Today is My Birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.

About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.

WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.

Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?

I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.

What would you do here?

Welcome to the club! My POS SAHM does nothing for me - ever. My birthday she only buys a cake but that's more for our kid than me. No present. No card. Same for Father's Day. On Christmas you know what she got me? New sheets for our bed. Yes, that's right. She also got me a desk lamp even though I have two already. And that was it. My kid got over 20 gifts and I bought her 10 gifts. I got two.

To top it off if I don't do something nice for her birthday, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas I'm a horrible human. One year I got her $200 flowers sent to the house, a custom $80 cake, and a card and gift and she shit on me saying I "didn't put enough thought into it". This year I've already told her I'm not getting her any gifts, she already spends our bank account like we're millionaires. I'll get her a cake and that's it.

You gave such disdain and disrespect for your wife, that it is scary.
Really, get therapy or get a divorce. I fear for her welfare.

I cannot believe that a grown man is jealous about the fact that his child got more gifts than him. Unbelievable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No straight man asks his wife to go glamping. Try harder.

OP didn't say they were a straight man.

[Anonymous]

I’m a wife and I definitely plan, pack for (for the most part - husband and kids do some) and purchase things for trips we go on, including when it’s my birthday.

To me there’s a difference between “I want to go on a trip for my birthday” and “I want to be taken on a trip for my birthday - I’d love you to handle all the details.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would she do all the shopping and packing? Your mom really spoiled you apparently. My kids have fun on their birthdays but don’t sit around like kings waiting for people to feed them grapes. Get off your arse and get packing! You get to pick the activity for your birthday not hire a slave for the week.

No kidding.

You know what I've 'expected' for every birthday after 30? A call from my mom, a 'happy birthday' from my spouse, and some lousy half baked effort from my kids. Anything more than that has exceeded my expectations! I'd never expect a trip and someone else to pack and plan it. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a wife and I definitely plan, pack for (for the most part - husband and kids do some) and purchase things for trips we go on, including when it’s my birthday.

To me there’s a difference between “I want to go on a trip for my birthday” and “I want to be taken on a trip for my birthday - I’d love you to handle all the details.”

So you're the slave in this scenario. At least you know where you stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her you'd reserved a site? Did you ever talk about what needed to be done, what time you'd leave, etc? Did you just book it and wait to see what she'd do? Did you pack your own stuff and neither your nor she said anything about it?

Pack your stuff put it in the car and say, "ready to leaving 10 min". Wait 10 min, leave. Have fun with yourself and your bad attitude. Happy Birthday!

I'm surprised you found a spouse at all. Good luck looking for #2 to put up with this crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No straight man asks his wife to go glamping. Try harder.

+1

OP again, not only am I straight and like glamping, but I also drink rose, eat sushi, like to garden, and even know how to braid my daughter's hair. Mind blowing for people like you, I'm sure.

Are the kids glamping too?

Did you ever leave?

Happy birthday, OP. Would be nice to be in the woods with snow tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And my wife did nothing.

About three weeks ago, she asked what I wanted to do and I said lets go glamping in a cabin out in the Shennadoah. She said which one, I said I don't know - you pick. She didn't as of a week ago, so I reserved one.

WhenI got up today, nothing had been done. No bags had been packed, no breakfast had been cooked, no groceries packed for the weekend, nothing. Around 11 she asked, again, what I wanted to do. I said I thought we were going out to the valley. She said Ok, just checking. Now its 1230 and i'm sitting in the den on the internet while she on the phone with her sister in law.

Am I suposed to have planned my own birthday trip? Was I supposed to buy and pack everything? Was this a trip for her or for me?

I tempted to pack for myself and queitly leave.

What would you do here?

Welcome to the club! My POS SAHM does nothing for me - ever. My birthday she only buys a cake but that's more for our kid than me. No present. No card. Same for Father's Day. On Christmas you know what she got me? New sheets for our bed. Yes, that's right. She also got me a desk lamp even though I have two already. And that was it. My kid got over 20 gifts and I bought her 10 gifts. I got two.

To top it off if I don't do something nice for her birthday, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas I'm a horrible human. One year I got her $200 flowers sent to the house, a custom $80 cake, and a card and gift and she shit on me saying I "didn't put enough thought into it". This year I've already told her I'm not getting her any gifts, she already spends our bank account like we're millionaires. I'll get her a cake and that's it.

It's your account. Take her name off it and give her an allowance.

[Anonymous]

So sorry your wife is acting like this but want to wish you a very Happy Birthday 🎂🎉🎁 today‼️

She probably assumed since you made the reservations that you would also do all of the packing too…..(considering this is a birthday trip I would think she would chip in on this part.)

Anyway she doesn’t seem too enthused about this trip so if she really is not interested in going - then you should be able to go alone or if you can, bring along a buddy.

Regardless try not to let this ruin your special day too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you making your bday such a big deal?

Normally I would agree with you.

But in this case she asked, he answered. She could have protested/ laughed it off and said “I was thinking something a little closer to home like you picking a nice place for lunch or dinner.”

It sounds like she didn’t take him seriously. And it sounds like nothing else was said. Apparently he booked something told her (though last minute) and again had the opportunity to say “I didn’t think you were serious, I really am not in the mood for that why don’t we do xyz.” According to OP she said “ok” which would give the appearance that she was on board with even though she clearly isn’t. I think this is a case of two different communication styles.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m sorry. This board is filled with women who think women can do no wrong and it is always the man’s fault no matter the facts.

It sounds like there was a communication breakdown and she didn’t take you seriously. You probably could have made your desire clearer but she also failed to read the room. It takes two to tango.

[Anonymous]

Did you go op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communicate more

This. You’re playing this game of chicken where you’re waiting to see how long she’ll go and not saying what you want. Stop.

How old are you and how long have you been married?

+1 You guys didn’t talk about this last night before bed? And you woke up this morning and didn’t mention anything for hours? And expected her to pack everything up (for you too?), shop, etc? That’s very passive. Even on my birthday, my DH and I would be a team getting out the door.

It seems that this was a test. You can be “right” (and she has failed it) if you can tel your wife to get the F off the phone, get out the door and really commit to working through this obvious communication breakdown.

Happy Birthday, though!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Communicate more

This. You’re playing this game of chicken where you’re waiting to see how long she’ll go and not saying what you want. Stop.

How old are you and how long have you been married?

+1 You guys didn’t talk about this last night before bed? And you woke up this morning and didn’t mention anything for hours? And expected her to pack everything up (for you too?), shop, etc? That’s very passive. Even on my birthday, my DH and I would be a team getting out the door.

It seems that this was a test. You can be “right” (and she has failed it) if you can tel your wife to get the F off the phone, get out the door and really commit to working through this obvious communication breakdown.

Happy Birthday, though!!

He was passive. She was absent. Both at fault.

[Anonymous]

^True.