Teacher favorites

[Anonymous]

Looking for a gut check that i am handling this right and some similar experiences and ideas what to say to kid.

DD is in kindergarten at Public school. She went to prek at this school and had a great experience. I think she really connected with her teacher. My kid always loved school.

This year well the teacher seems to clearly have her favorites. And it is not DD. My observations -
- at drop off the teacher is always hugging and greeting certain kids. Not others. Not DD.
- Teacher has shared the reading levels (fountas) with the kids and my daughter has reported the levels of others. My DD hasn’t gotten her assessment yet but others have. Teacher told us multiple times during the first conference that “some kids are already reading”. My SIL is a teacher and said that was weird. It is clear that many parents taught their kid to read before K (super competitive area we live in not dc) —we did not. We have stepped up reading at home and DD is making lots of progress.
- DD reports Girl A who has the highest reading level is the teachers helper and only Girl A is allowed to help. Last year DD loved when she could help the teacher. Also Girl A parents are one of the class parents (there are 2) and this was selected by the teacher on the first day. Girl A has older sibling that the teacher taught.
- DD had a week of not wanting to go to school very sad and crying and we met with the guidance counselor. It was seemingly about someone made fun of her for talking with food in her mouth. Wouldn’t say who. (I don’t totally buy this ). This passed but I’ve checked in with the counselor who says “DD sees others getting attention and she wants that” so the counselor had been hanging out with her at lunch and stopping by her after school program to say hi. The counselor reports DD doesn’t feel confident about herself and they are working on that.

My gut here is that I just monitor. I did share the reading levels stuff with the counselor and she made a face and said usually we don’t like to make that a competition. The teacher in this case is older and kindof old school. Set in her ways. My approach with DD is going to be continued contact with the helpful counselor and wait and see. Deep down I want to talk to the teacher and air my grievances (can’t the kids at least take turns helping?) but I don’t see that going well and feel like it could be held against DD.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, this is only the beginning of people treating your kid like they’re not special, just a normal kid like everyone else. Are all the other kids riddled with anxiety and dents to their confidence over the one special helper? I get that it seems unfair, especially in kindergarten and it probably is, however, your daughter needs additional counseling and intervention before she’s set up for a life of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Op here. She’s not riddled with anxiety over the helper. She reported it to me very matter of fact. She had one bad week around something at school and happily goes now. She is learning to read and doing well in other areas.

The whole thing just strikes me as unfair and needlessly competitive.

[Anonymous]

You sound insecure. Seek therapy asap

[Anonymous]

Seriously. You need to unclench. If your daughter is reporting things as matter of fact, they're not an issue. Don't make them one. There will always be advanced kids and behind kids. Teachers will focus on some and not others. It's life.

[Anonymous]

The one special helper and reading portion do seem unfair and unnecessarily competitive. The kindergarten teachers my kids had definitely rotated class jobs and the kids were not aware of reading scores. They did know the reading groups which were done by levels, but that was it.

I think you gave the right idea to keep your mouth shut on it. Your daughter is in kindergarten, so just getting started in school. Some teachers are unfair and it sounds like she’s getting the help she needs by seeing the counselor. It’s best to stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

It’s absolutely unfair! This is a great time to teach your DD that life is like that.

[Anonymous]

Unclench OP

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to these unclench comments. Just monitor for the rest of 2nd quarter, if things really do seem unfair, then ask the principal to have your child placed in another classroom. This is your child, do what you think is best and tell everyone else to STFU.

[Anonymous]

You're going to have mediocre/subpar teachers. It sounds like this may be one. Just get through the year. I'm glad your DD has a counselor that seems good!

[Anonymous]

Oh well. Nothing to do but carry on and finish the school year. Work with her at home as much as possible, tell her to work hard and pay attention, and listen to teacher.

[Anonymous]

Op. Thanks. These responses even the meaner ones were what I needed to hear. This is a Mr issue, for sure.

[Anonymous]

A “me issue” not a Mr issue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A “me issue” not a Mr issue!

It certainly is

[Anonymous]

Life is unfair. I don't like it that much when my DC gets too much attention or affection from teachers. I am fine as long as teacher stays neutral and does not isolate or treat/perceive DC as the ONLY one kid unfairly in classroom. I don't tolerate any kind of mental, physical or verbal abuse from teachers. DC is sometimes attention seeking & low EQ, and I would rather he learns to accept that life is unfair and sonetimes one just needs to move on.