Reply to How much notice to give when quitting a volunteer role?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am at the end of my rope with the parents of a team I coach, but I made a commitment to the kids, including my own kid, and I will finish the school year. I will have a long talk with my husband when the year is over and determine what my boundaries are for whether I can do it again next year. If the parents say they will do XYZ to help and then they don’t come through, I will have no choice but to finish out that year too. It sucks because it’s important to the kids and I feel like parents know there is no real consequence because I won’t punish their kid for a parent’s actions (or lack of actions).

Scouts is not do-able alone. I would finish out the school year and then send a carefully worded letter spelling out what you can and cannot do next year.

No one volunteers to coordinate cookie sales? Girls don’t sell cookies. 
No one steps up to plan a camping trip? Girls don’t go camping.

My husband is a Den leader and he plans out the minimum activities to get the kids to the next level and organizes 2 make up days at the end of the year. Beyond that, he sends a list of optional activities and excursions to the parents along with the pack-wide calendar and offers to provide info and materials to anyone who wants to organize the “nice to have” items. [/quote]

Thank you! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too, but I feel less alone. There is a big incentive mismatch when it comes to kids’ activities, because if parents back away it’s the kids who feel the consequences, not the adults who don’t volunteer.

I grew up in the 80s and remember moms and dads rushing from offices to make our activities happen. We had a soccer coach dad who would throw his suit jacket off, flip his tie back and throw on sneakers to run up and down the field  to take us through drills. I remember moms taking off their pantyhose and heels in the locker room so they could  stand barefoot by the blocks to be timers at swim meets. When I think of my childhood, I can name a long list of moms and dads who weren’t parents of my close friends but were special adults in my life because they volunteered. It was considered a normal part being part of a community.

I don’t see that now- volunteers are treated like chumps, like the employees of other parents, or looked down on as having jobs that aren’t important enough that they can use them to get out of volunteering, depending on the perspective of other parents. [/quote]

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