Do you think DINKs are the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I think childfree people tend to be vocal about it but in reality they are the minority. I'm 33 and most of my friends have or want kids.

You do realize that that is because you tend to associate with people who tend to think like you. You can’t make generalizations about the whole world based on your group of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have seemed to crave children biologically for millennia. Has that really changed, statistically?

Personal preferences of women not yet premenopausal are less relevant than those of women who've been through it.

Women didn't have reliable contraceptives for most of human history and mother hood was the only acceptable goal for women.

+1
Women have also been trying to avoid being raped and manage their fertility for millennia too. Some women want kids, some women don't. Some men want kids, some men don't.

[Anonymous]

40 y/o DINK. It is a personal decision for me, but unfortunately it is forced on some people (whether due to infertility or financial issues). I would not say it's the "future", but it's an option (one that many people are choosing due to rising COL and economic / educational factors that result in people starting families later).

I'm an outlier in my friend circle, but not so much in my immediate family. I think most people want kids and would choose to do so if there were not so many economic barriers.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids with kids, one married kid who doesn’t want kids, and another kid who doesn’t want to either get married or have kids. None of it has anything to do with the economics, just personal choices. And they are all happy with their own decisions. It’s the 21st-century folks, women have choices.

[Anonymous]

It's necessarily the future, but it's relatively recent that women even had these choices. It's great that people aren't forced into parenthood.

I love having kids and would never make a different decision, but I can see the appeal of being a DINK too.

[Anonymous]

I am 33 with one kid that is 6 months. every friend, but one, in my immediate social circle (friends since high school) have 2 kids.

Those that I know that do not have kids typically do not have the same economic situation that those with kids do have...even as a DINK.

[Anonymous]

Yes the birth rate is down.

[Anonymous]

We live in DC, have two kids, and so many of our friends are SINKs and DINKs. Like, tons.

We have more SINKs and DINKs than friends with kids. Spouse is an exec with F100 company and tons of older colleagues are DINKs or SINKs. You find proportionately more as you move up the management chain.

[Anonymous]

By definition, no.

This is like asking if Shakers are going to dominate the earth because so many people are converting to their religion. They died out all the same.

It will be a trend, but then the next generation will be made up 100% of the kids of the people who made the opposite decision, which will impact the culture. My kids are still young but they are all happy about the idea of being moms and dads.

[Anonymous]

We are now DINKS, wanted to have children but couldn't naturally, so stopped trying medical intervention when it all became too much.

In our 50s now and a number of friends from high school and college are in the same boat. A few have adopted, but like us, most have not.

Not everyone is rabidly "child free" and for most of us it's just how things turned out, even when we wanted otherwise. No one wants to hear that, because it's and downer which means that they too might not get a "rainbow baby."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids with kids, one married kid who doesn’t want kids, and another kid who doesn’t want to either get married or have kids. None of it has anything to do with the economics, just personal choices. And they are all happy with their own decisions. It’s the 21st-century folks, women have choices.

And some people just cant stand it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are now DINKS, wanted to have children but couldn't naturally, so stopped trying medical intervention when it all became too much.

In our 50s now and a number of friends from high school and college are in the same boat. A few have adopted, but like us, most have not.

Not everyone is rabidly "child free" and for most of us it's just how things turned out, even when we wanted otherwise. No one wants to hear that, because it's and downer which means that they too might not get a "rainbow baby."

Agree with this. Most of the people I know without kids are single or divorced. I do know a number of married couples without kids, and for three I can think of, it was an affirmative choice (which they shared with me). But I also know a bunch of people who got married in their late 30s or early 40s and either experienced infertility or decided that they were past the age when they wanted to have kids. This is different than not wanting kids at all -- I think many of them might have had kids if they'd found their partners earlier. But with careers and moves and challenges with dating, sometimes you don't.

I married at 34 (spouse was 36) and we had a baby when I was 37 (spouse was 39). We've talked about how if our timeline had been pushed back even one year, we probably wouldn't have had a kid. We are really glad we did, but it's interesting how small shifts in timing can make a difference. Now that people are marrying later, I think this is a factor. When most people got married in their 20s, I think the assumption was that most people would have kids and if they didn't it was considered weird. Now that more people get married in their 30s or even 40s, you just can't assume that kids are even a feasible option for every married couple.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. But DH and I are DINKs. And in my family, out of 7 of us cousins, only 2 of us have children. 2/7 are gay men, but one is married (I mention this because my gay cousins (twins) are 56, so they are a bit older than the generation of LGBTQ folks who readily consider having a family). Out of the 7 of us, 2 never married at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so, I am optimistic that this will result in the added bonus of diminishing their progressive political ideaology since the couples who will likely opt into continuing to reproduce will trend conservative.

Agree, plus the people voluntarily sterilizing themselves. Solves the problem in a couple of decades.

[Anonymous]

We are millennial DINKs. Couldn't be happier. Own a home. Max out retirement accounts. Take multiple trips per year. Have very little debt except a mortgage. Sleep until 10 AM on the weekends.

Kids ruin everything. I paid $85k off in student loans. I will absolutely NEVER pay another college bill again in my life. F that. Then they gouge the crap outta you for $3000-4000 per mo for childcare. Ridiculous. There's also no guarantee your kid won't turn out to be a F up even if you raise them right. I know so many kids raised in good homes who ended up becoming opioid addicts, so one robbed a bank, and others popping out kids out of wedlock by the time they're 21. The worst ones are kids who get into serious trouble and the parents blow their entire life's savings on legal fees or rehab to save their precious little Hunter or Emily.

Nope, nope, nope. Finally getting ahead in life because of no kids.