Are you ever concerned when DH goes on Boys Trip?

[Anonymous]

My DH aid going on an international golf trip in 2024. It doesn’t bother me, but my kids are adults.

[Anonymous]

Nope. DH went on one a few months ago. I later found out they spent a day watching some show about people with Down Syndrome falling in love and getting married and one of them finally was like "Guys, we have dinner reservations - we REALLY have to go." So they all dried their eyes and sniffled their way to dinner.

[Anonymous]

OP, a word of warning: You say you haven't hung out with "the entirely" of this group for at least a decade.

You really want to fly all the way to another country and spend a huge chunk of time and $ with people you don't really know any more? Why? Sure, maybe some of this group are still friends of yours, but you really can't have any idea if some of these other guys are absolutely going on this trip for the sex tourism and who knows what else. The guys who are still friends of yours also may behave very differently once they get out of the country and away from their wives, too. Even if you, yourself, don't engage in sex tourism, drugs or other idiot behaviors, do you really want to expend a lot of time and money to be around a group that does? Sounds like a setup for you either to cave in and "go along to get along," or if you don't, for you to be bored out of your mind as the one relatively sober guy they expect to be the adult in the room while they party and screw around. Does either really appeal to you?

[Anonymous]

Oh, and -- PP from above here -- my DH is from another country and goes there on trips solo to see friends of his, both guys and women he's known since childhood (who are also friends of mine). No concerns at all. Not the same as a group guys' trip to a country known for partying, of course, but if he wanted to get up to anything, sure, he'd have the opportunity. Just not sure what appeals to you about going off with a group where a lot are relative strangers to you, and they've picked a destination with plenty of ways to get into trouble. Let's be honest, if this trip were about an NFL game, they could choose from MANY U.S. cities with plenty of things to do and see, but they're picking another country....

[Anonymous]

Not even a little bit. He does golf and ski trips almost every year. I know his friends. They’re all stand up guys. I trust them 100%.. the thing that pisses me off is the amount of money they spend 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, a word of warning: You say you haven't hung out with "the entirely" of this group for at least a decade.

You really want to fly all the way to another country and spend a huge chunk of time and $ with people you don't really know any more? Why? Sure, maybe some of this group are still friends of yours, but you really can't have any idea if some of these other guys are absolutely going on this trip for the sex tourism and who knows what else. The guys who are still friends of yours also may behave very differently once they get out of the country and away from their wives, too. Even if you, yourself, don't engage in sex tourism, drugs or other idiot behaviors, do you really want to expend a lot of time and money to be around a group that does? Sounds like a setup for you either to cave in and "go along to get along," or if you don't, for you to be bored out of your mind as the one relatively sober guy they expect to be the adult in the room while they party and screw around. Does either really appeal to you?

OP here. A ton of useful insight here and I really appreciate that so many women are comfortable with the idea. I wanted to address this because it's interesting and I wasn't clear on my OP.

It's only two other friends that would go on the trip so it's not a big group. We are all still very close (group chat almost daily, video calls, fantasy football League, etc.). We use to all live in the city but thanks to coincidences and life, over the last 12 years or so, all three of us have never been able to be in same location at the same time. This would be that chance. In a round robin way, we are each godfathers to at least one of the other's kids, so I don't (nor our wives) have any concerns about each other and they certainly are not relative strangers.

I actually understand and agree with your point 100% though and learned a while ago that I can have close friends that don't make good travel partners

[Anonymous]

No, but do you have a reason that she should worry. And, it may be a child care issue if she doesn't ever get a break.

[Anonymous]

I have never had an issue with DH doing guys trips. He does 2-3 long weekends a year. I also do trips with my own friends.

[Anonymous]

You are going to go to Sao Paulo. There is plenty of things to do. It isn't as if the hotel bar where you'll be staying is over-run by men and women of looser morals. Go. Have fun. Make it into a gastronomic extravaganza. Eat at Casa do Porco (one of the world's best restaurants).

[Anonymous]

I have no problem as long as it’s just for a few days, say 3-4. His friends are good guys and after the amount of golf they play they’re too exhausted to do more than drink, eat and collapse. He usually calls me around 10pm half asleep.