Are you ever concerned when DH goes on Boys Trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm fine with DH going on guys trips as long as it doesn't eat up all the PTO and travel budget for us to have a nice family vacation.

This. My DH has taken trips with the boys (once to Vegas! Where they went camping/hiking. ) but always when it works for the family wrt to scheduling and budget. He has a lot more annual leave than I do so that is not usually an issue. Over the years, he and his friends have all skipped trips or re-scheduled around each others’ obligations and they keep it on a budget.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters Cheat and non-cheaters don't cheat.

Cheaters will cheat in their own backyard right after their wife banged them.

So, no.

[Anonymous]

My DH spends a week or so hiking a portion of the Appalachian Trail with his childhood friends every January. They've literally been doing it for 50 years. Not only do I have no problem with this, I'm glad he has these lifelong friendships and that they do trips together. They have done some hiking trips that required travel -- McKinley and a mountain in Mexico somewhere. Of course that's not the same as Rio De Janeiro, but I'd be fine with that, too.

I can see a DW having an issue with your trip if there are limited funds or limited time for travel, and she hasn't gotten to go on an international trip and you haven't taken that cool of a trip together. But that is easily enough addressed by planning a trip together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the feedback. Sounds like the biggest concern is doing something equally interesting/expensive with DH lol

If your wife (I'm assuming DH was a typo, if not, if your husband...) is anything like me, cost and how interesting the location is doesn't matter. It's how intentional you are with the relationship. Like, DH went to Mexico with some friends and took me on a great staycation to Old Town, and I was fine with that because that's what I wanted to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters Cheat and non-cheaters don't cheat.

Cheaters will cheat in their own backyard right after their wife banged them.

So, no.

Ends of a spectrum. In the middle are people who would opportunitistically cheat in a weaker moment but never have a workable opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wives, are you generally okay with your DHs going on guys only trips with their friends? Does the location matter? Does the friend group matter?

A couple of friends recently brought up going on a guys trip next year and I'm interested because I haven't hung out with the entirety of this particular group in close to 10 years (shortly after our first child was born).

I'm certain DW wouldn't object but its not something we've ever really discussed either. The catch is that the location we're primarily considering is Brazil (if there is an NFL game there next year) and it has a reputation for a certain type of tourism. I would never engage in thosebtype of activities (I don't judge others or the workers but it's absolutely disgusting for me) neither would the friends I'd go with (although I have other friends that absolutely would).

Our trip would likely just be drinking too much, trash talking, hanging out at a pool/beach, excursions, and going to an NFL and, hopefully, soccer game. I want to make the idea as comfortable as possible for DW, but curious how comfortable other wives are with these types of guys trips.

"Drinking too much" is a yellow flag. (I didn't say red flag.)

[Anonymous]

One ground rule, no matter what, needs to be:

-condoms must be worn, every time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wives, are you generally okay with your DHs going on guys only trips with their friends? Does the location matter? Does the friend group matter?

A couple of friends recently brought up going on a guys trip next year and I'm interested because I haven't hung out with the entirety of this particular group in close to 10 years (shortly after our first child was born).

I'm certain DW wouldn't object but its not something we've ever really discussed either. The catch is that the location we're primarily considering is Brazil (if there is an NFL game there next year) and it has a reputation for a certain type of tourism. I would never engage in thosebtype of activities (I don't judge others or the workers but it's absolutely disgusting for me) neither would the friends I'd go with (although I have other friends that absolutely would).

Our trip would likely just be drinking too much, trash talking, hanging out at a pool/beach, excursions, and going to an NFL and, hopefully, soccer game. I want to make the idea as comfortable as possible for DW, but curious how comfortable other wives are with these types of guys trips.

"Drinking too much" is a yellow flag. (I didn't say red flag.)

Whenever drinking too much is involved, it’s always possible something unexpected could happen.

Maybe when group inhibitions are lowered by alcohol, two of the men could end up in bed together? It is not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

I'd be fine with it. 1) I know DH's friends really well 2) DH isn't really much into partying and 3) I know DH isn't going to do anything sketchy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wives, are you generally okay with your DHs going on guys only trips with their friends? Does the location matter? Does the friend group matter?

A couple of friends recently brought up going on a guys trip next year and I'm interested because I haven't hung out with the entirety of this particular group in close to 10 years (shortly after our first child was born).

I'm certain DW wouldn't object but its not something we've ever really discussed either. The catch is that the location we're primarily considering is Brazil (if there is an NFL game there next year) and it has a reputation for a certain type of tourism. I would never engage in thosebtype of activities (I don't judge others or the workers but it's absolutely disgusting for me) neither would the friends I'd go with (although I have other friends that absolutely would).

Our trip would likely just be drinking too much, trash talking, hanging out at a pool/beach, excursions, and going to an NFL and, hopefully, soccer game. I want to make the idea as comfortable as possible for DW, but curious how comfortable other wives are with these types of guys trips.

"Drinking too much" is a yellow flag. (I didn't say red flag.)

Whenever drinking too much is involved, it’s always possible something unexpected could happen.

Maybe when group inhibitions are lowered by alcohol, two of the men could end up in bed together? It is not uncommon.

You sound super hopeful. Watch lots of gay seduces straight porn, do we?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters Cheat and non-cheaters don't cheat.

Cheaters will cheat in their own backyard right after their wife banged them.

So, no.

Ends of a spectrum. In the middle are people who would opportunitistically cheat in a weaker moment but never have a workable opportunity.

Well, either you have a partner with personal integrity or you do not. That has zero to do with taking a boys’ trip. If you chose a partner with no integrity and this situation worries you, then you failed in life and have bigger problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not worry about my DH in this situation. But I do think some "boys' trips" can raise a different vibe - if a bunch of the guys are divorced or going through a midlife thing, I would be less thrilled abou the entertainnment than what my DH usually experiences, which is a bunch of family-oriented beer nerds going to breweries together in a new city.

Make sure though, that if you're going to Brazil with your boys, you're doing another trip at least as cool with your wife/family. If DH was in Rio with his buddies and then wanted to go to Ocean City for our family vacation I'd feel some type of way about his priorities.

+1

The happy friends, who are content with their lives? Sure.

The miserable friends, who are not, and want DH to be just as miserable as they are? Nope.

[Anonymous]

I used to be jealous in my 20s. Late 30s now and actively encourage DH to do trips like this. He has never given me reason to question his faithfulness so I don’t.

[Anonymous]

No, never concerned. In fact, I encourage the trips. Location doesn't matter to me - they've gone to Germany for Oktoberfest before so I'd trust my husband no matter where he went. The group doesn't matter either, even though some of them are idiots.

[Anonymous]

Every couple of years my husband goes on a few day golf trip which includes too much golf, eating and drinking. I do worry about the drinking but Uber has really solved that problem. They will go to bars and restaurants where women are likely to be but I don’t worry about him. His moral standards are really high and we have a very good marriage. That being said, he knows I’d take every cent he had if he strayed!