Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm begging you to come back and explain how coffee with dessert is passé.

Not OP, but I do feel like that was pretty clearly addressed in the opening paragraph of the post. No?

NP. I disagree. Just because she says it's passe doesn't make it so.

[Anonymous]

I will say I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who regularly serves coffee with dessert. If they’re doing it, it’s because someone old asked for it, or there are older people at the restaurant in our party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm begging you to come back and explain how coffee with dessert is passé.

Not OP, but I do feel like that was pretty clearly addressed in the opening paragraph of the post. No?

NP. I disagree. Just because she says it's passe doesn't make it so.

But OP didn’t call dessert + coffee passé, she called expecting it passé, and then went on to pretty much spell out what she meant be expecting it.

Maybe that doesn’t make it so, but the earlier PP asked OP to come back and explain how coffee + dessert is passé but OP never made that claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice I said “expecting” as the first word in that sentence. ENJOYING coffee with dessert is fine. EXPECTING it is annoying and passé.

Don’t hold up a restaurant meal by suddenly deciding *after the desserts have already been ordered and brought to the table* that you also need coffee. If you’re going to order it with dessert, put the order in at the same time as your dessert order. If the check drops and then you decide “coffee too,” you are not only making extra work for the server, but you are forcing everyone else to sit there longer when they are clearly ready to go.

And guess what, it’s 2023 and yes, your dining companions will leave you to it. Once the check hits the table, people are free to leave, and no that’s not rude. You are rude.

Similarly, if a host and hostess treat you to a nice meal at their home, they may offer coffee with dessert; of course you can accept. But if that’s not the habit of the house, it is beyond rude to ask for it. If you “need” coffee that badly, hit the 7/11 or McDonald’s on your way home. At a family member’s house, I suppose you could ask if you could make coffee, but only if you also offer to clean it up.

This is not a thing anymore. It’s annoying and passé. Enjoy it when you can, but don’t expect it and be rude about it.

You can leave whenever you want. The sooner, the better, so the rest of us can enjoy coffee in peace.

[Anonymous]

I suspect OP really just doesn't like leisurely dinners with courses. They probably only drink coffee while they are walking or driving to save time and avoid people they don't like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coffee with dessert is vulgar. One has a demitasse, no milk, after one has finished one's pudding.

(I don't actually follow this rule, but I bet people will get worked up about the statement despite this disclaimer)

This is correct. At least in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect OP really just doesn't like leisurely dinners with courses. They probably only drink coffee while they are walking or driving to save time and avoid people they don't like.

This is all about OP seething over having to spend one extra second at the table with her Mil or FIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice I said “expecting” as the first word in that sentence. ENJOYING coffee with dessert is fine. EXPECTING it is annoying and passé.

Don’t hold up a restaurant meal by suddenly deciding *after the desserts have already been ordered and brought to the table* that you also need coffee. If you’re going to order it with dessert, put the order in at the same time as your dessert order. If the check drops and then you decide “coffee too,” you are not only making extra work for the server, but you are forcing everyone else to sit there longer when they are clearly ready to go.

And guess what, it’s 2023 and yes, your dining companions will leave you to it. Once the check hits the table, people are free to leave, and no that’s not rude. You are rude.

Similarly, if a host and hostess treat you to a nice meal at their home, they may offer coffee with dessert; of course you can accept. But if that’s not the habit of the house, it is beyond rude to ask for it. If you “need” coffee that badly, hit the 7/11 or McDonald’s on your way home. At a family member’s house, I suppose you could ask if you could make coffee, but only if you also offer to clean it up.

This is not a thing anymore. It’s annoying and passé. Enjoy it when you can, but don’t expect it and be rude about it.

Use your words instead of ranting here.

[Anonymous]

What are you saying - that it’s passe or that it’s annoying?

My close friend loves to have coffee after dinner. I know I have to make her an espresso drink after dinner no matter what. It’s not that upsetting to me. She’s my friend so I want her to enjoy herself in my home.

[Anonymous]

Has it more work for the server if they order after desert or with? Said a a former server, GM and restaurant consultant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who regularly serves coffee with dessert. If they’re doing it, it’s because someone old asked for it, or there are older people at the restaurant in our party.

Universalizing one’s experiences is a poor gauge of societal trends.

I always serve coffee with dessert and am under age 50. Some Others in my age group do the same while others do not.

[Anonymous]

OP, I need to know the story behind this rant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice I said “expecting” as the first word in that sentence. ENJOYING coffee with dessert is fine. EXPECTING it is annoying and passé.

Don’t hold up a restaurant meal by suddenly deciding *after the desserts have already been ordered and brought to the table* that you also need coffee. If you’re going to order it with dessert, put the order in at the same time as your dessert order. If the check drops and then you decide “coffee too,” you are not only making extra work for the server, but you are forcing everyone else to sit there longer when they are clearly ready to go.

And guess what, it’s 2023 and yes, your dining companions will leave you to it. Once the check hits the table, people are free to leave, and no that’s not rude. You are rude.

Similarly, if a host and hostess treat you to a nice meal at their home, they may offer coffee with dessert; of course you can accept. But if that’s not the habit of the house, it is beyond rude to ask for it. If you “need” coffee that badly, hit the 7/11 or McDonald’s on your way home. At a family member’s house, I suppose you could ask if you could make coffee, but only if you also offer to clean it up.

This is not a thing anymore. It’s annoying and passé. Enjoy it when you can, but don’t expect it and be rude about it.

Weird food-related rants are passe.

[Anonymous]

My husband often sends restaurants on a coffee wild goose chase late in the game. It’s annoying, but nothing to get worked up over , op. If you don’t feel like making coffee, just fib and say you ran out of beans or something.

[Anonymous]

I agree. When my in laws visit, my FIL always ask "Is there coffee?" when we bring out dessert. Nope, there's no coffee. Feel free to make some while we enjoy dessert though.