Would you marry someone with OCD

[Anonymous]

My mother has OCD. She is also a hoarder. I couldn’t get away from that house fast enough when I turned 18. It’s painful still when I try to bring my kids to her for a visit. She is perfectly lovely as a person but I cannot stand to be in her environment with her. It’s the absolute opposite of a peaceful home and I don’t want to tiptoe around her mental illness for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has health related OCD which she got from me, a lifelong ‘hypochondriac.’ Otherwise we are high functioning (a have a PhD, full time job, married with 2 kids, UMC life, etc) and my daughter is a straight A student at a local private school with close friends, extracurricular activities, and otherwise doing well.

Would hate to think that no one would want to marry us because of our OCD.

[Anonymous]

I say this as someone who struggles with a metal illness -- we can be very, very hard to live with. Treatment has worked very well for me, I'm absolutely a huge success story. But things have, with regularity, been hard on my DH. At times very hard. And it doesn't tend to get better as we get older, it tends to get worse.

Just go into it with open eyes about the difficulty that will undoubtedly come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as someone who struggles with a metal illness -- we can be very, very hard to live with. Treatment has worked very well for me, I'm absolutely a huge success story. But things have, with regularity, been hard on my DH. At times very hard. And it doesn't tend to get better as we get older, it tends to get worse.

Just go into it with open eyes about the difficulty that will undoubtedly come.

*mental* not metal. ugh, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as someone who struggles with a metal illness -- we can be very, very hard to live with. Treatment has worked very well for me, I'm absolutely a huge success story. But things have, with regularity, been hard on my DH. At times very hard. And it doesn't tend to get better as we get older, it tends to get worse.

Just go into it with open eyes about the difficulty that will undoubtedly come.

Do you just have OCD or other mental illnesses?

*mental* not metal. ugh, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If treated, yes.

Yes, it is treatable. It is the true OCD folks that can’t lead normal lives and refuse treatment that are the problem.

+1 my untreated ocd was debilitating. My treated ocd (combination of mindfulness, past exposure therapies and CBT, and medication) is very manageable. In fact, I think it’s even helpful to know your type of crazy! I’m so thankful my DH accepted my diagnosis with grace when we were dating! We’ve been happily married for 15 years with a whole gaggle of messy, chaotic kids.

[Anonymous]

Do you just have OCD or other mental illnesses?

[Anonymous]

How do you think they will hold up in higher stress situations that they simply will have very little control over? Picture common difficult life events such as the combination of working, raising kids and looking after elderly parent during health declines.

Are you able to comfortably live in and meet the level of cleanliness they will need in a home? Will you feel at home in your house? Will you kids? Are you even sure that you know all the compulsive rituals needed for them to get through there day? Understand the rituals may increase as life stress and less control over life increase.

[Anonymous]

My spouse has been diagnosed with the scrupulosity form of OCD. I would have married him regardless. I loved him.

I will say I had no idea the financial and marital stresses that would come about once we had children, and wish I had adapted sooner (recognizing I had no choice but take on primary responsility of the kids... instead of fighting with him about it). As the spouse, I just had to deal with it.

Because it has impacted his employment and left him depressed that he was unable to fully care for himself and his children, he eventually became active in obtaining treatment (which was a big step).

Now that our children are young adults and he is fully invested in maintaining his mental health, his symptoms are milder and I just have to live with the idea that 5-10 days a year he's just going to need space and be dealing with it and I'm on my own on those days.

Like I said, I loved him then and still love him. But anyone who marries someone with OCD must understand that it can be very difficult and lonely at times.

[Anonymous]

Do people with ocd have to be on medication their whole lives to manage it, if therapy isn’t enough?

[Anonymous]

I'm an OCD therapist. Way, way more people have OCD than you (or they) realize. The stereotypical light-switch flipping etc. behaviors are actually some of the least common.

Some of you reading this have undiagnosed OCD, I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an OCD therapist. Way, way more people have OCD than you (or they) realize. The stereotypical light-switch flipping etc. behaviors are actually some of the least common.

Some of you reading this have undiagnosed OCD, I promise.

My kid is in treatment for OCD. Was reading this thread with sadness that nobody will want to marry them. Then remembered that after learning about my kid’s OCD I realized I have it too…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an OCD therapist. Way, way more people have OCD than you (or they) realize. The stereotypical light-switch flipping etc. behaviors are actually some of the least common.

Some of you reading this have undiagnosed OCD, I promise.

My kid is in treatment for OCD. Was reading this thread with sadness that nobody will want to marry them. Then remembered that after learning about my kid’s OCD I realized I have it too…

How could you not know you have OCD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an OCD therapist. Way, way more people have OCD than you (or they) realize. The stereotypical light-switch flipping etc. behaviors are actually some of the least common.

Some of you reading this have undiagnosed OCD, I promise.

My kid is in treatment for OCD. Was reading this thread with sadness that nobody will want to marry them. Then remembered that after learning about my kid’s OCD I realized I have it too…

How could you not know you have OCD?

I'm the therapist from above. OCD is extremely misunderstood. People are in therapy for an average of seven years before they receive a diagnosis. I've had so many clients be shocked that I suggest OCD. Very few therapists are actually trained in OCD work. The stereotypical OCD behaviors are pretty rare and the much more common ones are dismissed, or are so subtle people don't even really consider them an issue.