Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its rude not to offer a warm beverage to guests before sending them on their way.

Why? During the summer, too?

+1

[Anonymous]

Yeesh.

[Anonymous]

Even for DCUM, this is quite a rant.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm begging you to come back and explain how coffee with dessert is passé.

[Anonymous]

I have a family member who is not interested in having the coffee, but it is their way of showing offence if the bill is presented without being asked if they want one after their meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm begging you to come back and explain how coffee with dessert is passé.

Not OP, but I do feel like that was pretty clearly addressed in the opening paragraph of the post. No?

[Anonymous]

Coffee and chocolates around the open fireplace after a meal is such a civilized and delightful end to an evening that I am sincerely sorry for people who get into a snit about it because it's "so passe."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who is not interested in having the coffee, but it is their way of showing offence if the bill is presented without being asked if they want one after their meal.

Exhibit A of an obnoxious person being passive aggressive and raining on everyone else’s evening, not just the server’s.

[Anonymous]

I'm the passe judge and I rule that it is passe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coffee and chocolates around the open fireplace after a meal is such a civilized and delightful end to an evening that I am sincerely sorry for people who get into a snit about it because it's "so passe."

she very clearly exempted ENJOYING dessert & coffee….

[Anonymous]

Coffee with dessert is vulgar. One has a demitasse, no milk, after one has finished one's pudding.

(I don't actually follow this rule, but I bet people will get worked up about the statement despite this disclaimer)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coffee and chocolates around the open fireplace after a meal is such a civilized and delightful end to an evening that I am sincerely sorry for people who get into a snit about it because it's "so passe."

If that’s what your host offers, that’s great. If they want to conclude the evening with dessert, it would be rude to ask for more entertaining.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you had a specific annoying experience, or are speaking about a specific person in your life, and then trying to extrapolate a "rule" for society based on this. Who are you, Bill Maher?

Do what you want. Leave when your dining companions order coffee, tell visitors to your home "we don't make coffee", whatever. But know that other people might have different expectations (yes EXPECTations) and might feel a certain way about your behavior, just like you feel a certain way about theirs. You can try to compromise or you can take a hard line and accept that it might negatively impact your relationships (I've done both, on subjects unrelated to coffee after a meal). But no, you don't get to dictate the new rules for society or manners based on your personal preferences. Emily Post you are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you had a specific annoying experience, or are speaking about a specific person in your life, and then trying to extrapolate a "rule" for society based on this. Who are you, Bill Maher?

Do what you want. Leave when your dining companions order coffee, tell visitors to your home "we don't make coffee", whatever. But know that other people might have different expectations (yes EXPECTations) and might feel a certain way about your behavior, just like you feel a certain way about theirs. You can try to compromise or you can take a hard line and accept that it might negatively impact your relationships (I've done both, on subjects unrelated to coffee after a meal). But no, you don't get to dictate the new rules for society or manners based on your personal preferences. Emily Post you are not.

So you get to dictate what OP dictates?

[Anonymous]

I will agree with you! My in laws do this and it is annoying. All their meals take hours. I just leave now though. Thank god for children who always need my attention or who will be waking me up early thus necessitating my early bedtime.