier paying dues and not selling cookies. That's fine!

Thanks. This all started with a signup genius that stayed empty, but otherwise that might have worked.

I think the troop is 50/50 people who would love to just pay dues vs. families who are hyping the whole cookie entrepreneur/girlboss thing while doing all the legwork for their girls so they can sell thousands of boxes and get Top Seller awards.

(P.S. as an actual entrepreneur and boss, I’d argue it is Not A Thing, but that’s irrelevant to this conversation)

[Anonymous]

I am at the end of my rope with the parents of a team I coach, but I made a commitment to the kids, including my own kid, and I will finish the school year. I will have a long talk with my husband when the year is over and determine what my boundaries are for whether I can do it again next year. If the parents say they will do XYZ to help and then they don’t come through, I will have no choice but to finish out that year too. It sucks because it’s important to the kids and I feel like parents know there is no real consequence because I won’t punish their kid for a parent’s actions (or lack of actions).

Scouts is not do-able alone. I would finish out the school year and then send a carefully worded letter spelling out what you can and cannot do next year.

No one volunteers to coordinate cookie sales? Girls don’t sell cookies.
No one steps up to plan a camping trip? Girls don’t go camping.

My husband is a Den leader and he plans out the minimum activities to get the kids to the next level and organizes 2 make up days at the end of the year. Beyond that, he sends a list of optional activities and excursions to the parents along with the pack-wide calendar and offers to provide info and materials to anyone who wants to organize the “nice to have” items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am at the end of my rope with the parents of a team I coach, but I made a commitment to the kids, including my own kid, and I will finish the school year. I will have a long talk with my husband when the year is over and determine what my boundaries are for whether I can do it again next year. If the parents say they will do XYZ to help and then they don’t come through, I will have no choice but to finish out that year too. It sucks because it’s important to the kids and I feel like parents know there is no real consequence because I won’t punish their kid for a parent’s actions (or lack of actions).

Scouts is not do-able alone. I would finish out the school year and then send a carefully worded letter spelling out what you can and cannot do next year.

No one volunteers to coordinate cookie sales? Girls don’t sell cookies.
No one steps up to plan a camping trip? Girls don’t go camping.

My husband is a Den leader and he plans out the minimum activities to get the kids to the next level and organizes 2 make up days at the end of the year. Beyond that, he sends a list of optional activities and excursions to the parents along with the pack-wide calendar and offers to provide info and materials to anyone who wants to organize the “nice to have” items.

Thank you! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too, but I feel less alone. There is a big incentive mismatch when it comes to kids’ activities, because if parents back away it’s the kids who feel the consequences, not the adults who don’t volunteer.

I grew up in the 80s and remember moms and dads rushing from offices to make our activities happen. We had a soccer coach dad who would throw his suit jacket off, flip his tie back and throw on sneakers to run up and down the field to take us through drills. I remember moms taking off their pantyhose and heels in the locker room so they could stand barefoot by the blocks to be timers at swim meets. When I think of my childhood, I can name a long list of moms and dads who weren’t parents of my close friends but were special adults in my life because they volunteered. It was considered a normal part being part of a community.

I don’t see that now- volunteers are treated like chumps, like the employees of other parents, or looked down on as having jobs that aren’t important enough that they can use them to get out of volunteering, depending on the perspective of other parents.

[Anonymous]

I also wonder if one of the issues is that volunteering has become so Type A, formalized and like a job, that for those of us with jobs, we just don’t want to spend our time doing those kinds of tasks. I am involved in our synagogue and have ended up as a committee chair. It is like a job, submitting budgets, editing newsletters etc. I have a job and I just don’t want to spend my time doing this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also wonder if one of the issues is that volunteering has become so Type A, formalized and like a job, that for those of us with jobs, we just don’t want to spend our time doing those kinds of tasks. I am involved in our synagogue and have ended up as a committee chair. It is like a job, submitting budgets, editing newsletters etc. I have a job and I just don’t want to spend my time doing this at all.

I often feel uncomfortable volunteering and would never volunteer to be a coach or leader because these days people are so critical. I’m not a pro, I don’t play x sport, so as “just a parent,” I don’t feel qualified to coach. Whereas when we were growing up, I think many more parents could coach. I volunteer in other ways and for one off events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also wonder if one of the issues is that volunteering has become so Type A, formalized and like a job, that for those of us with jobs, we just don’t want to spend our time doing those kinds of tasks. I am involved in our synagogue and have ended up as a committee chair. It is like a job, submitting budgets, editing newsletters etc. I have a job and I just don’t want to spend my time doing this at all.

That’s a great point. Even the minimum safety requirements take as much time as onboarding at a basic job and everything seems to require bureaucratic/administrative work.

To volunteer at school, I had to attend an in-person workshop on a weekday and take tests and do a background check. To volunteer at swim meets, I had to attend a clinic, do a background check, and take multiple Safesport classes. At one point they wanted us to be responsible for chasing down parents’ registration paperwork, meet RSVPs, and other administrative details.

To be a Girl Scout leader, I had to do a background check and a minimum of 4 hours of online training from our Council. To do anything beyond the basics, I had to do additional trainings including ones that met all day on a weekend. I have escaped any financial responsibility, but one of our leaders had to take finance training, fill out regular reports, and basically have an accounting background to be involved in cookie selling.

We have paid Girl Scout employees who are supposed to provide volunteer support, but they frequently are unfilled positions and/or are unresponsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also wonder if one of the issues is that volunteering has become so Type A, formalized and like a job, that for those of us with jobs, we just don’t want to spend our time doing those kinds of tasks. I am involved in our synagogue and have ended up as a committee chair. It is like a job, submitting budgets, editing newsletters etc. I have a job and I just don’t want to spend my time doing this at all.

I often feel uncomfortable volunteering and would never volunteer to be a coach or leader because these days people are so critical. I’m not a pro, I don’t play x sport, so as “just a parent,” I don’t feel qualified to coach. Whereas when we were growing up, I think many more parents could coach. I volunteer in other ways and for one off events.

This happened to my husband in CYO soccer. The home team was responsible for referees but didn’t have any, and none of their parents would volunteer. The game was going to have to be called off. My DH volunteered to ref while cautioning that he had never done it, and then the opposing team’s coach and their parents berated him throughout the game for bad calls. This was 1st grade rec soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl Scouts differs most from BSA in how much parent involvement is allowed/required. Because its ethos is all about it being “girl-led”, or at least building toward that, adults are present only in minimum, required amounts for safety ratios and supervision. So a troop of the youngest girls, Daisies, would need to have 2 registered, trained and background-checked adult volunteers present for each group of 12 girls. Parents who are not registered and background-checked are explicitly prohibited from being at meetings and events unless it’s a specific family-oriented event.

This requirement makes it more complicated to message to families how necessary volunteer involvement is vs. Cub Scouts, which starts out with a mandatory requirement that a parent is present.

A good Troop in Scouts BSA is led by the Scouts, that applies to the kids 11 and older who are in a Troop, not a Pack. As someone else pointed out, there is training required for every type of activity a Scout does. I took 16 hours of Wilderness Survival first aid and CPR in order to be able to lead backpacking trips. Other adults have taken the same training because it is required for any trip that is an hour away from a main road or any high adventure camp. Every over night activity requires a minimum of 3 adult leaders to be able to meet the safety requirements. Meetings where we have kids working at stations require 2 adults to be able to see each station. Parent volunteers are needed so that things happen.

It is easier to hit the volunteer numbers when you have 30-60 kids in a Troop vs 10-12, which is one of the big differences between Girl Scouts and Scouts BSA. Scouts BSA Troops continue on through the years and tend to have more kids, so more parent volunteers. It is easier to distribute the work load among the parents and make a multitude of activities happen. Summer Camp for Scouts BSA sets up training for the adults who are chaperoning so that there are more trained adults.

For the OP with the kid who wants to do it all, I get it. DS does a rec sport, competition math, and Scouts. We set the night of his Scout meeting as a no practice night so he doesn’t have a conflict. His competition math class is on Friday night. There is the occasional conflict between a game and Scouts but no one at Scouts has a problem with a child being picked up and going to a game and then returning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am at the end of my rope with the parents of a team I coach, but I made a commitment to the kids, including my own kid, and I will finish the school year. I will have a long talk with my husband when the year is over and determine what my boundaries are for whether I can do it again next year. If the parents say they will do XYZ to help and then they don’t come through, I will have no choice but to finish out that year too. It sucks because it’s important to the kids and I feel like parents know there is no real consequence because I won’t punish their kid for a parent’s actions (or lack of actions).

Scouts is not do-able alone. I would finish out the school year and then send a carefully worded letter spelling out what you can and cannot do next year.

No one volunteers to coordinate cookie sales? Girls don’t sell cookies.
No one steps up to plan a camping trip? Girls don’t go camping.

My husband is a Den leader and he plans out the minimum activities to get the kids to the next level and organizes 2 make up days at the end of the year. Beyond that, he sends a list of optional activities and excursions to the parents along with the pack-wide calendar and offers to provide info and materials to anyone who wants to organize the “nice to have” items.

Thank you! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too, but I feel less alone. There is a big incentive mismatch when it comes to kids’ activities, because if parents back away it’s the kids who feel the consequences, not the adults who don’t volunteer.

I grew up in the 80s and remember moms and dads rushing from offices to make our activities happen. We had a soccer coach dad who would throw his suit jacket off, flip his tie back and throw on sneakers to run up and down the field to take us through drills. I remember moms taking off their pantyhose and heels in the locker room so they could stand barefoot by the blocks to be timers at swim meets. When I think of my childhood, I can name a long list of moms and dads who weren’t parents of my close friends but were special adults in my life because they volunteered. It was considered a normal part being part of a community.

I don’t see that now- volunteers are treated like chumps, like the employees of other parents, or looked down on as having jobs that aren’t important enough that they can use them to get out of volunteering, depending on the perspective of other parents.

itta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling good boundaries. That’s good Girl Scouting, not bad.

+1.
Nearly ever parent in our troop has a volunteer role and if they don't, the leaders ask them for help with specific things. GS does not work well with handsoff parents.

I am not the cookie parent but I've done that Saturday morning cookie pickup sometimes so she can be out of town. That's how a functional troop works.

Also, the girls are supposed to spend down their funds. Your money manager should have required that. Sounds like multiple people aren't engaged here, sorry to say.

Agree that this is how it needs to work, and it's challenging with working parents who are used to paying for dropoff activities. My kid was in a troop where most parents (including me) stepped up to handle something, because you have to.

OP, step out of this with zero guilt.

I already mentioned this but we don’t live in DMV anymore and do not have a spend down policy- our only requirement is that we complete financial reporting annually. Our money manager is our cookie mom and she follows policy.

I’m not the cookie mom, the cookie mom is the mom of some of the older girls in the troop, and I’m just one of the few people who steps up to help with cookie warehouse drop and sorting. When our younger girls joined the troop, it was agreed by all parents that it would be a co-op troop and responsibility for hosting meetings and doing cookie trainings would rotate, with each parent registering and getting background training and taking one meeting/month. Most parents never bothered with even registering despite repeated follow-ups and I ended up running meetings so the girls would at least be trained for cookie sales and camping. At that point I should have bailed, but my daughter and one of her troop mates were very dedicated and invested and I wanted to make it work for them.

I guess I’m just really mean but I would send this email back out to every single parent and say you must do this by x date or your daughter will not be allowed to participate in the troop. This is what I did in our scout group and the kick in the pants was what parents needed and to my recollection everybody signed up for a volunteer role.

Council rules don't allow for this.

[Anonymous]

You should resign, and then the troop will probably fizzle out because no parents step up, and that’s completely ok.