Want to break up with boyfriend

[Anonymous]

OP I am not hoping you will not end up in a terrible compensatory lawsuit for punitive harrassment and emotional inequity. We've often seen that happen in case (woodworkers, competence, etc.) You've got to look at the overall ratio and appeal to the greater good and got it doubled over or pretzeled up. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait what? Is it possible that he is just friends with them independent of his relationship with her?

I have picked up some random straggler friends from my exes over the years. Friends with and ex’s sister, a different ex’s mom, a different ex’s next girlfriend now also an ex girlfriend of his is my bff……

People don’t “own” people. People have to be divvied up at the end of relationships for shared custody like kids. Sorry if you don’t like that.

He’s apparently spending the entire holidays with his ex in-laws. That is unusual and may mean he really isn’t over his ex.

OP already said she didn’t mind his having a relationship with ex in-laws. Her gripe is that she will be without BF for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he's divorced op?

I understand possibly spending time with former inlaws if there are kids or even if not and it was a long relationship and they are close. I understand maybe going to a dinner or a party, but traveling for an extra period seems a bit questionable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. We have a great time together, but I’ve been questioning continuing the relationship because he seems to not be over his ex-wife.

He planned a beautiful vacation for us in Jamaica with his friends. I was apprehensive about going given my reservations on the relationship, but decided to think on it more since I like him and did not want to waste his money or embarrass him in front of friends by not coming.

Now that we are on the trip I just want to end it. We have been discussing the upcoming holidays and plans and he is spending them with his ex-in laws. I’m unsure of how to handle the rest of the trip. I’m not in a good mood because I feel upset and disappointed. How would you proceed?

How does he show he isn't over his ex wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am not hoping you will not end up in a terrible compensatory lawsuit for punitive harrassment and emotional inequity. We've often seen that happen in case (woodworkers, competence, etc.) You've got to look at the overall ratio and appeal to the greater good and got it doubled over or pretzeled up. Best of luck.

WTF. This is the second nonsensical word salad post in this thread. Sounds like ChatGPT having a seizure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you are breaking up and leaving but suggest he tell his friends that you have a family emergency of some sort so that his friends don’t get all bent out of shape. They’d ask a ton of questions that he wouldn’t want to answer.

You cannot worry about what he does after you leave. Who cares. Be done with it.

He’s gonna go nuts and say WTF am I going to tell my friends. Calm him down by saying there’s and emergency and then get out of dodge. The first rule in crisis management is to reduce the temperature.

the onus is not on the person leaving and breaking up with the shmuck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am not hoping you will not end up in a terrible compensatory lawsuit for punitive harrassment and emotional inequity. We've often seen that happen in case (woodworkers, competence, etc.) You've got to look at the overall ratio and appeal to the greater good and got it doubled over or pretzeled up. Best of luck.

WTF. This is the second nonsensical word salad post in this thread. Sounds like ChatGPT having a seizure.

Excuse us? When OP didn't respond to perfectly fine idea on leveraging Uber Eats, Door Dash or some other kind of delivery option as a breakwater strategy we became concerned the idea here is to innovate a solution our putting this way: if it's not fixed, don't break it! LOL. We recently suffered yet another theft of beloved wheeled item and have been able to call on a collection of neighbors (all strangers) to look into just what happened. Makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

You want to be invited to his ex wife’s parents’ holiday party?

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am not hoping you will not end up in a terrible compensatory lawsuit for punitive harrassment and emotional inequity. We've often seen that happen in case (woodworkers, competence, etc.) You've got to look at the overall ratio and appeal to the greater good and got it doubled over or pretzeled up. Best of luck.

WTF. This is the second nonsensical word salad post in this thread. Sounds like ChatGPT having a seizure.

gave me laugh too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am not hoping you will not end up in a terrible compensatory lawsuit for punitive harrassment and emotional inequity. We've often seen that happen in case (woodworkers, competence, etc.) You've got to look at the overall ratio and appeal to the greater good and got it doubled over or pretzeled up. Best of luck.

WTF. This is the second nonsensical word salad post in this thread. Sounds like ChatGPT having a seizure.

Excuse us? When OP didn't respond to perfectly fine idea on leveraging Uber Eats, Door Dash or some other kind of delivery option as a breakwater strategy we became concerned the idea here is to innovate a solution our putting this way: if it's not fixed, don't break it! LOL. We recently suffered yet another theft of beloved wheeled item and have been able to call on a collection of neighbors (all strangers) to look into just what happened. Makes sense.

omg!! does anyone else remember the thread where a crazy PP was telling an OP in a similar situation to pretend to be a Door Dash driver to check up on her BF??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

You want to be invited to his ex wife’s parents’ holiday party?

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!!

Best case scenario he just wouldn’t go to such things anymore

[Anonymous]

OP do you have access to the ex's home address? If you did or do, you could act as an Uber Eats or Door Dash driver who's delivering a special meal that the ex (Mr. BF!) is sending to her as a friendly gesture, probably a favorite meal they used to enjoy together. When you get there you strike up a gal-to-gal conversation "My manager explained to me this meal is from your ex. Sister, I've Been There and Done That"-type of thing. With a little luck you will be able to get her talking and get some information out of her on where they stand, future plans, etc. We're just saying sometimes you need to think Inside the box. Good luck to all and let me know who it turns out to have been.

[Anonymous]

If you can handle it, I would try to remain on the trip if at all possible for you to do so.

In all honesty, I could not & would need to leave immediately.

[Anonymous]

Who cares if it’s rude, do what is best for you. Say goodbye to his friends before you leave, keep it short and don’t over explain.

I hope you break up with him for good and don’t let him reel you back in.