Teacher favorites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and what you are reporting is not okay. Listen to your gut. I would bet the principal is aware but can’t take much action unless a parent complains. This is a little kid, not a teenager who needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people.

+1. Also a former teacher. A high school teacher. It is highly unprofessional to show favoritism like you are describing in high school classes - let alone in kindergarten. Sure, life is unfair. But that doesn’t mean that teacher’s can openly play favorites! I don’t have a trust fund and other people do. That doesn’t mean my boss should be mean to me…These things don’t correlate.

You’re doing the right thing by talking to the counselor. Proactively reach out to the teacher for a check in and ask about classroom jobs and reading groups and see what she says.

It’s very sad that so many parents commenting expect that their children will be treated poorly by teachers. I feel bad for your kids.

+2

My fourth grader is going through this right now and it's really hard on him. We didn't realize this teacher played favorites until DD, who had her for math two years ago, told us. These aren't adults, FFS, they're children and in the OP's case, Kindergarten. So she's, what, five years old?

Talk to the counselor. Keep the lines of communication open with the teacher, if for no other reason than she knows you're paying attention. Pay attention to it and don't be afraid to go to school admin if necessary. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for a gut check that i am handling this right and some similar experiences and ideas what to say to kid.

DD is in kindergarten at Public school. She went to prek at this school and had a great experience. I think she really connected with her teacher. My kid always loved school.

This year well the teacher seems to clearly have her favorites. And it is not DD. My observations -
- at drop off the teacher is always hugging and greeting certain kids. Not others. Not DD.
- Teacher has shared the reading levels (fountas) with the kids and my daughter has reported the levels of others. My DD hasn’t gotten her assessment yet but others have. Teacher told us multiple times during the first conference that “some kids are already reading”. My SIL is a teacher and said that was weird. It is clear that many parents taught their kid to read before K (super competitive area we live in not dc) —we did not. We have stepped up reading at home and DD is making lots of progress.
- DD reports Girl A who has the highest reading level is the teachers helper and only Girl A is allowed to help. Last year DD loved when she could help the teacher. Also Girl A parents are one of the class parents (there are 2) and this was selected by the teacher on the first day. Girl A has older sibling that the teacher taught.
- DD had a week of not wanting to go to school very sad and crying and we met with the guidance counselor. It was seemingly about someone made fun of her for talking with food in her mouth. Wouldn’t say who. (I don’t totally buy this ). This passed but I’ve checked in with the counselor who says “DD sees others getting attention and she wants that” so the counselor had been hanging out with her at lunch and stopping by her after school program to say hi. The counselor reports DD doesn’t feel confident about herself and they are working on that.

My gut here is that I just monitor. I did share the reading levels stuff with the counselor and she made a face and said usually we don’t like to make that a competition. The teacher in this case is older and kindof old school. Set in her ways. My approach with DD is going to be continued contact with the helpful counselor and wait and see. Deep down I want to talk to the teacher and air my grievances (can’t the kids at least take turns helping?) but I don’t see that going well and feel like it could be held against DD.

How do you manage to get so much of detail of what happens in the class from a kindergartner?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. This happened to my DD in 1st grade- the teacher favored the very rowdiest boys, and then in 2nd grade the teacher favored the girls who were the highest reading level and the fastest at math. It crushed DD and really chipped away at her willingness to try. We never found a good way to address these issues with the administration because a lot of it was anecdotes coming from my DD and details that added up to a lot but seemed petty taken one by one. The 1st grade teacher did leave at the end of the year, so that was validating.

Now in 3rd grade she’s an entirely different child. I fear she may be one of the teacher’s favorites, but it’s amazing the difference that attention can make in a child’s life. Instead of bedtime tears every night, she jumps into the car brimming with things to tell me about her day. She is doing extra math by choice and her reading and comprehension have soared. Today she told me she misses school (she’s on break).

My takeaway from these past 3 years is that teachers can make or break a child’s life, and that’s pretty scary.

[Anonymous]

Op. Thanks all you have given me more to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. This happened to my DD in 1st grade- the teacher favored the very rowdiest boys, and then in 2nd grade the teacher favored the girls who were the highest reading level and the fastest at math. It crushed DD and really chipped away at her willingness to try. We never found a good way to address these issues with the administration because a lot of it was anecdotes coming from my DD and details that added up to a lot but seemed petty taken one by one. The 1st grade teacher did leave at the end of the year, so that was validating.

Now in 3rd grade she’s an entirely different child. I fear she may be one of the teacher’s favorites, but it’s amazing the difference that attention can make in a child’s life. Instead of bedtime tears every night, she jumps into the car brimming with things to tell me about her day. She is doing extra math by choice and her reading and comprehension have soared. Today she told me she misses school (she’s on break).

My takeaway from these past 3 years is that teachers can make or break a child’s life, and that’s pretty scary.

As long as she is teachers pet amirite

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and I don't actively hug kids, but if they hug me, I'll hug back. Your dd may not approach teacher for a hug, and she perceives that she's not being hugged. But I'm wondering if it's the other way around

[Anonymous]

Is this a public school? Fountas and Pinnell is crap. That’s what I’d be worrying about.


- a teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and what you are reporting is not okay. Listen to your gut. I would bet the principal is aware but can’t take much action unless a parent complains. This is a little kid, not a teenager who needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people.

+1. Also a former teacher. A high school teacher. It is highly unprofessional to show favoritism like you are describing in high school classes - let alone in kindergarten. Sure, life is unfair. But that doesn’t mean that teacher’s can openly play favorites! I don’t have a trust fund and other people do. That doesn’t mean my boss should be mean to me…These things don’t correlate.

You’re doing the right thing by talking to the counselor. Proactively reach out to the teacher for a check in and ask about classroom jobs and reading groups and see what she says.

It’s very sad that so many parents commenting expect that their children will be treated poorly by teachers. I feel bad for your kids.

+2

My fourth grader is going through this right now and it's really hard on him. We didn't realize this teacher played favorites until DD, who had her for math two years ago, told us. These aren't adults, FFS, they're children and in the OP's case, Kindergarten. So she's, what, five years old?

Talk to the counselor. Keep the lines of communication open with the teacher, if for no other reason than she knows you're paying attention. Pay attention to it and don't be afraid to go to school admin if necessary. Good luck.

I had a similar situation with my daughter, but she was the one who was the favorite. I spoke with the principal in this case, because I do think it’s important that she knows what’s going on. I shared a few examples where it would not be obvious that the information came from my child.

There are instances where life is unfair, and this could be one of them. But also, the teacher needs to be told to change her behavior. It’s not ok to treat kids that way.

[Anonymous]

To add, the counselor may or may not share with the principal and the counselor isn’t the teacher’s supervisor so you don’t know if the counselor has shared with anyone or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a public school? Fountas and Pinnell is crap. That’s what I’d be worrying about.


- a teacher

+1.

https://www.apmreports.org/story/2023/12/11/benchmark-assessment-system-reading-test-often-wrong

'Benchmark Assessment System reading test is widely used and often wrong

“Flipping a coin would actually be better” for identifying struggling readers, one researcher said of the test created by influential curriculum developers Fountas and Pinnell. '

F&P's baseline curriculum is one of the worst out there, and if the test is used, there's a good chance that F&P's reading material is also being used.