Advice on twins in terms of college acceptances

[Anonymous]

Parent of b/g twins who are in their 1st year of college. They had some overlap in the schools they applied to but also some separate schools. Throughout the process we talked about how doing well in high school is just the ticket to the lottery- crazy things happen in applications and you want to give yourself the best chance possible to be accepted but fundamentally it's not personal.

They understood their applications each had differentiators but also strengths-- ECs, rigor, grades, etc. They ended up at very different places but both are super happy. FWIW, they both ended up at their "2nd choice" school after being denied at their ED school.

The twin that might reasonably be classified as having less "rigor" in high school is actually KILLING it college in all the ways- grades, involvement, etc, so you just can't predict.

At the end of the day with all of this, you want your kids to each be excited to move into what ever school they are going to. Twin parenting is a special kind of angst and I feel you. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

PP, not to hijack but can you please share the name of the small school in FL for kids with disabilities?

Beacon College, they are great! And have an awesome 3-week summer program for HS juniors and sophomores to try it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

I assume you're talking about Lynn in Boca Raton. As a current South Florida resident, I would just tell you to be careful with this one. The school may cater to students with learning disabilities, but its reputation is terrible in the region. I would even say it's a punchline. People call it "Lynndergarten." I can't imagine it is viewed any better in other parts of the country (assuming people have heard of it at all). I'm not telling you this to be disparaging or to discourage you but to encourage you and your daughter to explore other options before settling for Lynn just because she's LD. There are plenty of more reputable colleges that are known for supporting students with special needs. St. Joe's in Philly comes to mind. Really any Jesuit school. I've heard Elon is good, too. Just something to consider.

Hey, don't know much about Lynn, her school is Beacon College in Leesburg. I'm sure it might have a bit of the same type of rep, but it's a good ft for her, so thankful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is everybody having twins these days? Fertility treatments?

Look, OP, the kids know each other’s academic records etc and know that one is stronger than the other. That they’re siblings instead of just friends or classmates doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t surprise either of them or anyone else if their admissions results are different, and unless you raised them wrong, they shouldn’t take the different results as any kind of indicator of the merits of either one of them as your children or as human beings. They’ll get over it. End of story.

LOL... I'm PP with the 18 year old G/G twins and haven't encountered this "fertility treatment" snark in a really long time. Thanks for the blast from the past!

Maybe you think it shouldn't matter, or that they are just like any set of friends or classmates, but, in real life, that's not how it plays out.

HA. Parent of 18y B/B twins and this made me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

I assume you're talking about Lynn in Boca Raton. As a current South Florida resident, I would just tell you to be careful with this one. The school may cater to students with learning disabilities, but its reputation is terrible in the region. I would even say it's a punchline. People call it "Lynndergarten." I can't imagine it is viewed any better in other parts of the country (assuming people have heard of it at all). I'm not telling you this to be disparaging or to discourage you but to encourage you and your daughter to explore other options before settling for Lynn just because she's LD. There are plenty of more reputable colleges that are known for supporting students with special needs. St. Joe's in Philly comes to mind. Really any Jesuit school. I've heard Elon is good, too. Just something to consider.

Hey, don't know much about Lynn, her school is Beacon College in Leesburg. I'm sure it might have a bit of the same type of rep, but it's a good ft for her, so thankful!

Not familiar with that one, but Leesburg is an underrated location.

[Anonymous]

I mean, any of us with more than one kid face this to a certain degree. My DS has always gotten lower grades and scores than his younger sister. DD will have a shot at colleges that DS had no chance of getting into. They're just different people and will have different outcomes, and I think most kids understand this. I feel like the more the parent agonizes over this, the bigger of a deal the kids sense it is.

[Anonymous]

Look, one twin worked harder. If she gets into better schools, it’s a good lesson to the other twin that hard work can pay off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, one twin worked harder. If she gets into better schools, it’s a good lesson to the other twin that hard work can pay off.

But the gender imbalance at colleges is real (depending on program / school)
I have kids 1 year apart and my DD is a stronger applicant - but DS got accepted to programs where she got WL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have boy girl twins. They are close friends, but very different people. To our surprise, they ended up applying to almost all the same schools. We tried to guide and encourage them to find different schools, but they ended up with many of the same.

One of the kids is quite a bit stronger academically than the other, and also has a great Extracurricular with success on the national level. The schools they applied were a reasonable target/reach for the less strong twin, and a straight target/safety for the strong one but everything these days feels like a crapshoot.

We are obviously concerned as all ea decisions start coming in this week and rd in the next few months, the twin who is a fantastic kid but less strong academically and in terms of extracurricular will possibly get shut out.

Luckily, both twins are into safeties, so we are trying to really talk about how awesome those schools are.

Any advice on how to handle this situation when one twin gets into a school and the other doesn’t. We generally think handling disappointment is their issue and try to shrug and not make it a big deal but this is an added layer of complication with twin dynamics.

( if we’re honest, the twin who is stronger on paper worked harder and was more driven but it doesn’t feel great to point that out in a moment of disappointment so if there’s something we can say that is kind and more constructive we’d like to do that!)

Thanks in advance.

This seems like the making of a great sit com. Can the smart twin accept two offers and have the other twin attend in their place? Maybe they have to switch at winter break and hilarity ensues?

OP said boy girl twins so unfortunately that couldn't happen.

I hate when one sibling is labeled the 'smart' one. The op didn't say the one twin is stupid. Most likely the iq difference is small. The one twin worked harder.

[Anonymous]

I'm a DC Twin Mom (IYKYK) We're going through this with fraternal boys with very different academic profiles. If we had bet on which would get more merit aid from higher ranked schools based on our outdated understanding of the process, we would have lost by a lot.

College admissions isn't really about the kids. It's about algorithms. So unless the twins have identical transcripts, ECs, scores, and essays, they will get different results. Just like credit scores and job offers.

I was clueless about how admissions offices us AI at first. It was eye-opening to see just how data-driven the "holistic" admissions process is as it's driven by enrollment systems. Brookings covered this in 2021 https://www.brookings.edu/articles/enrollment-algorithms-are-contributing-to-the-crises-of-higher-education/ A recent survey from another source was posted in another thread https://www.intelligent.com/8-in-10-colleges-will-use-ai-in-admissions-by-2024/

Nothing can take away the personal feelings and anxieties involved. But lifting the veil helped all of us understand the outcomes.

It's another life lesson. Talent exists everywhere. Opportunity does not. Higher education is a system to create opportunities for "qualified" students. But systems are imperfect and often unfair. (And still biased in favor of rich white students. Trust me.) So don't take undergraduate admissions too personally. Make the most of the opportunities you do get.

Pro tip - rankings aren't everything when it comes to LD support. Be sure to meet the academic support and disabilities office IN PERSON. Baby A decided on a "safety" after admitted student experiences at 3 of 11 offers. Baby B got 10 out of 10 EA Waiting on 1 more this week. (Dad's alma mater. Applied to appease him.)

[Anonymous]

PP here. We had twins via Immaculate Conception. Or maybe it was two fathers? The internet says that's a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have g/g twins in HS who just took PSAT. Same twin who got a great score is also in varsity sport and has a profile, and one is not, plays Rec only. One twin is getting lots of mail from colleges, the other nothing.

Hard to watch.

Are you sure that the twin getting no mail didn't opt out? My junior did not get a high PSAT score (1100) and is still being flooded with emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have twins going through this process, with a much bigger divergence in terms of academic strength. One only applied to, and has been admitted to, a small college in FL specifically for kids with learning disabilities, while her sister has applied to a range of 10 more typical options, mostly in-state in VA. There is huge amount of FOMO happening with DD1 as the acceptances continue to roll in for DD2. Fearing things will get worse as we get into Admitted Students Days season, as I already have 2 overnight trips planned for DD2, and probably will do at least 2 more, while DD1 will just have the one trip. Trying my best to reassure her that this school is a great fit for her, and to get her to focus on that rather than what is going on with her sister, but it is certainly a challenge. Lots of love and support is the only advice I can give. Hang in there, it will all be good at the end of the day!!!

PP, not to hijack but can you please share the name of the small school in FL for kids with disabilities?

Not the PP, but I assume Beacon or Lynn.

[Anonymous]

So happy to find this thread. B/B junior twins so just starting to look at schools. The competition and comparison is so difficult and, although they are very different, both have very strong stats (so far) and right now have some overlap in schools of interest. I’d prefer that they not apply to any of the same schools but can’t control that. Just dreading the potential situation where one gets in and the other doesn’t. I appreciate hearing from other twin parents about how to navigate this time. Those who don’t have to go through it with twins have no idea…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, any of us with more than one kid face this to a certain degree. My DS has always gotten lower grades and scores than his younger sister. DD will have a shot at colleges that DS had no chance of getting into. They're just different people and will have different outcomes, and I think most kids understand this. I feel like the more the parent agonizes over this, the bigger of a deal the kids sense it is.

nah it's really different with twins. You are going through it at the same time, don't underestimate how hard that is. One kid gets an acceptance, the other kid does not, literally at the same moment. My twins were each in their bedrooms when they got their ED acceptance to the same school. It is very hard to be happy for the one and console the other at literally the same time. Thankfully I didn't have to do that, lucky me! but was dreading it. If you have kids who are different years, it's a much larger separation mentally for everyone in the house, and you can always say "well when other sibling applied, it was less competitive" etc. There are ways to explain it. In one application cycle, you can't do that.