Who comes first: your family of origin or your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids comes first actually.
Then spouses (husband and I).
Then parents and siblings on either side.

But usually none of this is an issue, because we all agree it's the correct order of priorities.

+ 1
We do the same. And all of this is only possible because spouse and I are in-synch with this and have each other's back.

[Anonymous]

My mom comes before everyone, including my house. When Dad abandoned us, mom did everything for us. I love my wife, she is my world. My mom though is on top of everyone.

[Anonymous]

Spouse, hands-down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse in all circumstances but 1. My dad died unexpectedly on DH'a birthday 4 years ago. So we have still been getting together with my family of origin on that day instead of celebrating DHs bday. Although I don't know if it necessarily means I'm prioritizing them as DH has never cared about celebrating his bday exactly the day of

My mother died on my birthday and after a year I reclaimed the death day as my birthday. Why do you get together with your family on a death day? Celebrate the living.

[Anonymous]

Spouse. I've lived with him for 30 years, which is longer than I lived with my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom comes before everyone, including my house. When Dad abandoned us, mom did everything for us. I love my wife, she is my world. My mom though is on top of everyone.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

My wife came first.

[Anonymous]

Spouse. I vowed to forsake all others. Also, a lot of Christians have part of the ceremony where the officiant talks about leaving your families and becoming one with your spouse. That has always stuck with me.

[Anonymous]

Spouse, but when my family of origin needs.me, he doesn't make me choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the situation really. I mean, if you have a planned date night w/your husband, but your mom needs to go to the hospital... Depends on the situation.

+1 And we might not move to a particular location if it’s far from our parents/family of origin because we are close with them and want to be there for them as they age - *but we are both on the same page about that*.

But in general I agree with PPs (as does my spouse): kids, spouse, family of origin.

[Anonymous]

Family of origin- the love there is unconditional.

[Anonymous]

Spouse, kids, siblings, parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine a situation in which I would need to pick one over the other in such a black and white way, and I can’t.

Lucky you. My spouse and my parents do not always see eye to eye in every situation.

So give me a couple of examples.

[Anonymous]

Don't even ask because it is going to wind up in divorce for us. My spouse is the oldest child and will NEVER leave where they grew up. Their family ALWAYS comes first. Better job or weather somewhere else? No, can't go. Heaven forbid she isn't near nephews and nieces who couldn't care less.and when their mom died? Won't change anything. Everybody in the family grew up there, married someone from there, and will die there. It's like West Virginia in the 1930s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family of origin- the love there is unconditional.

Ha!