Want to break up with boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

He’s traveling to see them and not it town at all?

While am sympathetic to his ties to former in-laws, life does go on. Those ties should naturally wane, and the in-laws should gracefully bow out as he moves on to create new ties. What I’m saying is that it’s not right for you to demand he never speak to them again; but also not right if he’s traveling to see them over the holidays, excludes you, or has an overly close relationship with them.

I say you tell him how you feel and see how he responds. Give him a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

tbh that is strange. my uncle in law is close to all his ex in-laws but mostly because they are his kids cousins, grandparents, etc.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you are breaking up and leaving but suggest he tell his friends that you have a family emergency of some sort so that his friends don’t get all bent out of shape. They’d ask a ton of questions that he wouldn’t want to answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you are breaking up and leaving but suggest he tell his friends that you have a family emergency of some sort so that his friends don’t get all bent out of shape. They’d ask a ton of questions that he wouldn’t want to answer.

You cannot worry about what he does after you leave. Who cares. Be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

I understand why you want to break up.

I also understand why he didn't invite you.

[Anonymous]

How long has he been divorced,?

[Anonymous]

Wait what? Is it possible that he is just friends with them independent of his relationship with her?

I have picked up some random straggler friends from my exes over the years. Friends with and ex’s sister, a different ex’s mom, a different ex’s next girlfriend now also an ex girlfriend of his is my bff……

People don’t “own” people. People have to be divvied up at the end of relationships for shared custody like kids. Sorry if you don’t like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, I was in a long marriage and my ex in-laws are like family to me. My ex and I don’t get along, she’s never there, and I’m completely over her but I still see her family a lot including cousins, siblings,etc. My current GF has even met a bunch of them and has no issue with it.

OP here. I understand that her family is like his own. The problem for me is that he did not invite me to come along. I don’t want to date one one for months and months, give them a ton of my free time, to turn around and be alone on holidays.

I understand why you want to break up.

I also understand why he didn't invite you.

+1 Less than a year together seems premature.

[Anonymous]

Just enjoy the rest of the trip to the best of your ability- no need for excess drama and embarrassment. Break up with him when you get home and tell him why. Explain you wanted to spare him the embarrassment in front of his friends. He can’t possibly find it surprising. I would not offer any reimbursement.

[Anonymous]

Today is Friday, when is your scheduled flight home? Basically, do you have another week or a few days? Since you committed to this trip, I wouldn’t make a scene/drama and leave early. After the vacation, you two need to talk about the ex in law situation. Tell him it makes you question his commitment to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you are breaking up and leaving but suggest he tell his friends that you have a family emergency of some sort so that his friends don’t get all bent out of shape. They’d ask a ton of questions that he wouldn’t want to answer.

You cannot worry about what he does after you leave. Who cares. Be done with it.

He’s gonna go nuts and say WTF am I going to tell my friends. Calm him down by saying there’s and emergency and then get out of dodge. The first rule in crisis management is to reduce the temperature.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him before you break up with him. He may have something to say that makes you look at the situation differently. If he doesn't then you can break up. I don't know if I would leave though. Maybe try to spend some more time on your own. Book a spa day.

[Anonymous]

Years ago I went on vacation with a BF and the weather was miserable and he became a whining a-hole and I was done with him. I stayed the last few days because breaking up there and trying to get home would have been a sh..storm. So I stayed and while he watched tv in the room I did my own thing. I ended it soon after we got back so for me staying worked out. I guess I wanted to be on my own turf when I broke up with him. So, if I were OP I’d stay and just make the best of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait what? Is it possible that he is just friends with them independent of his relationship with her?

I have picked up some random straggler friends from my exes over the years. Friends with and ex’s sister, a different ex’s mom, a different ex’s next girlfriend now also an ex girlfriend of his is my bff……

People don’t “own” people. People have to be divvied up at the end of relationships for shared custody like kids. Sorry if you don’t like that.

He’s apparently spending the entire holidays with his ex in-laws. That is unusual and may mean he really isn’t over his ex.